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Lyle The Intern: The Interview

Q. Tell us about your background. Where did you grow up? Which college do you attend? Family?

A. What's with all the questions, JACK!

Q. Moving right along, in which department are you an intern? What's a typical day for you at the show?

A. All departments. I drift from to there. When there is a problem - Lyle fixes it. I am a fixer. That includes making copies, killing rats in the theater, getting lunch, killing rats in the office, passing out memos, killing rats in the storage room, getting coffee.

Q. You seem to get along well with Paul Shaffer. How did you two become so tight?

A. Paul and I are cut from the same cloth. We share the same vibe. We both 'get' 'it.'

Q. Tell us something about Dave that we don't know.

A. He's only 4 feet 9 inches tall. Crazy little funny fat bastard.

Q. Interns aren't generally allowed in the studio during the show. How is it that you're able to get so close to Dave?

A. They don't lock the doors to the studio.

Q. Thanks, Lyle. We appreciate you taking the time to answer our five questions.

A. Wait, I'm not done. Make it worth Lyle's time. What else you got?

Q. How are you with the ladies? Dating other interns?

A. Lyle has room in his heart for only one love -- the show, and Dave. Two loves. The show and Dave. Also most of the lady girls here won't talk to Lyle.

Q. You've been a "Late Show" intern for a long time. Don't you need to go back to school?

A. School need to come back to me.

Q. What's the best part of interning at the "Late Show"?

A. The free soda. Lyle loves his Dr. Pepper.