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Wednesday, February 16, 1994

Top Ten Signs Greg Gumbel is Nuts
  
Has been eating nothing but Slim Jims and Gatorade
Every time the U.S. wins a medal, he takes off another article of clothing.
Asks each of his guests, "Who's fatter, me or Bryant?"
The parrot and eye patch
Signed a long-term contract with CBS Sports
Invested millions in line of soups called Greg Gumbo
Signs off each night with "Take that, you Norwegian bastards!"
Drank quart of Old Milwaukee and tried to extinguish Olympic torch
Officially changed name to Greg Gumbel-Gillooly
Keeps proposing to my mom
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