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Monday, March 06, 1995

Top Ten Signs Major Giuliani has gone nuts
  
Appointed his hairpiece deputy mayor
Actually tried eating one of those street vendor hot dogs
Confessed to having a long-term affair with a Tenth Avenue pothole
Officially changed his name to Mayor McCheese
Thought sending the standby audience to The Gap was a good idea
Has vowed to "bomb Brooklyn back to the Stone Age"
Gracie Mansion now called "Melrose Place East"
Takes midnight strolls through Harlem in his underpants
Has ordered giant sculpture of himself next to Statue of Liberty with his hand on her ass
His new housekeeper? Rosa Lopez
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