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Thursday, May 18, 1995

Top Ten Reasons John Cleese Could Not Be On Our Program
  
Mother won't let me.
I have to wash my hair tonight.
It's my turn to be a witness at the O.J. Simpson trial.
My recent marriage to Larry King.
I'm busy rehearsing my one-man show, 'Congressman! A Tribute to Sonny Bono.'
Tonight's the night I bowl with the royals.
I've heard your dressing rooms have rats the size of beagles.
I have a nasty case of don't-want-to-be-on-your-worthless-program-itis.
I'm getting ready to host next year's Oscars.
Frankly, I haven't the slightest clue who David Lettersby is.
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