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Friday, August 11, 1995

Top Ten Other Ways To Forfeit A Baseball Game
  
Have stadium announcer start "outing" players
From blimp high above field, drop Babe Ruth onto pitcher's mound
Players blood-alcohol level higher than their on-base percentage
Catcher fails to pass local emission standards
Fans get to third base with players' wives, if you know what I mean
Being caught wearing the still experimental "Wondercup"
Have Dick Assman do all the pitching (roll VT of Dick throwing lame pitch)
New ball girl? Divine Brown
Ask announcer to introduce you as "The Unabatter"
Three words: Bloody Glove Day
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