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Wednesday, January 17, 1996

Top Ten Ways The Post Office Will Spend The Extra Money From Rate Hike
  
Hire consultants to figure out how to plan next rate hike
To find new and better ways to lose our nation's mail
Stamps the size of door mats!
Face lift for Mr. Zip
Commemorative stamp collection featuring President Clinton and all of his mistresses
Lobby to put a mailman on Mount Rushmore
Battery-operated vibrating mail bags
Special stamp glue that gives you a three hour buzz
Retain the services of Robert Shapiro
Ammo! Ammo! Ammo!
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