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Friday, January 19, 1996

Top Ten Reasons Dan Quayle Dropped Out Of The Race
  
Manager at Dairy Queen wouldn't give him time off to campaign
Couldn't decide which Power Ranger to choose as running mate
Wants to devote more time to looking for Waldo
Has decided to run for President of Indiana instead
Didn't know whether or not there was "e" at the end of Quayle
Afraid that if elected, he'd have to do whatever Hillary says
Doesn't want to live in a house that everybody keeps shooting at
Scared folks might find out he's one can short of a six-pack
Just signed to co-star with Jim Carrey in "Dumb and Dumber 2"
He's yella
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