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Tuesday, November 19, 1996

Top Ten Signs There's Already Trouble in Michael Jackson's Marriage
  
Their plastic surgeons aren't speaking to each other
She's constantly screaming, "You're no Tito!"
She's filed a restraining order to make him "cut out that Moonwalking crap"
Her parents just found out that Michael Jackson used to be black
She's discovered that he's not exactly a "Thriller" in the sack
They're always fighting over the mascara
When he removed his surgical mask, she said, "Michael Jackson? I thought I was marrying Michael Jordan!"
They just can't agree on whether to raise their child as a freak or a weirdo
Sign on her bedroom door says, "Neverland"
She's started dating O.J.
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