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Monday, March 03, 1997

Top Ten Signs Mayor Giuliani is Nuts
  
Opens press conference by singing a few verses of "Smoke on the Water"
Enjoyed "Victor/Victoria" so much, he's changing his name to "Rudy Julie-Andrews"
Every morning, willingly drinks a glass of New York City tap water
Wants to encase city in giant lucite bubble "to keep out all the flyin' monkeys"
Left Mrs. Giuliani alone with President Clinton for five minutes
Attributes drop in crime rate to his after-hours work as Batman
Approved plan to open a Starbucks in the head of the Statue of Liberty
Arrives at all appointments riding piggy-back on Al Sharpton
He's been moonlighting as male stripper called "Rudy the Rocket"
Believes Michael Jackson is the real father of that baby
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