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Wednesday, May 14, 1997

Top Ten Ways to Get Kicked Out of Your Prom
  
Offer the chaperones a 10% discount on all crack purchases
Your so-called boutonniere is really just intricately folded bologna
Invitation reads, "no red-haired freaks," but you bring Danny Bonaduce
Refuse to remove your cardboard Burger King crown
As they list each nominee for Prom King, you shout, "gay!"
The theme is "under the sea," but you brazenly insist on acting as though you're above sea level
You're a Woonsocket man and you're not in Woonsocket
Start "dirty dancing" with the lesbian gym teacher
Show up wearing nothing but a cummerbund
You're celebrating your 43rd birthday
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