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Friday, November 07, 1997

Top Ten Reasons Alex Trebek Became a U.S. Citizen
  
Dying to show off how much he knows at the citizenship exam.
For 10th year in a row, lost Sexiest Canadian Alive to that bastard Alan Thicke.
Became interested after playing U.S. Citizenship: the Home Game.
Risked everything to flee Canada's crushing Communist regime.
What is...American tail?
Finally admitted to himself he's just not that interested in hockey.
Canadian bacon -- neither crispy nor delicious; American bacon -- crispy and very delicious.
After you're sworn in as citizen, you get a free USA totebag.
Got into a little Jeopardy with a stripper in Toronto.
I'll take "Who gives a crap?" for a thousand.
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