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Friday, May 08, 1998

Top Ten Things My Mom Said to Me While I Was Growing Up
  
What did I tell you about putting on Mommy's lip gloss?
Remember, David, you're only here because the gypsies didn't want you
Comb your hair, or it'll look that way when you're 51
Yes, David, you're very funny -- now finish your Prozac
Of course I'll be your prom date
With grades like these, you'll have to go to Ball State
Look at all the empty chairs we invited to your birthday party
Next time you'll have to raise your own bail money
I know what you're doing in there
Time for bed, Steve, or whatever the hell your name is
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