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Wednesday, May 26, 1999

Top Ten Losing Entries In The Pillsbury Bake-Off
  
Newark cream pie
Resin clusters
Slobodan slaw
"Never mind the blood" cheesecake
Chinese apple pie made from stolen American recipe
1998's winning entry after one year on the back porch
"Thanks for making me your sole beneficiary" apple turnover
Gummy lard
Chicken a la Don King
Big yummy bag of flour
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Triple caramel pork tarts.

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Times Square taffy

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Char-broiled chipmunk found in my tailpipe

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Rubber band chews

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A bunch of cookies that Rob Zombie touched

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Week-old sushi roulette

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Raw clams a la mode

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Squirrel shortcake

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Bacon smoothie

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