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Thursday, January 06, 2000

Top Ten Questions On The New York Jets Head Coach Application
  
What kind of frosting do you want on your going-away cake?
Do you have references from other teams from which you've resigned?
If you wind up coaching another team, can we come with you?
Look, cut the crap -- are you gonna quit or not?
Do you have access to an amazing field goal-kicking donkey?
Is your hat size 7 and 5/8? 'Cause that's the only size helmet we have'
Are you bothered by 70,000 people chanting "you suck"?
True or false: a football is kind of football-shaped.
Is the main reason you want this job because you're intrigued by a locker room full of hulking, naked men?
Can you operate a clipboard?
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