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Friday, January 07, 2000

Top Ten Features Of A Really Scary Haunted House
  
Glow-in-the-dark Yeltsin liver.
Barbra Streisand music is coming from somewhere but you can't tell where.
Ride consists of 12 hours in factory where you sew together Nikes for 8 Cents an hour.
On wall hangs movie poster for "Bicentennial Man 2."
A decomposing corpse that just got engaged to Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Pervasive old-man smell.
They make you share a long elevator ride with a really talkative guy you only kind of know.
Step-by-step demonstration of how a chicken becomes a mcnugget.
A room full of mirrors and a naked John Madden.
Guy named Puffy keeps shooting at you.
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