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Thursday, February 03, 2000

Top Ten Things That Will Get You Suspended by Major League Baseball
  
Secretly switching the Gatorade with the urine samples
Inviting some guys you met at the Port Authority to come shower with the team
Using Diamondvision to give entire crowd the finger
Having a batting average lower than your blood alcohol level
You've used too much pine tar and it ain't on your bat
For the last several innings you've played shortstop in a delightful cocktail dress
During "Star Spangled Banner," you do a slow, seductive striptease
Wearing your cup outside your pants
Hitting for the cycle with the umpire's wife
Corking yourself
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