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Wednesday, August 16, 2000

Top Ten Highlights If This Guy's Life Were Broadcast
  
That time he almost talked to the pretty girl on the subway
Watching him buy that shirt -- bragging, "Only cost me three dollars"
When he belched all the words to "The Star-Spangled Banner"
Asked to leave grandmother's funeral for belching "The Star-Spangled Banner"
"Will they or won't they" sexual tension between him and her
Once a day hearing phrase, "Table for one, sir?"
Bitter, drawn-out litigation against me, Dave, for doing Top Ten List about him
The attractive layouts he devises for his N'Sync scrapbook
Smooth pickup lines no inflatable woman can resist
Not enough highlights of this guy's life to fill entire Top Ten List
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The elaborately constructed wedding ceremony for his kitties

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Gets a phone call form a chick -- wrong number

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Cleverly telling boss he had to leave work early today because of a dentist appointment

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Every morning, the tense "Which socks?" drama

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The excitement then dashed hopes as what appears to be personal letters turns out to be junk mail

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Calling 800 number on macaroni & cheese box, having nice conversation with operator about how tasty product is

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Those quiet moments alone with a drink and scrambled cable channels

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Going to Star Trek convention -- for 3rd year in a row winning Klingon look-a-like contest

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His "customer of the month" ceremony at Hooters

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The time he lucked out, and the jury in his case couldn't reach a verdict

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