DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Friday, August 18, 2000
Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From A Lifeguard
"I was shocked how easy it is to get counterfeit Red
Cross certification"
"I probably should've waited until I was off-duty to
get stinkin' drunk"
"Hey you -- put a shirt on, I just ate lunch!"
"I gotta run and get some stamps -- nobody drown
while I'm gone"
"If the water's a little warmer around there, it's my fault"
"Yeah I'm David Hasselhoff -- life's been tough since
they cancelled 'Baywatch'"
"All right, everybody out! Time for daddy's bubble bath!"
"You better be careful, pal -- there's no way I'm
giving you mouth-to-mouth"
"If I find out you've eaten in the last half hour, so
help me god I'll kill you"
"Shark!"
·
"I'm really working on getting over my fear of water"
·
"Anyone wearing a bathing suit like yours deserves to drown"
·
"You're on your own -- I'm allergic to chlorine"
·
"Me and Annie the CPR doll have a date tonight"
·
"Man, I think I ate too much sunblock"
·
"The safest place in this pool is on my lap"
·
"My third day on the job and I've only lost 16 people"
·
"Would you go to the bottom of the deep end and see
if the dead guy is still there?"
·
"Release the barracudas!"
·
"You'll never guess where I hide my whistle"
·
"I'd go in the pool but the water might rust the
metal plate in my head"
·
"Hey pal, would you lotion some of the
harder-to-reach places for me?"
"Late Show" Rewind: Week of July 27, 2009 Adam, Katie, Eric, Amy, Mark and more. All the best LS highlights from the week of July 27, 2009.
