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Friday, June 08, 2001

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your Weather Forecaster
  
"It looks like there's about a 70% chance of rain and about a 100% chance I'm going to get blind, stinkin' drunk tonight"
From KOAM in Joplin, Missouri/Pittsburgh, Kansas, Tyler Daniel
"It's going to be a hot one today, so use this as an opportunity to make fun of a fat guy in a tank top"
From WDTV in Clarksburg, West Virginia, Brandon Butcher
"I hope the heavy rains don't uncover the bodies I buried"
From WCAX in Burlington, Vermont, Sharon Meyer
"Today I am feeling unseasonably sexy"
From KTVL in Medford, Oregon, Jon Galfano
"Rain, sun, snow, sleet -- what's the difference? We're all gonna die someday"
From KRTV in Great Falls, Montana, Fred Pfeiffer
"I have no idea what any of this means, I should probably take a class or something"
From KELO in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, Shawn Cable
"There's a light trickle going on right now, which reminds me -- Sheila, would you get an appointment with Dr. Fisch for me"
From KIMA in Yakima, Washington, Stu Seibel
"Enough with the weather, let's take a look at my recent oral surgery"
From WCBS in New York, New York, Tony Pann
"After all this talk about rain, I gotta take a wicked leak"
From WTKR in Norfolk, Virginia, Dave Parker
"Die, you millions of tiny, pathetic people, die!"
From KHSL in Chico, California, Anthony Watts
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