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Friday, November 23, 2001

Top Ten Ways To Get Osama Out Of His Cave
  
Disconnect his cable
Send phony recall notice from his turban manufacturer
One of our special forces guys sneaks in and pulls the fire alarm
Announce "Mr. Beard" pageant being held down the street
CIA puts growth hormone in his food so after a couple days the cave is too small
Offer free trial prescription for social anxiety disorder medication Paxil
Fake postcard from Mullah Omar in Las Vegas reading "This place is awesome, dude!"
Free pie -- I don't care who you are, you're not gonna turn down free pie
In local paper, advertise weapons of mass destruction sale at Kabul Wal-Mart
Send sexy bearded woman to cave asking directions
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