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Wednesday, January 30, 2002

Top Ten Surprises In Last Night's State of the Union Address
  
President's opener, "Big ups to the peeps in my West coast crew"
Due to a mix-up, teleprompter was loaded with Jimmy Carter's 1979 address
Disoriented Strom Thurmond kept screaming, "Who's cooking 'taters?"
Beach ball that bounced around -- started by Joe Lieberman
When clerk introduced "the President of the United States" Hillary started making her way up the aisle
The girl he pulled out of the audience and danced with on stage -- a young Courtney Cox
Whenever Bush said, "economy," Supreme Court justices did a shot
At the same time, Al Gore delivered "State of My Condo" speech to his two kitties
Nobody passed out
Intern from Clinton's last State of the union still under podium
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Bush was introduced by the "Let's get ready to rumble" guy

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It was full of coded threats at Belgium

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Quaker State Motor Oil didn't pay for all those mentions -- the President just felt very strongly about it

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Secret Service frisked everyone at the door to make sure no pretzels got in

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Plan to stimulate the economy included printing more McDonaldland coupons

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"Axis of Evil" includes Iran, Iraq and Hasslehoff

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