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Friday, February 01, 2002

Top Ten Highlights Of Dave Letterman's Career
  
March 27th, 1995: Hosts Academy Awards to glowing reviews
April 13th, 1994: Edges out Andy Rooney as "Crankiest Television Personality"
February 21st, 2000: Returns from so-called "heart surgery" with new nose, fuller lips and tighter rump
June 10th, 1999: After the show Dave waits for a heckler in the alley outside the theater and beats him to death with his bare hands
June 16th, 1993: Third wife Angela Lansbury convinces Dave to move to CBS
May 6th, 1985: David Cougar Letterman becomes simply David Letterman
November 1st, 1986: The show is canceled as news of Dave's shoplifting arrest is made public
August 26th, 1987: During a nine-week contract dispute, the part of "Dave" is played by Aamco spokesman James Brolin
March 14th, 1994: Due to backstage mix-up, show coffee replaced with Sambuca. Letterman asks Henry Kissinger to sit on his lap
January 28th, 2002: Thanks the Lord he finally stops whining about Oprah
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February 28th, 1994: When a Stupid Human Trick goes awry, Dave gets bitten in the ass by a monkey

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September 4th, 1983: Takes night off, sees "Cats" for first of what will become 172 performances

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