CBS Logo

Thursday, December 12, 2002

Top Ten Signs Santa Hates You
  
Your stocking is ticking
Every kid gets a candy cane, you get a ball of rusty barbed wire
He brings you a new car -- right through the living room wall
His expression doesn't seem to be "jolly" so much as "seething and vengeful"
FBI bursts into your house saying, "We got a tip from Santa Claus you're hiding Mullah Omar"
You're being stalked by an elf hitman
You spend ten minutes telling him what you want -- he says, "Oh, I'm sorry, were you talking to me?"
Only item he leaves: a note reading "Your wife was great"
"Gift" he just gave you -- 2 weeks on a Disney cruise with Trent Lott
His distinctive laugh: "Ho, ho, go screw yourself"
·

Sorry! No Top Ten Extras delivered today.

"Late Show" Rewind: Week of July 27, 2009
Adam, Katie, Eric, Amy, Mark and more. All the best LS highlights from the week of July 27, 2009.
 Watch now
Regis's Big Show Idea
Regis & Dave? Find out what Regis wants to do at the end of every show.
 Watch now
Part 1, July 31, 2009
 Watch now
Dave Matthews Band (II)
 Watch now
Print Send to a friend

Advertisement