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Monday, December 16, 2002

Top Ten Ways Trent Lott Is Preparing For The Holidays
  
Making a list of bigoted remarks and checking it twice
Fill out membership form to the Augusta National Golf Club
Trying to keep track of all the people calling to say they can't make it to his Christmas party
Pray for peace and happiness for everyone...well, almost everyone
Reminding friends to "keep quiet about the old days"
Dipping his foot in delicious eggnog before putting it in his mouth
Inviting media to "traditional Lott family Kwanzaa parade"
Call jet propulsion laboratories in Pasadena -- ask how much damn force his hair is generating
Joining Eminem to record album of hateful Christmas duets
Work on next year's apologies
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