DAVETV If you could look at only one thing on the Internet, DaveTV would be the obvious choice. What other so-called "website" lets you watch LATE SHOW Highlights, Comedy Clips, Slideshows, Stupid Trick clips and The Tony Mendez Show?
TOP TEN LIST You know it, you love it, you can't live without it: the revolutionary comedy bit that won Dave the Nobel Peace Prize. Check out the latest Top Ten List here.
TOP TEN ARCHIVES Old Top Ten Lists never die, they just get archived. The Top Ten Archives is searchable by date and keyword. Also, please note that the word "archives" contains the word "chives."
TOP TEN CONTEST So you think you're as funny as Dave's writers? Or maybe you just enjoy wasting time at work? See if you've got the chops to win a great prize in our weekly Top Ten Contest.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
TOP TEN SEARCH Search Results.
WAHOO GAZETTE LATE SHOW staffer Mike McIntee gives you a daily show summary and the behind-the-scenes lowdown with his daily Wahoo Gazette. So much juicy inside information that you'll say "Wahoo!"
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
THE WAHOO GAZETTE ARCHIVE Mike McIntee's popular Wahoo Gazette is archived here in the aptly- named Wahoo Gazette Archive. You can search by date, keyword, or show number, or even Dave's tie pattern (coming June 2012).
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Top Ten President Bush Excuses For Not Finding Weapons of
Mass Destruction
"We've only looked through 99% of the country"
"We spent entire budget making those playing cards"
"Containers are labeled in some crazy language"
"They must have been stolen by some of them evil
X-Men mutants"
"Did I say Iraq has weapons of mass destruction? I
meant they have goats"
"How are we supposed to find weapons of mass
destruction when we can't even find Cheney?"
"Still screwed up because of Daylight Savings Time"
"When you're trying to find something, it's always in
the last place you look, am I right, people?"
"Let's face it -- I ain't exactly a genius"
"Geraldo took them"
·
"Saddam's as good at hiding Anthrax as I am at hiding
Gore ballots"
·
"Not to change the subject, but did you catch
American Idol tonight?
·
"Seriously, can you believe how mean Simon was to Clay?"
·
"The weapons are in a room that's being guarded by a
big, mean dog"
·
"How 'bout I give you a nice fat tax cut and you stop
with these nosy questions?"
·
"Every time we get close, we gotta stop what we're
doing to take Cheney to the hospital"
"Late Show" Rewind: Week of July 27, 2009 Adam, Katie, Eric, Amy, Mark and more. All the best LS highlights from the week of July 27, 2009.
