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Monday, August 25, 2003

Top Ten Reasons The National Crime Rate Is Down
  
Dozens of boxes of crime reports were stolen
Thanks to NAFTA, much of America's crime now committed in Mexico
Go on a shooting rampage and miss an all-new episode of "Sex and the City"? Yeah, right!
Why steal a DVD player from Circuit City when their prices are so low, they're practically giving them away!
O.J. verdict taught the world if you commit a crime, it cuts into golf
I don't know...something to do with Mars?
Crooks know they'll get caught just like Osama or Saddam
Most of the good stuff's already been stolen
Winona hasn't gone "shopping" for her fall wardrobe yet
All the losers and deadbeats are in California running for governor
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