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Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Top Ten Questions For The Fema Director Application
  
"Are you able to convey a false sense of security?"
"What percentage of your resume is fabricated?"
"In a crisis, which state or local officials would you blame?"
"What are your plans after you resign?"
"Do you mind if the last guy left the office smelling like Arabian horses?"
"Which is most serious: A disaster, a catastrophe, or a dis-astrophe?"
"Does Robert Blake dating again count as an emergency?"
"Can the president easily add '-ie' to your last name to form a nickname?"
"Can you screw up bad enough to take the heat off the president's mistakes?"
"Michael Brown...Idiot or moron?"
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"What's the deal with Sean Penn?"

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"If a tornado and an earthquake strike at the same time, which do you ignore first?"

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"Can you please list any previous hurricanes we may contact as references?"

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"Can you get us free tickets to horse shows?"

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"Do you consider yourself ineffectual or incompetent?"

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