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Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Top Ten Ways United States Automakers Can Increase Sales
  
"How 'bout a car horn that plays 'My Humps'"
"Rig GPS screens to display Cinemax after dark"
"Switch gas and brake pedals to make driving more exciting"
"Zero down! Zero interest! Zero payment until after the bird flu pandemic!"
"Cars come with monkey that keeps an eye on your blind spot"
"Less rack, more pinion"
"Bumpers that make comical 'boing' sound"
"Find a way to make objects in mirror appear even closer"
"Enhance lovemaking with vibrating backseat"
"Fill airbags with delicious butterscotch pudding"
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"When inserting gas nozzle into car have the car say sharky phrases like, 'That's what I'm talking about'"

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"Install inflatable Burt Reynolds so drivers can re-enact scenes from 'Smokey and the Bandit'"

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"Rename the exhaust pipe the 'peppy' pipe"

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"Goodbye Buick, hello Buick Regis"

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"Find a way to get them things to run on gravy"

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