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Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Eating At Taco Bell
  
"Are my affairs in order?"
"Why is the counter kid wearing a hazmat suit?"
"Will the hot sauce kill the bacteria?"
"Is this how they poisoned that Russian spy?"
"Do I really want to succumb to a taco-related death?"
"Should I go somewhere safer for lunch like Fallujah?"
"Will this help me meet the recommended E.coli daily requirement?"
(No number 3 -- writer ate a bad chalupa)
"What would Kristie Alleyy do?"
"Wait -- when was Taco Bell not tainted with E.coli?"
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"Should I pay the extra 89 cents and get the insurance?"

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"Is it worth driving an extra half-mile to go to a fast food place where I won't die?"

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"Have I notified my next of kin about my lunch plans?"

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"Why are all the customers hooked up to IVs?"

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"Do I want to appear in the newspaper under the headlines, 'Area Man Clings to Life'?"

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