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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Top Ten Jerry Lewis Excuses
 Top Ten   
"Rehearsing for my new film 'The Nutty Terrorist'"
"Haven't been myself since Lindsay Lohan went lesbian"
"I'm Batman"
"No shampoo on planes I understand, but guns? What is this, Damascus?"
"Was whacked out on some stuff I got from Amy Winehouse"
"Confused myself with Jerry Lee Lewis"
"How else do I open those airline peanuts?" Still a reference, people
"I was told this was a roast"
"Just found out I'd been seated next to Andy Dick"
"Sorry, I thought I put the gun in my schlamaaaaaaven"
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"Planned on shooting screen if in-flight movie starred the Wayans brothers"

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"I'm 82 -- I thought it was a can opener"

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"Why you all up in J. Lew's grill?"

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"Okay, let's not make a federal case out of taking a gun on a plane"

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Just came from holding up a liquor store"

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"American airport security just doesn't get my gun-carrying genius the way French airport security does"

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