DAVE'S CATALOGS: Holiday Season is fast approaching which means loaded mailboxes of gift catalogs. Dave is no different. He brought in a handful of the catalogs that reach his mailbox this time of year and according to Dave, the catalogs get odder and odder each year. Some of this year's catalogs:
#1. This catalog takes the mystery out of fancy candy: "Godiva half-eaten chocolates." To get this photo of half-eaten chocolates, writers segment producer Jeremy Weiner took it upon himself to perform the chore of eating halves of all the chocolates in the Godiva box.
#2. Here's the new Harry & David Catalog: (In the corner of the magazine you can see this feature tease.) "Every fruit has been licked by Harry and/or David."
#3. Dave has no idea what the Eddie Bauer was going for here: "Eddie Bauer for People with Long Left Arms." We see a guy on the cover with a really long left arm. Dave thinks the people at Bauer are simply trying to move their irregular merchandise. I used to buy irregular merchandise for myself. It fit perfect.
#4. The Crate and Barrel catalog. On the cover we see a set of Piazza Chairs. In the small print reads, "Actual Size." If we're in need of editing tonight, this one is going out first.
#5. Here's an odd marketing twist from the Hanes Hosiery folks: "New Over-The-Head Hosiery for Convenience Store Robbers." The secret to marketing: Find a need - fill a need.
#6. The new Fall catalog from Orvis: "Check out our Bridal Registry."
#7. IKEA is doing all they can to lower customer expectations with this catalog: "Featuring photos of what you'll actually receive in the mail." A confused man confusingly holds up a chair leg that confuses him. Dave directs our attention to the confused guy. Who is it? Pete, from Research.
#8. Have you seen the new Target catalog? Guess who's now working there? Yup, it's former Vice-President Al Gore with an armful of Target goods. Here's some inside dope: We see Al Gore dressed in a Target apron holding an assortment of Target items. Actually, the graphic department put Al Gore's head on the body of a Late Show staffer who was dressed as a Target employee. Who did they get to play the body-double of the chubby and tubby Al Gore? The decision went something like this: "We need somebody that's chubby and tubby to play Al Gore. What's Mike's extension?"
#9. A catalog for Omaha Steaks roadkill clearance sale. No need to pound the meat. It's already done for you!
#10. Here's something really unnecessary: It's Morley Safer's Secret. The print on the cover of Morley Safer's Secret is much like the print on the cover of the Victoria's Secret magazine. Dave opens the catalog to find photos of Morley dressed in the frilly splendor of dainty negligees and teddys. I agree with Dave. This is something that is really unnecessary. Morley Safer in a nighty looks a lot like J. Edgar Hoover.
#11. Looking for a tent? Look at the L.L. Bean catalog. On the cover you see a tent. In the small print: "Perfect for hot wilderness sex." The tent idea was intriguing but the Morley Safer's Secret catalog sort of killed the mood.

ETHAN HAWKE: He's in the #1 movie in the country, "Training Day." It stars Ethan and Denzel Washington. That reminds me, Denzel should be coming to the program in a couple weeks. He always seems to show up on our show during the World Series. Ethan says Denzel is the best actor he's ever worked with. Duh, Hello Ethan! Are you forgetting about "Reality Bites"? Swoosie Kurtz?

Ethan is also appearing in an off-Broadway play called "The Late Henry Moss." Matinees are tough. Half the audience needs to adjust their hearing aids during the First Act. Between an off-Broadway play and the #1 movie in the country, Ethan somehow finds the time to keep Uma happy.

JUDITH MILLER: She a correspondent for "The New York Times" and author of the best-selling book, "Germs: Biological Weapons and America's Secret War." Dave wants to know all about the Anthrax. Judith explains that Anthrax is the perfect "poison" - it is durable, easy to transport, and it sticks around a long time. How can you get Anthrax? By growing it or buying some at the Germ Store. They probably got a good price during the Columbus Day sales. The book, "Germs" came out at just the right time, much to the delight of her and her publisher.

QUINCY JONES: Winner of 26 Grammy Awards. Quincy had his orchestra with him to play "Soul Bossa Nova." "Soul Bossa Nova?" Never heard of it? Yes, you have. You know it as the theme to "Austin Powers." I'm really looking forward to Macy Gray on Thursday's show, just to get this "Soul Bossa Nova" song out of my head. I'll be "singing" it for the next 24 hours.
Impress your friends: The next time you hear the theme to "Austin Powers," say, "Oh! The Soul Bossa Nova.!"
And then when you hear the theme to the Lone Ranger, say, "Oh! The William Tell Overture!"

And that was our show for Wednesday October 17, 2001. WAHOO WRITE-BACK

Yesterday I wondered why if Eastern Michigan University were going to nickname themselves after a bird, why the Eagle and not the Emu? Get it? Eastern Michigan University --- EMU?
This from Kath Creel of Sydney
"Hello Mike, you wrote in Wahoo, '..why didn't they pick the Emu? Get it? Eastern Michigan University - EMU. Just wondering.' Well, the Emu is peaceful, timid and capable of running at considerable speed to elude attackers. Excluding the ostrich, the emu is the largest of all birds with a height of 6 ft and a weight of 130 lb. Emus are long-lived, curious and usually docile toward humans. Eastern Michigan University in comparison to Ball State played like Emus, but I don't think it relects well on the Emu."

Charles Lapo from Denver wants to add this:
"I was attending nearby University of Michigan when I heard about the EMU name controversy. The student body voted overwhelmingly for the EMU Emus, but they were overruled by the administration. Doesn't that just make you sick?
Keep up the good work and the medication,
Charles"

I guess I'm not the first to think of the EMU Emu's.

SOMETHING ABOUT TUESDAY'S SHOW: We played Payphone Trifecta. Dave, Paul, and Rupert call the phonebank at the corner of Broadway and 53rd. The first person on the street to answer the ringing phone wins. Dave adds a little something to the game: The person must answer the phone with the "Phrase that Pays." The "Phrase that Pays" is "I'm living in a powderkeg and I'm giving off sparks."
This from Wahoo Reader, Kristin Conn of Taylor Univeristy.

"Hi Mike, Great job on the Wahoo, as usual. I have a little information about the phrase that pays, 'I'm living in a powder keg and giving off sparks.' When I heard it I thought it sounded familiar, and finally figured out it was from the Bonnie Tyler song 'Total Eclipse of the Heart.' Coincidentally enough, I heard the song today and it confirmed my suspicions. I also heard that this song was featured on the soundtrack for 'Bandits,' a movie that Dave recently said he saw. Maybe that is why he thought of this particular phrase. Just some more speculation from Taylor University.
Sincerely,
Kristin Conn"

And now you know a little more about the Phrase That Pays.

WAHOO SPORTS PAGE

I'm changing my argument over the Jason Giambi throwing error on the pickoff attempt on Chuck Knoblauch. I just realized that Knoblauch was actually charged with a "caught stealing" but safe on the error. Here's my new argument. I'm willing to give Giambi an error on that play. A good throw by Giambi would have resulted in Knoblauch being out. And on a bad throw from a catcher on a steal attempt I'm willing to forgive and not charge him with an error since a steal is a bang-bang play. So far I'm in accordance with the official scoring of Major League baseball: an error on the first baseman; no error on the catcher. Now how about this: charging a catcher an error for a bad throw on an attempted steal following a pitchout? I'm trying to equate the throw from a catcher following a pitchout to the throw from a first baseman following a pickoff attempt with the runner going. Does this make any sense? Why isn't a catcher given an error on a bad throw following a pitchout? You may discuss this amongst friends within the Letterman newsgroup. For some reason, I don't picture any of you responding to this in the newsgroup, so let me put it another way: Let's say Barney Rubble is trying to steal second base. There is a pitchout and catcher Fred Flintstone throws to second. The throw is wild and Mr. Slate has to go far off the base just to make the catch. A good throw would have nailed Barney. Should Fred be charged with an error?

I just received something I ordered off the internet. I should see results in 3 weeks.

I'm watching the Yankee/Mariner game right now. 9th inning. Alphonso Soriano just hit a ball off the left field wall. His "anticipation" of it being a home run results in his going into a home run trot. It turns out not a home run. It hits off the wall. Soriano only makes it to 1st. The sure double is just a single. 9th inning, up by 2 runs, the American League Championship Series - Alphonso Soriano does not hustle. He ends up at 1st instead of 2nd. That is so "OTHER" team. This is not the Yankees. I don't remember a Yankee ever doing that in the postseason.
Soriano just stole 2nd base. He stole on a pitchout. The catcher made a bad throw. Score it a stolen base - no error on the catcher. The stolen base does not make up for Soriano's lack of hustle.
It is now two outs. David Justice is up. Soriano is on 2nd. He should be on third. Justice singles to right. Soriano races home. The throw to the plate is late. Soriano scores and Justice goes to 2nd on the throw.
This is an example of the Yankee "luck" they've been blessed with these past 5 years. If Soriano was on 3rd where he should have been, there would have been no throw home on the single and Justice would have been on 1st. Instead, due to Soriano's lack of hustle to open the inning, he is at 2nd base for Justice's hit, scores, and Justice is at 2nd instead of 1st because of the throw home.
Bernie Williams makes the final out, stranding Justice at 2nd. No harm done.

Bottom of the 9th. Yanks up by 2. Two outs. FOX announces the Play of the Day is Paul O'Neil's 2-run homerun. WHY CAN'T FOX WAIT? Boone hits a single. The tying run is at the plate. Edgar Martinez is up. If he hits a home run, THAT will be the Play of the Game. Why can't FOX wait one more minute to make the announcement? The game isn't over yet.
In the 1986 World Series, Game 6, the network covering the Series gave the Series MVP to Boston Red Sox 2nd baseman Marty Barrett. It was the bottom of the 9th inning. The Mets were down by 3 runs. Of course, the Mets won that game, won the next game, and Marty Barrett was no longer the Series MVP. The Network wanted to be first, it didn't care if it was right.
Edgar Martinez grounds out. Yankees win. Paul O'Neil's home run is the Play of the Day.

Thursday's game: Mussina vs. Garcia. I like the Yankees again. I like every pitching matchup for the Yankees in this series.