It's the beginning of a certain Late Show tradition tonight as we head over to Rupert's for the lighting the Hello Deli Christmas Tree. How long has this tradition been around? Rupert, thinking quick on his feet, says, "Uhh, this is the first year." It's a beautiful tree, measuring 10 feet tall by 5 feet round. It is 8-ears-old and weighs nearly 23 pounds. It is a Frazier Fir and is adorned with 500 multi-color bulbs on 250 feet of wire, 184 sausages on a 90-foot link, and is covered with 6 pounds of assorted deli meat. The hours of illumination will run daily from 7:00 AM to 5:30 PM. It will be closed on Christmas. With a drumroll from Anton, the big moment is about to arrive. Rupert bends down and slowly plugs in the tree. Shazam! It's Christmas lights! I wanted to stand up and start singing "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing." The Lighting of the Hello Deli Christmas Tree promises to be a Late Show tradition for as long as we continue to broadcast. Or until we can think of something better to do.

QUEST TO GUEST:
Oprah Log: Day 21 - "Did not hear from Oprah."
Dave phones Art hoping against hope that maybe, perhaps, hopefully, Oprah had called. Art tells Dave, "Nope. She hadn't." To assist in achieving his goal, Dave practices the art of visualization. He visualizes himself sitting with Oprah on her program. So strong is Dave's visualization powers that I was able to visualize his being on the program, too. Did it work for you?

It was not all bad news for Dave today, though. Larry King called him. Come to think of it, maybe it was all bad news. Sally Jesse Raphael phoned yesterday, Ricki Lake called earlier in the week, as well as Jerry Springer. Dave suggests Oprah better be careful. Dave is getting to be in demand. But it still is discouraging for Dave. It's beginning to wear him down psychologically. Whenever Dave gets real down, he thinks of the words Yankee great Yogi Berra once said: "It ain't Oprah till it's Oprah."

This is a Paul's cue.
"It Ain't Oprah 'til It's Oprah," accompanied by Lady Pechena and the Late Show Gospel Choir.

"Everyday you ask Art, 'did you hear from Oprah?' Everyday, he says, 'Noprah.'
But Dave don't be discouraged,
You might be going to Chicago
Appearing on the Oprah show.
Don't worry about Osama,
Take a plane with me and yo mama.
Dave, let's go, cause in the words of Yogi Berra
Which I feel compelled to shara.

Oh, it ain't Oprah 'til it's Oprah.
It ain't Springer till someone lands a zinger.
It ain't Ricki till there's some chick with a hicky.
It ain't Maury till that transsexual love story.
But it could be Sally Jesse,
Or Ananda, that new babe I'm so fonda.
When Jenny Jones trots out that male exotic dancer,
Turn to Montel cause you can tell
He'll have one answer.
Dave, it ain't Oprah 'til it's Oprah."

Everything sounds better when sung by a Gospel Choir.

TOP TEN: "Items On The Guy's Christmas List" - We put a camera on some guy in the audience, single him out, get a still shot, and then Dave reads the list.
#9. Book: "Things to do by yourself on New Year's Eve."
#2. Gift certificate for the surgery he's read about in men's magazines.
#1. An affordable but competent lawyer to sue Letterman's ass for this top ten list.

When we do a top ten list like this, making fun of someone in the audience, Dave will usually pick on someone during the opening monologue. The camera will key in on the guy so everyone is familiar with him. This way when the top ten list comes up later in the show, everybody is delighted that the list is about their "old familiar friend." I'm not sure if Dave focused on this guy during the monologue. I was busy counting the sausages on the Hello Deli Christmas Tree at the time.

Every year something goes haywire at the lighting of the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree and this year was no different. With the amount of security present and for the number of years of this tradition, you would think the people at the Rockefeller Center would be able to avoid these mishaps. Lucky for us, we were able to capture tonight's chaos on video. We go to a clip to see the last seconds before the lighting, the lights going on, and then a huge donkey walking in front of the tree, knocking it over. Why didn't someone stop the donkey before it got near the tree? Probably thought it was with the Radio City Christmas Show, between shows.

What's the big surprise tonight? It's Paul's 52nd birthday. Dave instructs Paul to play himself a nice Happy Birthday song as the girls wheel out a lovely sheet cake. A surprised Paul was able to play Happy Birthday just like that, at a second's notice. The guy's a master. Happy Birthday, Paul.

NOAH WYLE: From the "E.R." show. I've never seen it. There has been times I've wanted to but then I would never be able to say, "I've never seen it."
Noah says he spent Thanksgiving with his wife at his ranch in California. For the meal, they made 'Al Roker's Mother's Sweet Potato Poon." (I hear it's good. It has a nice tang.) Of course, Dave and Paul had some fun with the name of the dish which I will leave up to your imagination. To find the recipe for Al Roker's Mother's Sweet Potato Poon, check out the Today Show website

Noah also went to Spain recently. Asks Dave, "How was the Spanish poon?" Later, Noah talks about growing up in L.A. As a kid, he was picked on quite a bit, by two guys in particular. Their names are Luis and DaVonne. They always wanted Noah's lunch money. They didn't demand it. It was more of a suggestion. (Is that still a crime?) Things are so much more laid back in L.A. than in NYC.

GEORGE MILLER: I always love when George Miller is on. I look forward to seeing what sweater he's wearing and which corduroy pants. Hey, what can I say? I'm a slave to fashion. George will be performing at the Riviera in Las Vegas around Christmas time, so if you're in the area, check it out.

Not too long ago George got kicked out of Starbucks and he ain't happy about it. He's not mad at all Starbucks, just the one at the corner of 26th and Wilshire. Over the years, he's spent over $5,000 buying coffee at this place. (I guess he's been going there for a couple weeks now.) Anyway, he's sitting there reading a day-old paper and an actor who plays a Starbucks attendant in real life tells George he has to leave. George refuses, telling the guy something like, "Oh yeah!" George tells the guy if he wants him to leave, he'll have to call the cops. So the actor/attendant actually calls the cops and gets thrown out. George complains to the Starbuck's district manager and the manager's advice is, "We would be more comfortable if you went to another Starbucks." Yes, after getting thrown out of a place for no reason, I certainly would want them to be "more comfortable." The worse part about all this, says George, is "where am I going to find another Starbucks to go to?" My favorite line of the whole night, my laugh-out-louder, is when George described himself as not a tough guy. "I was once beat up by Marvin Hamlisch," said George.

CAROLE KING: Carole sings a song from her new CD with the same name, "Love Makes The World." During the break, Carole sang some of her hits from her "Tapestry" album. Is there a person in America over 40 who did not own that album? It still works for me.

And that was our show for Wednesday November 28, 2001. WAHOO EXTRA

Tonight's the lighting (Wednesday night) of the Rockefeller Christmas Tree. I was a little surprised that it was this early in the year, expecting it to be in early December. Late Show film coordinator Rick Scheckman, whom we at the show like to call Rick Scheckman, said the reason for the lighting tonight is because it is now a big television production and NBC wants to get it on during Sweeps. This made me mad at Rick Scheckman. Why? Because he thought of it before me!

Denise (wife) ran out of checks not too long ago and so had to reorder. She usually gets the checks with a seascape or the country mountains motif. This time she ordered a floral decor for the checks but for some reason she received the "In memory of Dale Earnhardt" checks. Dale passed away in the spring during competition in a Nascar race. She knows nothing about auto racing, nor about Dale. Now whenever she makes out a check at the store, the cashier will somberly say, "It's a shame about Dale, isn't it?" Denise will sadly nod her head.

I watched some Islander hockey last night, the first time I've watched Islander hockey for any length of time in 15 years. I used to be a big Islander fan during their first 5 years, 1974-1975 being the best. Late in the game, the Islanders kill a double minor penalty to stay tied with the Washington Capitals. Then I saw something I've never seen before watching a hockey game -- the director cut away to a crowd shot during play! The Islander fans were cheering because their team killed off a power play and we get to see them cheering while the Capitals are rushing down the ice. We cut back to live action as Washington swarms the net. Hockey is TOO FAST for crowd shots. Please! Don't worry. I don't watch hockey that much where I'll complain about this every week but I had to tell you about the crowd shot during live action at a hockey game. It happens now even in hockey.

Smell that? I can. It's vacation coming. And it's getting closer.