REJECTED COMMERCIAL CHARACTERS: When you see the Jolly Green Giant, you think of frozen vegetables. When you see Tony the Tiger? Sugar Frosted Flakes, of course. These are very successful commercial characters. Tonight, Dave had some of the lesser successful commercial characters. F'rinstance:
- Mr. Clean on Rogaine.
- The Marlboro Dough Boy
- Copper with his 26 wives
- Knocked-up Mrs. Butterworth
- Otis, the Self-Devouring Steer
- Purdue Chicken's Sam N' Ella
- The Carpal-Tunnel Hamburger Helper Hand
- The Keebler Elf Who's Too Fat To Get Out of the Tree
- Edmund, The Kid Who Gets Beat Up Because He Wears Glasses
- The Land O' Lakes Lactose-Intolerant Indian Maiden
- The Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate Bad Girl.

THE HONORABLE RUDOLPH GIULIANI: New York City's finest mayor. Dave wants to know if the Mayor called Jason Giambi to convince him to come to New York. After some umm's and uhh's, Giuliani admits to making the call. Giuliani repeats what he said to Giambi and it was a darn good sales pitch. I'm sure the $120 million from Boss Steinbrenner had something to do with Jason's coming here, too.
Dave then asks about the new stadiums for the Mets and Yankees. Is it true? Rudy says it's true... almost. The Mets can use an upgrade from the dump they play in but please, leave the Yankee Stadium alone. Giuliani says he'll be working right up to the last second (his final term ends at 11:59:59 PM Monday night) to get the deal done for the two new ballparks. You could see the disappointment in Dave's face when Rudy said the Yankee Stadium would be going too. The deal? The Yankees would pay half for their new stadium and the Mets would pay half for theirs. I wish I had Rudy with me when I was looking to buy a new house.
What will Rudy be up to after his 2nd term as mayor? He's opening a consultant firm (he'll be giving advice), he's finishing a book and will be writing another after that, he'll give speeches and keep a hand in politics.
Thursday morning Rudolph Giuliani gave his farewell speech from St. Paul's Chapel near Ground Zero.
RUDY FACTS:
- He's been on our show 21 times.
- During his two terms, the NYC crime rate dropped 65%.
- St. Paul's Chapel was dedicated in 1766 and is the oldest public building in continuous use in Manhattan.
- George Washington worshipped in St. Paul's Chapel

Dave says how the Mayor gave the people of New York City the strength to carry on after the terrible tragedy of September 11. Giuliani corrects Dave, saying how it was the people of New York; the rescue workers, the firemen, the policemen, the every day people who kept on keeping on, it was they who gave him strength.

Before Rudy became Mayor, New York City was considered unmanageable and ungovernable. How did Rudy change this? He put a sign on his desk that read "I'm responsible." When you think of it, it's better than Truman's sign of "The Buck Stops Here." The Buck Stops Here doesn't admit responsibility. From Day One, it was responsibility and accountability that's been stressed from the Giuliani Administration. Also, he took care of the little things; squeegie guys, illegal peddlars, noise violators, turnstile jumpers, etc. This sent out a message that he was getting things under control. He began by taking care of the things he could take care of. He also tackled the corruption at the Jacob Javits Center, at the South Street Seaport, even at the San Genarro Festival. He cleaned up 125th Street in Harlem. Then on Tuesday... Some complained of his micromanaging but I never could understand the complaint. He wants to know everything that's going on and he wants it fixed. What's wrong with that? He even tried to cut down on the Jaywalking. When a New York City Mayor has time to fight jaywalking, you know the city's problems have really diminished. In the third segment, Dave introduces a clip of Rudy's first appearance on our program. It was July 26, 1994, Show #201. We found Rudy out on 53rd Street filling a pothole in front of the entrance to the offices of the Ed Sullivan Theater. The day before, Show #200, Dave complained about the pothole and went outside and shoved a cue card down into it. The next day we received a call from the Mayor's Office letting us know it would be fixed later in the day and the Mayor himself would be there overseeing the project. That night, we saw our hands-on Mayor fixing the problem.
I went out too 53rd Street today and the pothole has not returned.
To close out the segment, Dave congratulates and thanks Rudy for doing an incredible job.
Giuliani stops Dave and says, "You do a great job for the City of New York. Your decision to stay in New York was made when this city wasn't the city it is today." Dave answers this with, "Well, the only other city in consideration was Trenton." Dave and Rudy laughed. For some reason I sensed Giuliani thinking, "Hmmm. The Mayor of Trenton. Sounds interesting."
Good bye Mr. Mayor. Come back soon.

P.O.D.: From the CD, Satellite, P.O.D. sang "Youth of the Nation." Accompanying P.O.D. was the Brooklyn Youth Chorus. This inspiring song was sung by a band that calls themselves, "Payable On Death."

And that was our show for Thursday, December 27, 2001. Don't go anywhere. The Friday Wahoo is next. It's a great day. Let's play two. Friday, December 28, 2001 / Show #1733

Lauren Graham; and Eddie Brill.
PLUS: The CBS Mailbag; Pat and Kenny Read the Oprah Transcripts; more support for Dave from the Today Show; and a special Rockin' Top Ten from Dick Clark.

CBS MAILBAG: Before Dave starts the reading of the letters, he introduces our favorite Stage Manager Biff Henderson to explain what he does with the map and his pointer. Just as Biff begins to answer, Dave can hear a shout from the Control Room from someone's headset on stage. Mayhem ensues.
LETTER #1: From Christopher Callaghan of Manchester, New Hampshire.
"Dear Dave, Do they televise your show in Afghanistan?"
Yes, they do and we have a clip of how the show is broadcast in Afghanistan. (Comedy ensues.)
LETTER #2: From Dan Clawson of Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada: "Hi Dave, Did you like "Lord of the Rings?"
Dave hasn't seen it but we have a staff member who claims to be "Lord of the Rings." (Laughs follow)
LETTER #3: From Cathy Mills of New York City.
"Dave, My husband and I had our first date on your show on December 15, 1999. Can you invite us back for this December 15th?"
We did just that as we go to videotape to see what happened two weeks ago. (Result? Hilarity)
(ed.note: December 15, 1999 - Guests: Danny DeVito and Harry Smith. DeVito talks about Schlitten. Campaign 2000 - Hillary not yet booked; Dave thanks Will Lee for the stone crabs; Mahir; Late Show Christmas Cards; and Hockey Players shoot at a Dave cutout.)
LETTER #4: From Jon Farner of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Biff has some trouble finding Milwaukee. He's no Magellan but eventually Biff does find Milwaukee.
"Dear Dave, Do you think they'll ever catch Osama bin Laden?"
Dave admits to not being the guy who could answer that question but we have with us someone who can. (Hello Ha Ha)

And that was our CBS Mailbag.

PAT AND KENNY READ OPRAH TRANSCRIPTS: Great ash on Kenny. Oprah introduces a celebrity guest. Today's guest: Tom Cruise.

TOP TEN: SIGNS YOU'RE AT A LAME NEW YEAR'S PARTY - (Well, you're there. That's one obvious sign.)
And here to present tonight's Top Ten list, the host of Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve, Dick Clark.
DICK CLARK FUN FACTS:
- Dick Clark broadcast his first New Year's Eve celebration in Philadelphia in 1959.
- This will be Dick Clark's 30th consecutive year of hosting the Times Square New Year's Eve ball-drop.
- His "American Bandstand" holds the record as television's longest running music/variety program.
- Inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
- A member of the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences Hall of Fame.
- Received the Distinguished Service Award from the National Association of Broadcasters
- Winner of 6 Emmy Awards, A Lifetime Achievement Award, and a Grammy.
- Host of my favorite show, "The Other Half."

OK, kids. You know Friday's Top Ten category. You know it will be presented by Dick Clark. Get started and see if you can come up with something better than we did. Get cracking and list it in the Letterman newsgroup. Ready, GO!

Plus, you won't want to miss this Top Ten. Dick Clark gives his famed salute at the top.

LAUREN GRAHAM: From the WB's Gilmore Girls. I think she's one of Gilmore's girls.

EDDIE BRILL: Comedian. Those who follow the show too closely know Eddie to be our audience warm-up guy seen before each show. Following a strong 6 minutes, Eddie sits with Dave and does a Jerry Lewis impression.

And that was our show for Friday December 28, 2001.

Have you seen Jon Voight playing Howard Cosell in Ali? From the clips and photos, he looks like Freddie Kruger.

Any day now I expect the CIA to "discover evidence" of Osama bin Laden being housed and protected in Iraq.

NEXT WEEK'S PREVIOUSLY VIEWED PROGRAM SCHEDULE:
MONDAY, DEC. 31: George Clooney; and Martha Stewart, with Jimmie Vaughn sitting in with the band.
Originally aired: November 27, 2001. Show #1717.
TUESDAY, JAN. 1: Stupid Pet Tricks; Vince Vaughn; and Faith Evans.
Originally aired: November 8, 2001. Show #1704.
WEDNESDAY, JAN. 2: Survivor Kelly Goldsmith; Ellen DeGeneres; and Dave Gorman.
Originally aired: December 10, 2001. Show #1721.
THURSDAY, JAN. 3: CBS Mailbag; Michelle Pfeiffer; and Dennis Regan.
Originally aired: December 14, 2001. Show #1725.
FRIDAY, JAN. 4: Steve Martin; Earl Scruggs and Friends.
Originally aired: November 15, 2001. Show #1709.

Good health, good wealth. Happy New Year.