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Friday, March 01, 2002
Show #1767
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
Black | White


Tom Arnold; and Nappy Roots.
PLUS: Mayor Michael Bloomberg on the Surivor show; our Attorney General John Ashcroft singing "Let The Eagle Soar"; Will It Float?; and Stephanie with photos.

Congratulations to Paul Shaffer for his Grammy win. The Category: Best Country Instrumental Performance - "Foggy Mountain Breakdown." Paul Shaffer joined the fabulous group of Earl Scruggs, Glen Duncan, Randy Scruggs, Steve Martin, Vince Gill, Marty Stuart, Gary Scruggs, Albert Lee, Jerry Douglas, and Leon Russell to garner the win. The group played "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" on our show back on November 15, 2001. This is what I wrote about that appearance:
EARL SCRUGGS AND FRIENDS: From his "Earl Scruggs and Friends" CD, the group played "Foggy Mountain Breakdown." I like the bluegrass but I must admit I do not know much about it but I knew enough that what was on stage last night was Hall of Fame quality. Joining Earl for 'Foggy Mountain Breakdown' was Harry Stinson (drums), Glenn Duncan (fiddle), Marty Stuart (mandolin), Vince Gill (electric guitar), Randy Scruggs (acoustic guitar), Steve Martin (yes, Steve Martin on banjo), Albert Lee (electric guitar), Gary Scruggs (harmonica), Jerry Douglas (dobro), Paul Shaffer (piano), and Will Lee (bass). It was one of the top performances I've seen on our stage. Others performing on the "Earl Scruggs and Friends": Elton John, Sting, Melissa Etheridge, John Fogerty, Johnny Cash, Don Henley, Dwight Yoakam, Billy Bob Thornton, Leon Russell, Travis Tritt, and Rosanne Cash. I think I'll be plunking down some dollars for this CD. I won't even try to "borrow" one here from the show. This one is worth buying."
I wonder if the Grammy voters read the Wahoo?

Speaking of Grammy quality music, how about that Attorney General! He's becoming quite the hit in the music world, especially with the ladies. Dave mentions the name "John Ashcroft" and the girls shriek with delight. Dave tells them to keep it down but the ladies can't help it. We show a clip of Mr. Ashcroft singing "Let The Eagle Soar." The girls can't help themselves.
LET THE EAGLE SOAR
"Let the eagle soar,
Like she's never soared before.
From rocky coast to golden shore,
Let the mighty eagle soar.
Soar with healing in her wings,
As the land beneath her sings:
'Only god, no other kings.'
This country's far too young to die.
We've still got a lot of climbing to do,
And we can make it if we try.
Built by toils and struggles
God has led us through."
The best part of the girls squealing with delight at the mere mention of the name John Ashcroft? Watching the Late Show audience coordinator frantically searching the audience looking for the guilty screechers.

Did you see the promo for the contestants on the new Survivor show? There's Darryl, the personal trainer. There's Tammy, the legal assistant. And Mike, the Mayor of New York City who took the month off from his job to be on a TV show. I guess that explains where he goes on his weekends.

DAVE CALLS STEPHANIE: Dave dials - no answer. Dave tries again. This time, Art answers. What was the problem, Art? Says Art: "You dialed the wrong number." Dave is forwarded to Stephanie who has photos to share. But first:
- "Turn your radio down."
- "Working hard or hardly working?"
- "Stephanie, how old are you?"

What photos does Stephanie have to share?
- Stephanie and Mary eating Chinese food. Not sure if the noodles Stephanie was eating was going in or going out?
- Steph with monkeys.
- Steph with Donny Osmond
- Steph with David Grohl of the Foo Fighters
- Steph and a slut.
- Steph with Tom Brokaw.
- Steph with Hal
- Steph with Dave's mom.


At the conclusion, Dave and Steph sing "Let The Eagle Soar" accompanied by Grammy Award winning Paul Shaffer. While the camera was on Paul, director Jerry Foley directed a nice fade to the phone lying on Dave's desk.

Back from commercial, Dave laments that Stephanie gets better guests than him.

WILL IT FLOAT?
Our third installment. Tank of water. Inanimate object. Models. Will the object float? Our announcer Alan Kalter reveals tonight's object: "It's a bowling pin."
Both Dave and Paul agree it will float. Why even raise the scrim to continue with this piece? It's obvious a bowling pin will float. Paul makes a very good point: "But if we don't raise the scrim, we don't get to look at the models." What is the outcome? Did the bowling pin float? I don't know. I was looking at the models.

TOP TEN: "Reasons I'm Proud To Be In The United States Navy"
- and to present tonight's top ten list, 10 submariners from the U.S.S. Seawolf at the Naval Submarine Base in Groton, Connecticut.
#10. Machinist's Mate Chief Andy Kuvent.
#9. Machinist's Mate First Class Dave Padgett
#8. Sonar technician third class Mike Doehring.
#7. Sonar technician first class John Hawkins
#6. Mess management specialist second class Jeffrey Lay.
#5. Machinist's mate second class Jesse Yoast.
#4. Machinist's mate second class Christopher Reed.
#3. Lieutenant Jason Biegelson.
#2. Machinist's mate fireman apprentice Chris Yacur
#1. Chief of the boat, Dean Irwin.

#5. Remember that game Battleship? We get to play it with real ships.
#2. I look sweet in uniform.

TOM ARNOLD: Dressed in all black. People are still learning that Tom Arnold is a really fun guest. Tom is engaged to be married in June to fiancé Shelby. Tom describes Shelby as honest. Says Tom: "That's important. Now we have to work on kindness." He gives an example. When Tom asks Shelby how he looks, Shelby will give an honest answer. Tom says he has no money left, and Shelby knows. This is good, says Tom, since now he knows for sure that Shelby really loves him for him and not his money. How did Tom Arnold like the Olympics? Tom's show on the Fox Sports Net, The Best Damn Sports Show PeriodTonya Harding to the Olympics as their representative. I like that idea.
Hyper Tom was once again entertaining and fun. He works for me every time.

NAPPY ROOTS: From their CD, Watermelon, Chicken and Gritz, Nappy Roots sang "Awnaw." It's not the type of music I go for but I kind of enjoyed it.

And that was our show for Thursday, February 28, 2002.

Cokie Roberts is on Friday's program. She was originally booked for Thursday but I think there is something in Tom Arnold's contract that states he cannot appear with anyone named Cokie.

HEY! We're off next week and I don't have to come in on Friday, so you're getting a double-header today. Here comes Friday's Wahoo. Friday, March 1, 2001 / Show #1768

CBS Mailbag; Cokie Roberts; and Al Lubel.
PLUS: Something new with Biff and the mailbag; more singing from our Attorney General John Ashcroft, a Top Ten list; and Al Chez on the tambourine.

CBS MAILBAG - now Biff can win valuable prizes if he finds the town on the map. The bar has been raised!
LETTER #1: From Max Gagneon of Quebec, Canada.
"Dear Dave, Have you ever been on a roadtrip?"
Making an appearance in this letter: Tony Mendez.
LETTER #2: From Bob Pierson of Red Bluff, California.
"Hi Dave, There is speculation about man on the moon being staged - that we never really went there. Is the 'Late Show with David Letterman' for real is it somehow faked?"
Making an appearance in this letter: Someone known the world over.
LETTER #3: From Clay Watkins of Sanford, Florida.
"What would the world be like if everyone looked like Paul Shaffer?"
Making an appearance: Paul.
LETTER #4: From Nilesh Banavali of New York City.
"Dear Dave, What would you do if you were made Mayor of New York City for one day?"
Making an appearance: Deputy Mayor Marc Shaw.

How did Biff do? Could he find Quebec? Red Bluff, California? Sanford, Florida? New York City?
And what does he win?

TOP TEN: Things You Don't Want To Hear At T.G.I.Friday's
Go ahead. Make up your own. See how yours compare to ours. Oh yeah, it's a video Top Ten. We had a guy pretend to be a waiter.

COKIE ROBERTS: From ABC TV's This Week with Sam Donaldson and Cokie Roberts. Enron? It's tough to analyze when everyone is lying.
John Ashcroft isn't the only U.S. Senator who can sing. He's a member of the Singing Senators, consisting of Trent Lott (R-Mississippi); Larry Craig (R-Idaho); and Jim Jeffords (Ind. - Vermont) Sadly, once Jeffords jumped the Republican wagon to the Independent party, the group broke up. Funny, I heard it was Yoko. We see a clip of the Flat Four.

AL LUBEL: comedian - Lots of talk about mom.

And that's our show for Friday, March 1. Wahoo EXTRA!

Here's something I bet you didn't know. Dyslexia? The word is actually "Lexdysia."

The movie 40 Days, 40 Nights is based on a guy who attempts to win a bet by going without physical contact with girls for the 40 days of the Lenten season. I have a similar story about my life. It too has a biblical reference. I missed out on physical contact with the opposite sex, but the timeline is based on Moses and his nomadic journey through the desert.

NEXT WEEK'S SCHEDULE OF OUR PREVIOUSLY-VIEWED PROGRAMS
MONDAY MARCH 4: Amy Brenneman; Sir Martin Rees, and Shakira. Comedy includes Celebrity Phone of Mystery.
TUESDAY MARCH 5: Regis Philbin; and Steven Wright. It's Dave's 20th Anniversary show, which includes a special Top Ten and a CBS Mailbag with a ghost in Rupert's Hello Deli.
WEDNESDAY MARCH 6: Cate Blanchett; and Timothy Treadwell. Comedy includes a plea from Alan Kalter to the new mayor and Dave is distracted right before the show.
THURSDAY MARCH 7: Bruce Willis; and Ivan Neville. Comedy includes an Alan Kalter episode.
FRIDAY MARCH 8: Merv Griffin and Phantom Planet. Comedy includes Biff Henderson's America and a special top ten.

Make your plans accordingly. See you in a week.





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