Paul is all dressed up for he's off to tape the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Induction dinner after the show. It will air on VH-1 on Wednesday night at 9:00. This year's inductees include: Gene Pitney, Brenda lee, Isaac Hayes, Chet Atkins, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, The Ramones, and The Talking Heads. Busy Paul also attended and performed at the Liza Minnelli wedding this weekend.

It's official. Dave has in his possession the Aftonbladet, signifying he is Sweden's favorite TV-Personality, Male (Non-Swedish). If you missed Monday's show and are wondering what the Aftonbladet trophy looks like, think of Squidward's house. In its shipping overseas, the Aftonbladet broke, the trophy becoming separated from its base. Dave poured his coffee into the hollow Aftonbladet and drank from it. The Stanley Cup immediately came to mind. Dave later apologized for his foible, realizing his action was not respectful to the honor in which he was bestowed. In attempt to make things better, he placed flowers into the Aftonbladet to make a lovely desk ornament.

SMALL TOWN NEWS: Actual news items from small towns across America. It's a long time favorite of Dave's, dating back to his Late Night and possibly daytime show.

ALAN KALTER REACTS TO THE LIZA MINNELLI WEDDING: Dave is still hyped over the big Liza Minnelli/what'shisname wedding that took place over the weekend. He reads from a list of celebrities who attended. I included Gina Lollobrigida on the list (yes, she was there too) just to hear Dave say her name. Back in the day, she was a bombshell! During the reading of the list, Alan, our announcer Alan Kalter ladies and gentlemen, voiced his disdain for the overblown wedding publicity. Alan storms out in disgust. The camera follows Alan to his dressing room where we expect him to let off some steam. Are we surprised when we see that Alan has a shrine to his beloved Liza filling his dressing room. Alan is not angry over the wedding, he is crestfallen. Painfully singing the words to Cabaret, Alan falls to the ground in emotional pain. He wept. Dave calls Alan back for a curtain call. Alan returns to thunderous applause. Says Dave; "I'm surprised you did that entire piece without taking your shirt off." Alan apologizes, then rips off his shirt. Everyone is happy.

TOP TEN: Things overheard at Liza Minnelli's wedding:
#4. "What do you mean you're out of prime rib? I'm Robert Goulet, damn it!"
#1. "No Miss Taylor, you're not getting married today."

SENATOR JOHN MCCAIN: from the fine state of Arizona - just before the Senator was to go on, he stepped back into the shack where I watch the show. I stand and greet the Senator, then slyly look at my NCAA basketball sheet to see who Arizona is playing next so I could make some quick "Arizona basketball" chatter. The Senator catches me looking at the sheet, points over my shoulder and says, "Arizona is going to beat Oklahoma next week." Although I had Arizona losing to Gonzaga in the pool, I made believe I've been pulling for 'Zona all along. I then congratulated him on his champion Arizona Diamondbacks and commented on what a great World Series it was. He agreed, then he was off to talk to Dave. Satisfied with my chat with the Senator, I sat back thinking what Dave does isn't so hard.

Senator McCain congratulates, then reprimands Dave for the Aftonbladet. Now the Swedes are mad at us. "You shouldn't have poured coffee into the Aftonbladet. Now the Swedes are mad at us and our north flank is now weakened." McCain said Cheney would have to travel to Stockholm to clean things up.

As a former POW, McCain explains what he thinks of our captives at Camp X-Ray? He says he is outraged at the conditions in which they must live. "They are given warm, not hot, tea!"

Senator McCain is always a good guest. I enjoyed my personal chat with him and I feel I must root for Arizona now the rest of the way, unless they face Kent State. I'm rooting for Kent State since they are from the MAAC. And while they're winning the NCAA, I hope the MAAC's Ball State wins the Not Invited Tournament (the NIT).

THE WHITE STRIPES: From their CD, "White Blood Cells," The White Stripes sang "Fell In Love With A Girl." Not only does "White Blood Cells" come in the now common CD form, it is also being released in album vinyl. I hope it comes with a needle.

And that was our show for Monday, March 18, 2002. Wahoo Extra!

Two weeks ago I was in a gymnasium and picked up a basketball. Not having shot a basketball in years, I took two practice shots and then attempted 10 free-throws. I made 7. That same weekend in the Big East semi-finals, the combined free-throw percentage of the 4 teams was 58%. How can you be surrounded by basketball your entire life and shoot only 58% from the foul line?

ANNOYING CAMERA SHOT OF THE NCAA BASKETBALL TOURNAMENT:
Close game. Team A makes a basket. Camera shot of Team A's bench standing and applauding.

It's always nice to get a second chance in life. I've always meant to see "E.T." but never got around to it. It's being re-released this weekend and it's on my kids' "to-do" list. I plan on seeing it this time.

I hope they re-release "Citizen Kane."

On my way to work this morning I thought I saw David Caruso. It turned out to be Jackie Martling.

Is there a bigger non-story than the Liza Minnelli/David Gest wedding? Not only was the wedding three days ago, most of the guests were too.