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Tuesday, March 19, 2002
Show #1773
By Michael Z. McIntee Change Text Color:
Black | White


Jon Stewart; and child prodigy, Kit Armstrong.
PLUS: Al Gore shaves; Pat and Kenny read Oprah transcripts; the Late Show Psychic Test Drive; a top ten list; and Dave sings Gene Pitney all night long.

There was a nice article in today's New York Daily News about Paul Shaffer. It was deservedly laudatory. Among other things, it mentioned his performance at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction Monday night. This put Dave into the mood for some Gene Pitney. Gene Pitney fans were delighted as Dave sang from his discography for much of the night. Dave put in a request to have Gene on the show Wednesday night. Hopefully he is available.

Yesterday we learned that Al Gore decided to shave his beard. We have a clip of results. Ouch! He must of used one of those white disposable Bics. Guaranteed to leave you cut.

THE LATE SHOW PSYCHIC TEST DRIVE: Dave mistakenly called it the Lite Show Psychic Test Drive. Since it was my blue card, I was sweating bullets till the next ACT hoping he simply misspoke and it was not a misprint. (Good news: It was not a misprint) How the Late Show Psychic Test Drive works is like this: Intuitive Deborah Lynn will be blindfolded by Rupert. He will drive her around the block in a rental car, and Deborah, through her intuitive powers will reveal the make of car. My favorite part of Deborah Lynn's appearances is when Dave asks her for the difference between a Psychic and an Intuitive. Basically, a Psychic actively trains themselves to seek information about a person's past and future. With an Intuitive, the information comes naturally. To me, an Intuitive sounds like a lazy Psychic.
When Dave informs Deborah that she will have guess the make of car, she exclaims, "I don't know makes of cars at all." Dave comforts her by saying, "That's OK. It'll come to you." She seems happy with that.
Rupert places the blindfold on Deborah and they painstakingly make it to the waiting sporty and efficient 2001, 4-door Chevy Malibu. The Chevy Malibu - it's Euru-styling makes it easy on the eyes and its rack-and-pinion steering makes it easy on the pocketbook. (Huh?)
Rupert and the blindfolded Deborah make it to auto and head down 53rd Street. We catch up with them at the corner of 54th and 8th as we see Deborah taking in the vibes. Up 54th, around to Broadway, and back to 53rd, the duo makes it back alive. Back in Rupert's Hello Deli, it is now time for Deborah to make her guess. "I got a Mazda." The confident Ms. Lynn hides her head with doubt. Sorry, Deborah, but it's a Chevy Malibu. But there are no losers in Late Show Psychic Test Drive. What do we have for Deborah? A Hello Deli deli platter and a gift certificate for a Hello Deli deli platter. And that's how we play Late Show Psychic Test Drive.

PAT AND KENNY READ OPRAH TRANSCIPTS. I'm not sure what makes this funny but this is how it works. We send for the transcripts from a recent Oprah show then have our stagehands Pat and Kenny recreate the excitement right here on our show, reading from the actual transcripts. There is no special effects, no lights, sirens, or buzzers. Just Oprah's words and the words of her guest performed by Pat and Kenny. Tonight's installment involved Oprah and her special guest, Halle Berry. Kenny played the part of Halle Berry. Pat played Oprah.
As I said before, I'm not sure what makes this so funny. It's simply Pat and Kenny reading from the Oprah transcripts. It sort of reminds me of a similar piece originated by Arte Johnson on Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In back in the late 60's, early 70's. Arte Johnson would get up in front of a podium and, all stoic and serious-like, read from actual Rock and Roll lyrics. It may not sound funny now but it was hilarious when Arte did it. He would slowly step up to the podium, as would a great orator, clear his throat and read, "You ain't nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time. You ain't nothing but a hound dog, crying all the time. Well you ain't never caught a rabbit and you ain't no friend of mine." It never failed to bring the house down. In much the same way, Pat and Kenny reading the Oprah Transcripts works in a similar manner.

TOP TEN: THINGS PEOPLE SAID AS THEY WATCHED '"BABY BOB" (a new show on CBS that premiered Monday night)
#10. "Where's the remote?"
#6. "Seriously, give me the remote or I will beat you to death."
#4. "Honey, could you check the book of Revelations for signs of the Apocalypse."

JON STEWART: From Comedy Central's The Daily Show and the soon to be released, Death to Smoochy. Jon says to Dave, "CBS is promoting your show so much during March Madness, I thought you were playing Duke." About the Liza wedding: "It was the wedding of the year...if the year was 1972." An unusual wedding? "When the Best Man has to rush back to the hotel to polish the bones of the Elephant Man, it is an unusual wedding." I saw it coming, did you? Jon talked to Bob Dylan. Bob said, "mmmbbblelem mbbblbllele."

Good, strong segment with Jon. Always fun and ready with material.

KIT ARMSTRONG: he's a boy genius! He's a college student; he's a pianist; he's a composer! When he grows up he wants to be the Piano-Playing Scientist! It's amazing how smart someone could be. In 2006, Kit wants to play all of Mozart's concertos to celebrate the 250th anniversary of his birth. Me? I plan on learning all the words to Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus."

Kit Armstrong being a composer reminds me of an old old joke.
"What's Beethoven doing now?"
Answer: "Decomposing."

And that was our show for Tuesday March 19, 2002. Wahoo EXTRA!

What was filled with intrigue a week ago now seems so obvious. Why did Dave decide to stay with CBS? Without question it's because he wanted to be affiliated with the network that broadcasts Baby Bob.

I'm real excited about this year's Academy Awards. I've seen all the movies nominated in the Animated Feature category. What will win? Will it be Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius; Monsters, Inc.; or Shrek? I would tell you but I don't want to tip off the Late Show staffers for the Oscar pool I'm running.

Got time to kill? Check out Bob Borden's website at www.bobborden.com. It's all Bob all the time - but don't let that stop you. Salute to Paul Shaffer

From Tuesday's New York Daily News:
A Pop Star Who Lets All Others Shine
By ISAAC GUZMAN
Daily News Feature Writer


If Paul Shaffer were the Wizard of Oz, he'd tell you to pay no attention to that man behind the keyboards. But when the biggest concerts go right, Shaffer is frequently the man who makes it all sound perfect.

We've seen Shaffer backing two dozen superstars at the Concert for New York City, orchestrating the Blues Brothers' romp at Super Bowl XXXI and rocking the White House at the 1999 "Concert of the Century" with such disparate acts as Eric Clapton and 'N Sync.

And even while blasting through his "nutty" and "kooky" renditions of "Hooray for Hollywood" on "The Late Show With David Letterman," Shaffer has emerged as pop's leading ringmaster.

If he hadn't been born in Canada, the faux-hepcat piano player would long ago have been dubbed "America's Bandleader."

Last night, Shaffer, 52, was again conducting pop's greatest talent, as musical director for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony at the Waldorf-Astoria. It will be broadcast tomorrow night at 9 on VH1. In just two days of rehearsals, Shaffer whipped an 18-piece band into shape, preparing the intricate arrangements behind classics such as Isaac Hayes' "Shaft" and Gene Pitney's "Town Without Pity."

Renowned for his instant recollection of just about every 20th-century pop hit, Shaffer got his start playing parties in his hometown, Thunder Bay, Ontario.

"I was always in cover bands," Shaffer says. "And I still am. Writing my own stuff was never that important to me. I just love songs - learning songs and playing them."

Shaffer has occasionally ventured into creative territory. He released two solo albums and co-wrote "It's Raining Men," a hit for the Weather Girls in 1982.

But Shaffer shines brightest when he's just out of the spotlight, working as a sideman or sidekick. His attention to detail makes complicated productions sound seamless. During rehearsal for the Hall of Fame show, he asked the string section, "Is there a gliss in 41 up to the second?"

In fact, there was no glissando in the 41st bar of the score, but Shaffer thought it would punch up the dramatic sound that Pitney wanted. So the string players - the first ever to perform at a Hall of Fame ceremony - penciled it in.

Heading into the induction, Shaffer was most worried about the notoriously ramshackle jam session. But over the last few weeks, he was witness to an even bigger drama: the battle over "The Late Show."

When Letterman moved to CBS from NBC in 1993, Shaffer and the World's Most Dangerous Band were forced to rename themselves the CBS Orchestra. With another move imminent, Shaffer fretted about disrupting his lovingly assembled group.

"I've really been having fun doing the show, which is remarkable after 20 years," he says. "And I've finally got my stage set up right with my band. So I'm very happy that things worked out the way [they] did."

Shaffer's enjoyment is evident. In rehearsals, when taking Darlene Love's part in a duet with soul legend Sam Moore, he sings so hard he turns red and starts to sweat.

"When you have the original artists in front of you, it's inspiring," he says. "For something like 'Town Without Pity,' getting to play and hear the version that I grew up with gets me off. Once we're in here, everyone brings their own energy, and I can just float on top of that."






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