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			Tuesday, March 26, 2002 Show #1776
			By Michael Z. McIntee	Change Text Color: Black \| White


	Barbara Walters; and Shannon McNally. PLUS: *"Baby Bob" spinoffs; Alan Kalter's Academy Awards Fashion Recap Retraction; a top ten list; and the Annual Rupert Jee's Hello Deli Late Show* Meatball Hunt.** Nothing breeds imitation more than success so it comes as no surprise that the Baby Bob clones are in full swing. Have you seen the recent promo they're running on CBS? "Monday at 8:30, it's the hit show everyone's talking about, 'Baby Bob!' (Baby Bob makes some lame comment) Then at 9:00, watch the hysterical 'Baby Jacque!' (Baby Jacque makes the same lame comment with a French accent) At 9:30, be sure to catch the wisecracking 'Steve the Squirrel!' (Steve the squirrel makes the same lame comment as Bob and Jacque in a squirrel accent) And then it's a special episode of '60 Minutes.' (Mike Wallace says, "I gotta take a leak" in a Bill DeLace accent.) It's all here on CBS!" Long time Late Night and Late Show viewers love this Easter tradition. I'm not sure but it may have even started during Dave's daytime show. It's the "Annual Rupert Jee's Hello Deli Late Show Meatball Hunt." I'm sure I don't have to tell you how the game is played but I'm desperate to fill up space so I will. Rupert goes outside to find a willing contestant. Rupert blindfolds the contestant and then hides 3 Hello Deli meatballs around the deli. Where will Rupert hide the meatballs? Our announcer Alan Kalter will tell the home viewers exactly where. Says Alan: "Right you are, Dave. Rupert is placing the meatballs in various hidden locations." After Rupert hides the meatballs in various hidden locations, the blindfold is removed from the contestant and he or she has 30 seconds to find as many as he or she can. It's that simple. Rupert heads outdoors and selects a Leslie form Columbus, Ohio. Leslie is a student of Ohio State University and is here in New York visiting her sister. Leslie likes to chew the gum but I have a feeling that after watching herself tonight, she may quit. Rupert blindfolds Leslie, hides the meatballs, and then removes it. 30 seconds go up on the clock and Leslie is off to the races. How does she do? She finds none. Generous Dave gives Leslie another 30 seconds. This time she ransacks the place, as much as a coed from Columbus can ransack. Once again, no luck. But don't fret because there are no losers on the Annual Rupert Jee's Hello Deli Late Show Meatball Hunt. For her work, Leslie earns a million-dollar gift certificate towards a million dollars worth of meatballs from the Hello Deli. And that's how we play the Annual Rupert Jee's Hello Deli Late Show Meatball Hunt. ALAN KALTER'S ACADEMY AWARDS FASHION RECAP RETRACTION: Alan: "Last night in a segment called, 'Alan Kalter's Academy Award Fashion Recap,' I crowned Gwyneth Paltrow tops on my best-dressed list. (see photo of Gwyneth at the Oscars) I said, quote, 'Look at that - you can almost see 'em!' I was wrong and I'm sorry. I should have said, 'Congratulations Uma Thurman.' (see photo of Uma) 'Holy crap! Somebody call the cops!'" TOP TEN: Things Best Supporting Actor Jim Broadbent Did Today #8. Appeared on 'The Today Show,' in crowd outside studio window. #2. Had footprints immortalized in cement after accidentally walking through a construction site. BARBARA WALTERS: from 20/20 and The View. - Barbara says she is wearing the same dress she wore on her post-Academy Award show which aired here in New York after 2:00 AM. She figured no one would know. Lots of talk about the Academy Awards, Barbara's post-Academy show, her pre-Academy show, and her upcoming special edition of 20/20 this Friday about her travels through Saudi Arabia. Barbara even commented on last night's Late Show feature, "The Barbara Walters' Reaction Shot of the Night." Barbara is a true professional who takes her work very seriously but does not take herself too seriously. Always a good guest. My only disappointment during the interview - Dave didn't end with "So what's next for Barbara Walters?" SHANNON McNALLY: From her CD Jukebox Sparrows, Shannon McNally sang "Now That I Know." And that was our show for Tuesday, March 26, 2002. Academy Awards Afterthoughts Driving to work this morning, the problem with the Academy Awards finally dawned on me. I have a sportsman's view of things when it comes to awards, competition, winners and losers, so when I watch a big production such as the Oscars, all I want to see is who wins and who loses. I watch the Super Bowl for the same reason. What's wrong with the Academy Awards is there is too much halftime show and not enough game. Give me the twenty award presentations right in a row and let's call it a night. Or, if they have to have the circus acts and the honorary Oscars and tributes, do ten awards, followed by the just mentioned "halftime show," then conclude with the final ten awards. Save the pomp for halftime. Sadly, instead of the Academy Awards ever becoming more like the Super Bowl, the Super Bowl is becoming more like the Academy Awards. Too much focus on the fluff and not enough on the game Due to popular demand, the entire list of Monday's Academy Award Timeline 8:05 PM - Joan Rivers is detained by security due to years of plastic surgery. The problem is she now looks nothing like Joan Rivers. 8:20 PM - Kevin Costner reports for duty as seat-filler 8:25 PM - I begin arduous task of dressing my kitties in mini tuxedos for our Academy Award Fiesta 9:30 PM - Dramatic "Salute To Directors" montage projected on Ron Howard's forehead. 10:00 PM - Intoxicated Ian McKellen escorted out after yelling, "Who wants to see Gandalf's magic staff?" 11:00 PM - Show is so long, dead-actor montage is lengthened to include audience members who died of old age. 11:30 PM - Whoopi Goldberg introduces poignant 25-minute tribute to the first 3 hours of the program. 11:45 PM - An embarrassed Gwyneth Paltrow suddenly realizes she forgot to wear the top of her gown. 12:15 AM - In evening's most touching moment, "Actor in a Low-Quality Propaganda Video" trophy goes to an emotional Osama bin Laden. 12:30 AM - After program reaches hour 4, confused Jerry Lewis begs viewers to keep pledging. 3:30 AM - At post-show party, Russell Crowe congratulates Denzel Washington to a bloody pulp. 3:45 AM - Though she wasn't nominated, Winona Ryder goes home with 3 Academy Awards. Joan Rivers has had so many facelifts her ears touch. Wahoo EXTRA! Last week we saw Jon Stewart's Death to Smoochy clip. Dave chided that Jon looked like a Jerry Lewis bellhop. I laughed out loud at this even though I had someone else in mind. I thought Jon looked more like Steve from Blue's Clues. FANTASY BASEBALL - It's back. I'm in the Late Show fantasy baseball league. It's a keeper league and I took over for an intern from last year. We picked the rest of our team the other day. Each week we select 1 player for each position, 4 starting pitchers, 2 relievers, plus 1 additional offensive player. There are 9 teams. The Wahoos consist of: 1B: Sean Casey and Andres Galarraga 2B: Eric Young and Pokey Reese SS: Derek Jeter and Tony Womack 3B: Adrian Beltre and Russell Branyan C: Mike Lieberthal and Todd Hundley OUT: Juan Gonzalez, Andruw Jones, Gary Sheffield, Johnny Damon, and Ryan Klesko SP: Glavine, Nomo, Lidle,Pineiro, Weaver and Ishii RP: Smoltz, Escobar, and Gabe White The guy I took over for came in last place last year. Looking at what I had to start with, it was easy to see why. I'll be keeping you up to date with The Wahoos and looking for help and advice from anyone willing. Those uninterested, don't worry. Only 27 more weeks of this. From yesterday's Wahoo: Wahoo reader David Donovan of Dallas, Texas e-mailed me this interesting note about Gene Pitney's "24 Hours From Tulsa" song that Dave has been singing lately. "About Gene Pitney: If you are 24 hours from Tulsa by car, you could be anywhere in the continental United States." I then wondered, "24 hours, even from Whiting, Maine?" So I received this today from Tyler Love of Mercer, PA. "I thought I would answer your question about the 24 hours from Tulsa song. According to Microsoft's Streets and Trips program, Tulsa, OK is 30 hours and 41 minutes from Whiting, ME. It was also recorded as being the quickest route at a distance of 1903.1 miles. Yet if you ere to constantly drive 18 mph over the speed limit, you would get there in 23 hours and 59 minutes... so I guess it is possible." Barbara Walters; and Shannon McNally. PLUS: *"Baby Bob" spinoffs; Alan Kalter's Academy Awards Fashion Recap Retraction; a top ten list; and the Annual Rupert Jee's Hello Deli Late Show* Meatball Hunt.** Nothing breeds imitation more than success so it comes as no surprise that the Baby Bob clones are in full swing. Have you seen the recent promo they're running on CBS? "Monday at 8:30, it's the hit show everyone's talking about, 'Baby Bob!' (Baby Bob makes some lame comment) Then at 9:00, watch the hysterical 'Baby Jacque!' (Baby Jacque makes the same lame comment with a French accent) At 9:30, be sure to catch the wisecracking 'Steve the Squirrel!' (Steve the squirrel makes the same lame comment as Bob and Jacque in a squirrel accent) And then it's a special episode of '60 Minutes.' (Mike Wallace says, "I gotta take a leak" in a Bill DeLace accent.) It's all here on CBS!" Long time Late Night and Late Show viewers love this Easter tradition. I'm not sure but it may have even started during Dave's daytime show. It's the "Annual Rupert Jee's Hello Deli Late Show Meatball Hunt." I'm sure I don't have to tell you how the game is played but I'm desperate to fill up space so I will. Rupert goes outside to find a willing contestant. Rupert blindfolds the contestant and then hides 3 Hello Deli meatballs around the deli. Where will Rupert hide the meatballs? Our announcer Alan Kalter will tell the home viewers exactly where. Says Alan: "Right you are, Dave. Rupert is placing the meatballs in various hidden locations." After Rupert hides the meatballs in various hidden locations, the blindfold is removed from the contestant and he or she has 30 seconds to find as many as he or she can. It's that simple. Rupert heads outdoors and selects a Leslie form Columbus, Ohio. Leslie is a student of Ohio State University and is here in New York visiting her sister. Leslie likes to chew the gum but I have a feeling that after watching herself tonight, she may quit. Rupert blindfolds Leslie, hides the meatballs, and then removes it. 30 seconds go up on the clock and Leslie is off to the races. How does she do? She finds none. Generous Dave gives Leslie another 30 seconds. This time she ransacks the place, as much as a coed from Columbus can ransack. Once again, no luck. But don't fret because there are no losers on the Annual Rupert Jee's Hello Deli Late Show Meatball Hunt. For her work, Leslie earns a million-dollar gift certificate towards a million dollars worth of meatballs from the Hello Deli. And that's how we play the Annual Rupert Jee's Hello Deli Late Show Meatball Hunt. ALAN KALTER'S ACADEMY AWARDS FASHION RECAP RETRACTION: Alan: "Last night in a segment called, 'Alan Kalter's Academy Award Fashion Recap,' I crowned Gwyneth Paltrow tops on my best-dressed list. (see photo of Gwyneth at the Oscars) I said, quote, 'Look at that - you can almost see 'em!' I was wrong and I'm sorry. I should have said, 'Congratulations Uma Thurman.' (see photo of Uma) 'Holy crap! Somebody call the cops!'" TOP TEN: Things Best Supporting Actor Jim Broadbent Did Today #8. Appeared on 'The Today Show,' in crowd outside studio window. #2. Had footprints immortalized in cement after accidentally walking through a construction site. BARBARA WALTERS: from 20/20 and The View. - Barbara says she is wearing the same dress she wore on her post-Academy Award show which aired here in New York after 2:00 AM. She figured no one would know. Lots of talk about the Academy Awards, Barbara's post-Academy show, her pre-Academy show, and her upcoming special edition of 20/20 this Friday about her travels through Saudi Arabia. Barbara even commented on last night's Late Show feature, "The Barbara Walters' Reaction Shot of the Night." Barbara is a true professional who takes her work very seriously but does not take herself too seriously. Always a good guest. My only disappointment during the interview - Dave didn't end with "So what's next for Barbara Walters?" SHANNON McNALLY: From her CD Jukebox Sparrows, Shannon McNally sang "Now That I Know." And that was our show for Tuesday, March 26, 2002. Academy Awards Afterthoughts Driving to work this morning, the problem with the Academy Awards finally dawned on me. I have a sportsman's view of things when it comes to awards, competition, winners and losers, so when I watch a big production such as the Oscars, all I want to see is who wins and who loses. I watch the Super Bowl for the same reason. What's wrong with the Academy Awards is there is too much halftime show and not enough game. Give me the twenty award presentations right in a row and let's call it a night. Or, if they have to have the circus acts and the honorary Oscars and tributes, do ten awards, followed by the just mentioned "halftime show," then conclude with the final ten awards. Save the pomp for halftime. Sadly, instead of the Academy Awards ever becoming more like the Super Bowl, the Super Bowl is becoming more like the Academy Awards. Too much focus on the fluff and not enough on the game Due to popular demand, the entire list of Monday's Academy Award Timeline 8:05 PM - Joan Rivers is detained by security due to years of plastic surgery. The problem is she now looks nothing like Joan Rivers. 8:20 PM - Kevin Costner reports for duty as seat-filler 8:25 PM - I begin arduous task of dressing my kitties in mini tuxedos for our Academy Award Fiesta 9:30 PM - Dramatic "Salute To Directors" montage projected on Ron Howard's forehead. 10:00 PM - Intoxicated Ian McKellen escorted out after yelling, "Who wants to see Gandalf's magic staff?" 11:00 PM - Show is so long, dead-actor montage is lengthened to include audience members who died of old age. 11:30 PM - Whoopi Goldberg introduces poignant 25-minute tribute to the first 3 hours of the program. 11:45 PM - An embarrassed Gwyneth Paltrow suddenly realizes she forgot to wear the top of her gown. 12:15 AM - In evening's most touching moment, "Actor in a Low-Quality Propaganda Video" trophy goes to an emotional Osama bin Laden. 12:30 AM - After program reaches hour 4, confused Jerry Lewis begs viewers to keep pledging. 3:30 AM - At post-show party, Russell Crowe congratulates Denzel Washington to a bloody pulp. 3:45 AM - Though she wasn't nominated, Winona Ryder goes home with 3 Academy Awards. Joan Rivers has had so many facelifts her ears touch. Wahoo EXTRA! Last week we saw Jon Stewart's Death to Smoochy clip. Dave chided that Jon looked like a Jerry Lewis bellhop. I laughed out loud at this even though I had someone else in mind. I thought Jon looked more like Steve from Blue's Clues. FANTASY BASEBALL - It's back. I'm in the Late Show fantasy baseball league. It's a keeper league and I took over for an intern from last year. We picked the rest of our team the other day. Each week we select 1 player for each position, 4 starting pitchers, 2 relievers, plus 1 additional offensive player. There are 9 teams. The Wahoos consist of: 1B: Sean Casey and Andres Galarraga 2B: Eric Young and Pokey Reese SS: Derek Jeter and Tony Womack 3B: Adrian Beltre and Russell Branyan C: Mike Lieberthal and Todd Hundley OUT: Juan Gonzalez, Andruw Jones, Gary Sheffield, Johnny Damon, and Ryan Klesko SP: Glavine, Nomo, Lidle,Pineiro, Weaver and Ishii RP: Smoltz, Escobar, and Gabe White The guy I took over for came in last place last year. Looking at what I had to start with, it was easy to see why. I'll be keeping you up to date with The Wahoos and looking for help and advice from anyone willing. Those uninterested, don't worry. Only 27 more weeks of this. From yesterday's Wahoo: Wahoo reader David Donovan of Dallas, Texas e-mailed me this interesting note about Gene Pitney's "24 Hours From Tulsa" song that Dave has been singing lately. "About Gene Pitney: If you are 24 hours from Tulsa by car, you could be anywhere in the continental United States." I then wondered, "24 hours, even from Whiting, Maine?" So I received this today from Tyler Love of Mercer, PA. "I thought I would answer your question about the 24 hours from Tulsa song. According to Microsoft's Streets and Trips program, Tulsa, OK is 30 hours and 41 minutes from Whiting, ME. It was also recorded as being the quickest route at a distance of 1903.1 miles. Yet if you ere to constantly drive 18 mph over the speed limit, you would get there in 23 hours and 59 minutes... so I guess it is possible."


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