Early in the day, Late Show staffer Nancy went out to pick up some lunch. Out on the sidewalk, two teens are standing in front of her. A third teen walks by and says hello to one of the two teens. "Did you know that guy?" asks the one teen. "Yeah," says the second. The first teen says in astonishment, "Dude, you kicked the odds ass!" Dave and Paul then discuss just what was meant by, "Dude, you kicked the odds ass!" They conclude that the first teen thought the likelihood of the second teen knowing somebody in this big city was very slim, hence, the odds were high but met. "Dude, you kicked the odds ass!"

And according to Dave, it looks like the term "Dude" is here to stay. "Groovy," "Fruit salad," and "Sound Down" have gone by the wayside. "Dude" has legs.

CIRCUS CHYRON QUIZ: We took a camera crew to the Nassau Coliseum on Long Island to shoot some footage of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus. The circus is currently at the Madison Square Garden through Sunday April 7, then on to Atlantic City and Philadelphia.
It's hard to explain the jokes without the video but I'll do my best.
- (kids watching juggling clowns)
For years to come, these kids will discuss this moment with their:
A) Friends
B) Relatives
C) Psychiatrists

- (trainers with zebras)
These trainers spend an hour every day:
A) Grooming the zebras
B) Exercising the zebras
C) Touching up the paint on the ponies.

- (gesturing ringmaster with explosions in the background)
The ringmaster is yelling:
A) "Voila!"
B) "Behold!"
C) "Holy crap! Somebody call an electrician!"

ALAN KALTER STARS IN FAMOUS FRED MacMURRAY MOVIE ROLES: Dave was watching Billy Wilder's "Double Indemnity" this weekend and something struck as oddly familiar but he couldn't put his finger on it. Finally it dawned on him. In the film, Fred MacMurray playing the part of insurance salesman Walter Neff, looks a lot like our announcer Alan Kalter. Dave decided he wanted to see Alan perform this role as Walter Neff. All morning the prop and scenic department recreated the scene, the lighting department worked to match the lighting, wardrobe was running to find the correct clothes, and the writer's segment producer was busy finding a Barbara Stanwyck/Phyllis Dietrichson match.
Here is the recreation of Billy Wilder's "Double Indemnity" (1944). (Actual dialogue from the film)
Phyllis: There's a speed limit in this state, Mr. Neff. Forty-five miles an hour.
Neff: How fast was I going, officer?
Phyllis: I'd say about ninety.
Neff: Suppose you got down off your motorcycle and give me a ticket.
Phyllis: Suppose I let you off with a warning this time.
Neff: Suppose it doesn't take.
Phyllis: Suppose I have to whack you over the knuckles.
Neff: Suppose I bust out crying and put my head on your shoulder.
Phyllis: Suppose you try putting it on my husband's shoulder.
Neff: That tears it. (exit)

Dave was expecting Alan to look real goofy in his role as Walter Neff. Much to Dave's surprise and delight, Alan performed too well. It was actually good!
Dave plans on recreating all of Fred MacMurray roles with Alan, right up to his work on "My Three Sons."

"Double Indemnity" - 1944
- directed by Billy Wilder
- A beautiful, shrewd, and dissatisfied femme fatale housewife (Barbara Stanwyck as Phyllis Dietrichson), and a likable insurance salesman (Fred MacMurray as Walter Neff) scheme to brutally murder her husband for purposes of lustful desire and financial gain.

The picture was nominated for 7 Academy Awards - winning none.
- Best Picture
- Best Actress
- Best Director
- Best Screenplay
- Best black and white Cinematography
- Best Sound Recording
- Best Scoring of a dramatic picture.

Edward G. Robinson also stars in the film.

TOP TEN: Ways I, Dave, Am Conserving Water.
#9. On April Fool's Day, dropped air-filled balloons onto unsuspecting pedestrians.

MICHAEL J. FOX: dressed in all black, Michael enters to a huge ovation from the audience. Of course, foremost in everyone's mind is Michael's condition and how is he doing in his battle with Parkinson's. Dave wasted no time in covering this topic. Michael was diagnosed in early 1991, first experiencing symptoms in 1990. It was a pinkie twitch that wouldn't go away. As the year went on, more symptoms developed until his wife Tracy made him get it checked out. Michael describes his wife as a hypochondriac, "which is the next best thing to having a doctor in the house." Once diagnosed, Michael began drinking "with a purpose" to deal with his Parkinson's. Waking with a hangover one morning to a wife who had become bored and indifferent to his drinking, Michael decided to put an end to his dependence on the bottle. Dave asks, "Were you an alcoholic?" Michael thinks a minute and says, "Yeah, that would work." He's been off the drink for ten years now.

Michael tells a story of meeting Princess Diana at an opening to one of his movies. He was seated right next to her. Michael was careful to follow all the proper protocol in the presence of the Princess, such as only stand when she stands, never turn your back to her, only speak to her if she speaks to you. Anyway, as soon as the picture starts, Michael realizes he has to go to the bathroom. Of course, he couldn't say to her, "Excuse me Your Highness, I have to go ring it." That just wouldn't do, so he had to sit there fidgeting throughout the entire movie. Now it's that way for him all the time.
"Do you feel good?" Dave wants to know. Michael answers that he has his good days and his bad, but overall he's doing pretty well. The timing and the dosage of the medication is the key. It was sad to see Michael J. in this condition but inspiring at the same time. He definitely always came across as one of the good guys in show business. The reaction from the audience upon his entrance and departure confirms that.

Michael just finished writing his autobiography, "Lucky Man: A Memoir" and all proceeds will go to the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson' Research. To find out more about Michael J. Fox, his foundation, and what you can do, click onto his website at www.michaeljfox.org.

PATTI SMITH: one of the most influential women in Rock & Roll music. Her new album is entitled, "Land", a 2-CD career retrospective. Patti sang "Dancing Barefoot" from the Greatest Hits collection.

And that was our show for Wednesday, April 3, 2002. Wahoo Extra!

For the next three weeks I'll have strange men in my basement transforming it into comfortable living quarters. I am so looking forward to this. The real fun will come when they leave and I have to prime and paint the whole thing - ceiling and walls.

In my next life, in high school I will take less Chemistry courses and more BOCES.

Note to Harold: Traffic has been great this week. No school, kids home, parents take off, no traffic.

Yesterday I asked where do people from Hawaii go on their honeymoon? Greg Donofrio, formerly of Ellicott City, Maryland wrote this:

"I now reside in Maui and I can tell you that people from here go to Japan & Australia for their honeymoon."

And that reminds me. What Boston Red Sox player was prematurely selected as the MVP of the 1986 World Series? I have two votes for Marty Barret, two votes for Bruce Hurst.

Note to Michael Skakel: Put on a neckbrace. It worked for Uncle Teddy.