Dave examines his hair and is not sure if he likes the way it looks. He compares it to Al Jardine's - the surfer, dry look. For those who may not be familiar, Al Jardine is/was a member of the Beach Boys.

Before we go on, Dave says when he walked out on stage earlier during the warm-up, a crazed person was frantically waving his/her arms like a rodeo clown. Turned out to be a staff member. He/she was merely trying to energize the crowd but it threw off Dave's internal rhythm. His sympathetic nervous system was triggered without reason. Dave said it looked like "a whip act without the whip."

BEACH QUIZ - We went to Jones Beach State Park on Long Island, New York and shot from footage. We brought it back to the comedy lab and matched it with hilarious copy. The result was BEACH QUIZ!
Before we begin:
Jones Beach State Park consists of 2,400 acres, which include 6 miles of ocean beach and a 2-mile boardwalk. 8 million people visit the park annually. And it is 33 miles from Manhattan. How long would it take to drive there without traffic? No one knows.

Some favorites:
- (Burly guy) After eating, this man is always careful to:
A) Clean up after himself
B) Recycle cans and bottles
C) Wait 30 minutes before kicking someone's ass

- (4 gals in bikinis) These girls are asking each other:
A) "Isn't this a great day?"
B) "Anyone up for a swim?"
(pan wide to a shot of a guy staring at the girls)
C) "Is that creepy guy still staring at us?"

- (fat guy walking along boardwalk) This man is neglecting to protect himself from the harmful effects of:
A) UVA
B) UVB
C) KFC

- (2 guys carrying heavy cooler) These men are looking forward to a day at the beach with:
A) A picnic lunch
B) Ice cold beverages
C) Ted Williams

- (old guy carrying a metal detector) A good title for this scene would be:
A) "Hunting for Treasure"
B) "High Hopes"
C) "Me In About Three Years"

IS THIS ANYTHING?
It's Keva. Yesterday's performance was "Fire Fingers." Tonight it was "Fire Chains."
Paul and Dave agree: It's better than ever.

TOP TEN: He said it! "From the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska."
"Alan Greenspan Euphemisms for Sex"
#10. "Depleting the Federal Reserve"
#7. "Opening an account with Fannie Mae"
#6. "Improving your long-term growth"

SARAH JESSICA PARKER: From the ever popular HBO series, "Sex and The City."
Denise (wife) likes the show. I remember watching one episode with her. In the first ten minutes, the word "sex" was spoken 15 times. "City" not once.
Sarah is 6 months pregnant - sex of the baby remains unknown. Husband Matthew Broderick has been busy the past few months working on the TV film, "The Music Man." Sarah says it's important for someone in the family to make television that is appropriate for children. Sarah says she was recently harasses by a roving mob of picture takers (I don't call them "paparazzi." It gives them an air of sophistication and debonair they don't deserve.) I didn't get all the adjectives but Dave and Sarah described them as boobs, blockheads, morons, and parasitic.
Sarah and Dave finished their time together with funny anecdotes about Amy Sedaris. (Amy and Sarah appeared together recently in an off-Broadway play). Before saying goodnight, Sarah invites Dave to the delivery room on the due date. Dave enthusiastically responds, "I'm there, dude."

Act 5: BEHIND THE SCENES AT THE LATE SHOW - Find out what happens behind the scenes by logging on to www.cbs.com/lateshow and be backstage with Alan Kalter. Watch as he spends each day alone in his office, closed off from friends and loved ones, imprisoned in a world of loneliness and despair. Witness his daily road to ruin, assuaged only by his barbiturates and his single malt live medicine. Join millions and millions of your computer buddies and watch as Alan sinks into the fetid abyss of horrifying life lost. Only $9.95. Order now.

ETTA JAMES: One of the greats. Tonight, performing with The Roots Band, Etta sang "Sugar on the Floor" from her new CD, "Burnin' Down the House."

And that was our show for Wednesday, July 17, 2002. Wahoo EXTRA!

I forgot to mention this yesterday about the Robin Williams appearance during Mario Batali's cooking segment. During the ACT 1, Robin Williams was bicycling by the Ed Sullivan Theater. He poked his head in just to say hello. A producer greeted him and asked if he wanted to do something on the show. Robin said he was up for it. The producer notified the head writers (Justin and Eric Stangel) and they brainstormed as to what to do with the noted comedic legend. One idea tossed about was to have him ride his bicycle around the snake/fire/grinder lady during Is This Anything. Another idea was to have him ride the top ten blue card in for Dave. It was decided to have Robin Williams as our Celebrity Taster.

SNAPPLE UNDER THE CAP FUN FACT OF THE DAY
#3. "Beavers can hold their breath for 45 minutes."

Yesterday's SNAPPLE UNDER THE CAP FUN FACT OF THE DAY:
#11. "Flamingos turn pink from eating shrimp."
I received this from Wahoo reader Tiffany O'Connell of Arvada, Colorado:

"I'm writting you because I had a thought about the Snapple under the cap fact for today. I too have heard that flamingo's turn pink because they eat shrimp, but raw shrimp is grey not pink. Do the flamingos cook of the shrimp first?"

Ah, yes, very interesting. I don't know the answer to this. This is a question for that Imponderable guy.

I started this yesterday. Featuring a Cameo Mention of a Wahoo Reader is much like preaching to the choir, so I decided to start something new, entitled, Cameo Mention of a non-Wahoo Reader. Once these non-Wahoo readers realize they missed their name in the Wahoo Gazette, they will never again skip another issue and my readership will increase. (I get paid by the hit.)
CAMEO MENTION OF A NON-WAHOO READER
From Willoughby, Ohio and a graduate of the University of Michigan, it's Katie McGregor
This concludes another episode of CAMEO MENTION OF A NON-WAHOO READER

Ted Williams has been cryogenically frozen. Is this what Kurt Vonnegut had in mind with "Ice Nine." (I wish I could take credit for this but I read it somewhere.)

SNAPPLE UNDER THE CAP FUN FACT OF THE DAY (I was real thirsty today)
#43. "A cat's lower jaw cannot move sideways."