Dave reads off General Tommy Franks information:
- 4-star General
- 38 years of Military Service - Vietnam to Operation Iraqi Freedom
- He has been awarded:
- 2 Distinguished Service Medals
- 3 Defense Distinguished Service Medals
- 4 Legion of Merit Awards
- 3 Bronze Stars
- 3 Purple Hearts
- And earlier tonight on CBS, he won a Latin Grammy.

Did you watch the Latin Grammy's on CBS before our show? CBS ran an odd promotional announcement.

"Attention, Latin music fans. Watch tonight at 9 as CBS presents the 4th Annual Latin Grammy Awards! Featuring performances by Ricky Martin, Banda El Recodod, and Thalia. Then stay tuned to CBS for "El Espectaculo de Duckface! CBS tonight."

Have you been trying to follow the U.S. Open this past week? It's difficult to do so with all the rain and inclement weather. It's really making for some sloppy play, that is, when they get the chance to play. Did you see the match from yesterday?
We cut to an Andre Agassi match. Agassi returns volley and suddenly his opponent is disintegrated by a thunderous bolt of lightning. Game, Set, Match - Agassi.

AWKWARD PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE MOMENT:
We find the Missouri congressman Richard Gephardt campaigning in Manchester, New Hampshire. A citizen catches his ear. The citizen is telling Gephardt of his concerns. Richard Gephardt responds with, "Yes.... yes....yes....yes....YES."

We'll be seeing a lot more of these over the next 14 months, although I wonder if a politician can ever feel awkward. I don't think it's in their nature.

BIFF LOOKS FOR CELEBRITIES:
There's a load of them in New York City and recently Biff and a camera crew went out looking for some. Although he didn't find any, he found a lot of "normal" people who sort of looked like celebrities.
Biff found:
Liza Minnelli
Christopher Walken
Don Rickles
Paul Newman
Seabiscuit
Harrison Ford's agent
Carol Channing
Catherine Zeta-Jones
Jason Brown and Darin Brown
Dave Grohl
A guy who looks like somebody
Rodney Dangerfield
David Hyde Pierce
Weird Al Yankovich
Mel Gibson
Lennox Lewis
A guy who doesn't look like anybody but scares the crap out of Biff
Denzel Washington
Demi and Ashton

And to be honest, the above wasn't really shot in New York City, but in Toronto, a city that looks like New York City.

That was an attempt at a joke. It made me laugh but I don't think it made too many others. So to avoid confusion, yes, it actually was shot in New York City.

GENERAL TOMMY FRANKS: Enters to a standing ovation. Dave asks the General for a quick bio on his life. The General gets right to it, saying he was born in Midland, Texas, went to the University of Texas and lasted there two years before flunking out, enlisted in the Army because he was afraid of getting drafted, and the rest is history.
He served in Vietnam as a forward observer. His job was to probe enemy positions, signal back to U.S. units as to the location of the enemy, then have our military fire over his head at the enemy. He didn't say his age but he was probably no more than 21 years old. Let's take a second to think what we were doing at the age of 21.
General Franks has been a soldier for 38 years. He's been married for 34 and a half years, and mentions and thanks his wife who is sitting in the audience. When he got married, he promised his wife that he would soon be leaving the army. Well, 34 years later he kept his word. What makes a good general? Franks says he should surround himself with very smart people and listen to them. Franks speaks highly of Rumsfeld, Bush, and most of all, the men and women who make up the armed forces.

During guest segments, I try to listen, follow, and write down the good stuff. When Dave gets someone like General Franks, I end up putting down the pen and simply sit back and enjoy. I don't want to miss a thing. It's all too interesting.

Osama? Saddam? What gives? Franks says he believes we are getting closer every day. With Osama, he has a lot of ideological followers and supporters, those who basically hate us, who would gladly feed him and house him. It is easy for him to go from place to place without detection. But with Saddam, he doesn't have the same support. The General expects Saddam to be captured sooner than Osama.

I really enjoy how Dave conducts these interviews. He barely refers to his notes, asks direct questions which seem simple but complex at the same time, listens to what the guest has to say and asks questions based on that. He listens and follows up. You always feel that at the end of the interview that Dave still has a bag full of questions left to ask. I admire his curiosity, his intellect, and his detective-like search for the truth.

ACT 5: If They Had John Kerry's Hair.
We see Dick Cheney in John Kerry's hair. We see Ashton Kutcher in John Kerry's hair. And we see Don King in John Kerry's hair.

RODNEY CROWELL: The Grammy Award-winning singer-songwriter performs "Fate's Right Hand" from the CD of the same name. I enjoyed it. A nice Bob Dylan-ish feel.

And now for a peek behind the scenes at the LATE SHOW. During the taping of tonight's program, the ACT 2 originally consisted of "Is This Anything", followed by a Top Ten list. The next two ACTS with General Tommy Franks went long and since Dave had more to ask the General, Dave decided on the fly to do another ACT with the General. He decided to scratch the original ACT 2 and make Franks the ACT 2, 3, and 4, for broadcast and go with our scheduled ACT 5 and music in the 6. So the studio audience got to enjoy 7 ACTS of fun tonight, while the home viewer only got the allotted 6. Why not keep the original ACT 2 and just get rid of the John Kerry's Hair ACT 5? It's all about time. John Kerry's hair took up less than a minute. "Is This Anything" and the Top Ten took up at least 4 minutes. Not to worry, home viewer. There's a good chance you'll see the "Is This Anything" performance and the Top Ten in a future program. I'll let you know when the time comes.

And that was our show for Wednesday September 3, 2003. Wahoo EXTRA!

Heads up: Thursday night, WFUV 90.7 FM here in the New York is highlighting the new Warren Zevon CD, "The Wind" at 8:00 PM. I'll be listening on my ride home from work.

I went to see Bruce Springsteen at Giants Stadium Saturday night. It was a beautiful night; cool and breezy. I've seen Bruce about 7 times now and he never disappoints. Every performance seems like it's the only show he's putting on the whole year and he puts everything he has into it. And he appears as excited to be there as we are. Whenever I see one of his shows, at least once during the night my mind goes back to a day when I was 20 years old in the woods of Lake Welch with 15 friends. It was a wet, soggy, and cloudy Memorial Day brightened by coolers of beer and Bruce on the boom box. I think back and pretend it was all care-free and pretty. For that moment, I am 20 again.
My favorite Bruce concert songs:
- "Candy's Room";
- though somewhat pop-ish, "Glory Days"
- And of course, "Thunder Road."

Remind me to tell my "Thunder Road" story some day.

I'm saddened over the death of Charles Bronson this past weekend. Some time back, I shared my own Charles Bronson story. I'll retell it now.

From the November 4, 2002 Wahoo Gazette:

MY CHARLES BRONSON STORY:
This weekend I went out to a bar for a couple quick slugs of beer. I found a bar I had never been in before. Upon entering, I immediately sensed it was a bar that stopped trying years ago. It's my favorite type of bar. Nothing fancy; no lights, no horns, no special effects. There were 7 of us at the bar. The barmaid gets me a beer. She's in her 50s and a little frayed around the edges, surviving the wear and tear of an uneasy life. She asks me what I did for a living. I never tell the truth to this question but this time I decided I would. I'm not sure why. I told her I worked on the Letterman show. "On TV?" she excitedly but quietly asks. She continues, "Have you ever met any big stars?" I tell her I have, mentioning Bill Cosby (if she's a TV fan) and Tom Cruise (if she's a movie fan.) She looks off into the distance with dreamy eyes. She leans in and whispers "Have you ever met... have you ever met Charles Bronson? I love Charles Bronson." I tell her "I'm sorry but I have never met Charles Bronson." We then talk about "Death Wish" and I say how the first 2 were pretty good but the last one was lame. She informs me there were actually 5 Death Wishes. I was surprised there were that many. I thought there were only three. We then talked about his roles in "The Dirty Dozen" and "The Great Escape." I asked if he was in "The Battle of the Bulge" and she said he was. "What's he doing now?" I ask. "He's married" she tells me somewhat sadly.

I loved Bronson in The Dirty Dozen, The Great Escape and the 5 Death Wish, films. Whenever one those movies are on the TV, I can't turn it off. My favorite Charles Bronson of all time is Death Wish 3. Funny like you wouldn't believe!

It's the girls first day of school Thursday morning. 2nd grade. Their backpacks this year are both Kim Possible.