While we were away, much of North America suffered a blackout, affecting over 50 million people. Most of the Late Show staff was away so we missed out on all the fun. Realizing this, Dave called for a simulated blackout. The screen goes dark for a few seconds. Out of reflex, the local grocery store raised the price of their bottled water by a buck and a half during those 7 seconds.

By the end of the week, the Late Show will have been on CBS for 10 years. You would think the fine folks at CBS would say something about that. 10 years on CBS. That's like 50 in TV years.

And later tonight after the show, the entire staff will head up to the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater Office Building for our annual staff photo. Dave shows a photo of last year's staff photo. I was the slim guy in the back with the full head of hair (I had a tough year). The first staff photo back in 1994, Tony Mendez "inadvertently" gave the finger and the photo had to be re-shot the next day. He was immediately fired and no one has heard from him since.

Good news for Team Rahal this weekend, of which Dave is a part owner, as Michel Jourdain won his 2nd CART race of his career with a victory at the Grand Prix of Montreal on Sunday. Jourdain also won at the Milwaukee Mile in May. He is currently in 3rd place in the CART championship point standings, 35 points behind Paul Tracy.
Can any CART fans tell me why the Grand Prix of Montreal is also called the Montreal Molson Indy? A lot of the CART races seem to go under two names, one which includes a sponsor.

And helping out all night long accompanying the band is Kiva, the Grinder Girl. She is the lone Late Show Dancer for the night.

And speaking of the blackout, Dave calls on Rupert to ask how he made out with the loss of refrigeration. It must have been an expensive debacle as the meat and other perishables had to be discarded after rotting and spoilage. How did Rupert make out? Says Rupert; "Ah, it was nothing really." Hmm. That sounds about right.

Each day the planet Mars gets closer and closer to earth, closer than it has been in the last 60,000 years. And it's playing havoc on the U.S. Open. Did you see what took place earlier in the day? We cut to a clip of a first round men's game with the large red angry planet obstructing half the court. We see a powerful return shot being deflected off Mars right back at the player, making this tournament play a total farce. Something has to be done.

Directing his attention to the Grinder Girl, Dave asks Paul to ask Kiva if she can make keys with her device? It's an interesting question, one I'll probably kick around tonight while trying to sleep.

Our President is still making with the fun whenever he gets a chance to speak in front of a crowd. Tonight we enjoyed another installment of "George W. Bush Joke That's Not Really a Joke."
G.W.B. is talking about somebody. "He's the kind of commander I'd like to serve under. It's just that, he just serves under me."

Before going to break, Dave phones his assistant Stephanie. Stephanie has a story she swears is true. Dave makes the small chat with Art, our 12th floor receptionist. How did Art handle the blackout? Any thrilling stories? "I was stuck on the train for about 20 minutes." Dave offers Art the rest of the day off. 20 minutes on a train. It sounded so draining and traumatic. It's amazing Art had even made it in to work today.

Stephanie's story: She and her dad were cleaning out the barn over the break when an owl flew up her dress and bit her on the ass.

Was that really true? No, of course not. So why did Stephanie say it was true? Because Dave made her.

Back from commercial, Dave invites the Grinder Girl to take part in the staff photo after the show.

Dave is still smarting over the lack of thanks coming from the honchos at CBS as we approach 10 years. Does anybody at CBS know we are nearing the decade mark? Dave decides to phone the CBS switchboard to ask the operator if he or she knows how long the Late Show has been on CBS. Dave disguises his voice, pretending to be a faceless Bob Johnson from Queens. I have a feeling "Dave from the Late Show" would have worked just as well. He asks the operator how long that guy after the late night news has had his show on CBS? She knows the show is "The Late Show with David Letterman" but is unsure when it came to CBS. She gives an honest guess of "I don't know. 1995?" Not bad.
Although it would have been funnier if she had no idea and made a wildly incorrect guess, I am glad she came as close as she did.

Dave is looking forward to the lunch CBS will send over on the Anniversary, consisting of soggy rolls and cold cuts. I'm looking forward to it, too. This year I hope to remember to bring the Tupperware.

TOP TEN: Reasons the National Crime Rate is Down - the Justice Department reported that last year, crime across the nation fell to a 30-year low.
#9. Thanks to NAFTA, much of America's crime now committed in Mexico. (I like the NAFTA jokes.)
#4. Crooks know they'll get caught just like Osama or Saddam.

CHRIS ROCK: He's wearing one of those throwback classic Adidas warmup tops. No need for me to run out to pick one up. I still got my original in the closet . . . . right next to my Sassoon jeans.
Chris says that in order for a person to run for governor, he should be able to pronounce the word, "Governor."
Thursday night, Chris will be hosting the MTV Video Music Awards at Radio City Music Hall here in New York City. This will be his third time hosting the event.

OK, kids. It's the Wahoo Gazette's "Time To Feel Old" segment. This Thursday's MTV Video Music Awards will be their 20th.
This concludes the Wahoo Gazette's "Time To Feel Old" segment.

I'm confused. Is MTV still in the music video business?

ACT 5: Starring the winner of the Dwight, the Troubled Teen Contest, Stephanie Montague.
Alan suggests to "Dwight" he start thinking about his future.
Stephanie, as Dwight, angrily retorts, "Leave me alone. You're not my father."
Alan expresses his concern, which turns up the anger switch in Stephanie, who is playing Dwight. "You should worry about yourself. You walk around looking like Ronald McDonald. I hate you. I hate all of you." Stephanie, playing the role of Dwight, exits.

THE STAR SPANGLES: Making their network television debut, from their CD "Bazooka!!!", The Star Spangles sang "Which of the Two Of Us Will Burn This House Down?"

And that was our show for Monday, August 25, 2003. Wahoo EXTRA!

For those keeping score at home, filling in for Will Lee tonight was Neil Jason. Will Lee is in Liverpool at a Beatles event. Will Lee is a member of the Fab Faux, a Beatle band that I've heard great great things about. I hope to get to see them soon here in the city.

Two weeks off is great. It is so much better than one week. At the end of two weeks off, you sort of almost just about a little bit kind of miss work. Last week I spent a day in Saratoga Springs in upstate New York betting on the ponies. The first race went off just as Denise and I were settling in. Denise was able to put some money down on the #3 horse, in honor of her father who was on born on the 3rd of May. When my father-in-law Jim was alive, his betting system was putting down $100 on the longshot for the entire card. He would go no more than once a year so it didn't put a major dent in his yearly wallet. Anyway, the 3 horse came in second. The winner? The #5 horse. Of course, we should have bet the exacta, 5-3, for May 3rd. It paid $890 on a two dollar bet. I like Exactas and tend to go with a $5 bet. Do the math. If we arrived 15 minutes earlier, there is a good chance I would have put down $5 on a 5-3 Exacta. As we lamented out bad luck and tearfully laughed at how Jim must be cursing us at that very moment, we swore that the next time we went to the track, we would put down $5 on the 5-3 exacta in the first race.
As Denise and I did pinky swear to the above, the second race went off. We didn't like anything in this race so we sat back and simply enjoyed the run. The #5 horse won. The #3 horse placed. Another 5-3 Exacta. I'm sure if I listened close enough, I would have heard some angry words coming from the heavens. I bet the 5-3 Exacta in the third race. I lost, and I deserved to.

Two new products are about to hit the market to compete against Viagra. How long before we see a headline which reads, "Viagra faces stiff competition."

When the US OPEN rolls around here in New York, I always root for the guy and gal with an easy to pronounce name. It just makes things easier for me. So when I read that the early Women's favorite may be Kim Clijsters, I cringed a bit. How do you pronounce "Clijsters"? I was quite happy to see that in today's USA TODAY, the paper supplied a phonetic spelling, "KLEYE-sters." Now all I had to do was figure out if 'Kleye' sounded like KLEE, KLY, or KLAY. My guess is KLEYE sounds like KLY, which makes me wonder why USA TODAY didn't simply go with KLY-sters?

Just wondering: What kind of prisoner has Sirhan Sirhan been? I'm sort of leading up to something.

With a filing fee of $3,500 in order to run for Governor of California, I think the state has figured out a way to eliminate its debt.

PEDESTRIAN TRAFFIC SIGNS UPDATE: Big article in today's New York Post. The familiar pedestrian Walk/Don't Walk traffic signs on the streets of New York are being replaced by a walking pedestrian sign (Walk) and a red hand (Don't Walk). The 77,000 signs are more energy efficient and the bulbs last 12 years instead of two. The change-over project cost $27 million and will save $4 million a year. And that shuts the lid on PEDESTRIAN TRAFFIC SIGNS UPDATE.