It's America's Fastest Growing Party Sensation, it's Audience Show and Tell! Dave goes into the Ed Sullivan Theater audience to pan for gold. It is a well known secret that the Late Show audience is the most talented on Broadway, now since CATS has closed.

AS&T #1: Chris McPherson of Fort Collins, Colorado. Chris is a journalism grad student at Colorado State University. Oh, and is there a fort in Fort Collins? Chris doesn't know. The future journalist never asked. What does Chris want to do after he graduates? After spending thousands studying to become a journalist, Chris says wants to be a web designer.
What does Chris have for Audience Show and Tell? Chris says he can crack his knuckles consecutively which makes a crackling popcorn sound. Chris demonstrates his talent. No need to tell us more. This was more show than tell.

AS&T #2: Cindy Felber of Florida. Cindy is a respiratory therapist and a real estate agent. Respiratory therapist? Is heavy breathing involved? What does Cindy have to show and tell? Cindy has a large tattoo on her lower back of her two children. She lifts the back of her shirt and leans over. Dave closely examines the tattoo, reaching out to touch it. Dave wonders, "Would you have room for a talk show host?" I think Cindy would make room. Dave thinks the piece is just wonderful, commenting, "Your kids are always with you." Says Cindy, "Yeah, but I can't see them." And how long did it take to get the tattoo? "Three and a half hours." This was split equally between "show" and "tell."

AS&T #3: Luke Hagel of Random Lake, Wisconsin. Luke is a Project Analyst - he packages loans for business owners. What can Luke do? He can recite all 50 states in alphabetical order in less than 15 seconds. To add to the difficulty factor, Dave has the knuckle cracking guy cracking his knuckles while Luke recites. The 15-second clock is up and they begin. Starting with Alabama and ending with Wyoming, Luke gets the job done with one second to spare.

I'm not sure but I thought I heard Luke say "Missouri" before "Mississippi."

And that is Audience Show and Tell.

WILL IT FLOAT? Tonight's item: Pillsbury Sugar Cookie Dough - Hmmm. Dave says it will float. Paul says it will float. The Late Show models drop the Pillsbury Sugar Cookie Dough into the Late Show Will It Float tank and it . . . . . SINKS! Like Dave and Paul, I lost too.
Dave says he hates losing, but he hears we may play again later.

TOP TEN: Questions to ask yourself before buying Egg Nog
#9. "What's the best egg-to-nog ratio?"
#7. "What other disgusting egg-based beverages could I try?"
#4. "Which one's the Egg Nog that all the rappers drink?"
#2. "What would Jesus drink?"

Here are some Egg Nog facts you did not get from watching the show. You got it from reading the Wahoo Gazette - the original blog
-Egg Nog literally means "eggs inside a small cup"
-One of the original names of Egg Nog was "egg and grog in a noggin"
-George Washington was a big fan of Egg Nog and was known to use extra whiskey and sherry

CHARLIZE THERON: Dressed in all black. Dave congratulates Charlize for her Golden Globe Best Actress in a Drama nomination for her work in "Monster." Some of the other nominees are Uma Thurman, Nicole Kidman, Cate Blanchette.

Charlize is originally from South Africa and Dave wonders what Christmas was like in South Africa, where December is the middle of summer. She says, of course, it is hot, and it is also the big school holiday time and so most families go away. Since they are away for the holiday, there is no big Christmas tree at home. Instead of a big turkey dinner, it's more barbecue and cold beer. (I'm on the plane.)

Charlize is also a first-time homeowner and is going through the usual problems. Dave adds what he knows about a home; "The second you open the door it starts disintegrating."
Charlize is living in the hills of California and is home to a bunch of dogs. It is also home to rats and coyotes, though uninvited. She says it's the price she pays for living in nature. Dave has a fascination with rats, describing the mass of the basic New York City rat both in number and in size. Charlize says her dogs like to catch rats, often doing so while she walks the dogs on a leash. It's gruesome, but Dave likes the sound of being so close to the hunt and kill.

Charlize's new film, "Monster," opens in New York City December 24. It's about a prostitute drifter who is a serial killer. Charlize put on 30 pounds for the role, eating potato chips. She says what we already know: It's easier to put on 30 pounds than it is to take off. We see a clip from "Monster." Neither of the two women in the scene looks at all like Charlize. I've been assured Charlize was the one on the left.

WILL IT FLOAT II: It's the same rules but we double the points. Item: A plastic bottle of Log Cabin Original Syrup - Dave and Paul both agree that it'll float. (Plastic bottle). The Late Show models drop the plastic bottle of Log Cabin Original Syrup into the Late Show Will It Float tank and it . . . . . SINKS!

ACT 5: On Cape tonight, the one and only --- JERRY SPRINGER! Jerry did a fine job on cape, one of the better performances. At the top of ACT 6, Jerry comes out to take a bow and the audience breaks into a "Jerry Jerry Jerry" chant. Dave Matthews and the band setting up for their performance seemed to really enjoy the whole thing, joining in on the music.

Jerry Springer - I usually watch a bit of his show whenever I'm on vacation. It never fails to make me laugh. It is very well done for what it is.

DAVE MATTHEWS: From his new solo debut, "Some Devil," Dave Matthews performed the Grammy nominated "Gravediggers." Performing with Dave Matthews was Trey Anastasio. He's someone I should know but, sadly, I don't know music all that much. The audience gave a warm response when Dave mentioned his name.

And that was our show for Friday, December 19, 2003. Wahoo EXTRA!

Joey Buttafuocco is back in the news. It's been years since the Joey/Mary Jo/Amy Fisher Long Island fiasco but after a long absence, Big Joey is back. He was recently arrested in California for insurance fraud. And now, MY JOEY BUTTAFUOCCO STORY. It was back in the early 1990's. I was just off the New York City Police Force and was helping my father-in-law working security at the Manhattan Eyes, Ears, and Throat Hospital. Located on the Upper East Side of Manhattan, the hospital was frequented by many of the day's big stars for a nip here and a tuck there. Mr. Buttafuocco came to the hospital to be with his wife Mary Jo who was in for some work to repair her face and features. Being the media magnets that they were at the time, they asked for special security during their overnight stay. The high-ups were all nervous over the high-profile guest we were about to have. I was selected as ‘the special security.' We snuck them in the back door and escorted them up to their room. Nobody was the wiser. During my rounds, I noticed one photographer outside the hospital waiting for the Long Island liabilities. The Buttafuocco's media magnetic attraction must have been on "dim" because that was all that was out there. I think we were in the 16th minute of their 15 minutes of fame. With Mary Jo secure in her room, Joey decided to go out for a walk. I directed him to the back door of the hospital but he insisted on going out the front door. So be it. I let him go and watched the photographer on 64th Street. When he saw Joey, he didn't budge a muscle. Joey stopped under the hospital canopy, but nobody approached. He walked over to the photographer and they spoke. The photographer never lifted his camera. Joey walked away down the street ever so slowly.

Two hours later he beeps me to let me know he's on his way back. Again, he slowly strolls up 64th Street. No one pays notice. He walks in without incident. He's quite jovial and talkative and tells me he was around the corner having a few pops. I said I wished I could have joined him. He laughs longer and louder than the comment called for. I walk with Mr. Buttafuocco to his wife's room. On the way, he makes smacking sounds with his lips as we pass the nurses station. One nurse rolls her eyes. I leave him with his wife and wish them a good night.

The next day when all is done, the head of security and the hospital's big muckety-muck come to the Buttafuocco's room to escort them out the back door. They both elbow me out of the way to get near the adulterer and the shooting victim. I take my place in back as we make our way to leave. Mr. Buttafuocco is very attentive to his wife and pretty much ignores the two older, white-haired, highly paid, hospital employees. The head of security rushes out to the street to open the car door for Mrs. Buttafuocco. The big muckety-muck puts his arm around Mr. Buttaufocco, telling him he hopes the stay was pleasant. My stomach was becoming queasy. Mr. Buttafuocco seems to be bothered by the two, ignoring them the best he could. He gets in the back seat of the waiting limo and the security head shuts the door for him. The hospital head honcho and the head of security exchange glances, proud of themselves for the job they had done. The three of us walk back inside. Before we can get too far, the car door flies open and Mr. Buttafuocco jumps out of the car. The big hospital guy and the head of security rush to see what he needs. He pushes them both out of the way, ignoring them the best he can, and extends a hand to me. "Mike!" he exclaims, "thanks for everything. You were great!" With that, he turns and rushes back into the limo as the car drives off. Neither the head of security nor the hospital honcho said a word to me. They seemed angry at being slighted by Joey Buttafuocco. My head spins at how pathetic the whole world is.

And that's MY JOEY BUTTAFUOCCO STORY

DAVE4000: During the summer, I asked Wahoo Readers to write in with their guess of the date Dave will host his 4000th show. Well, we finally made it. Friday's show was the 4000th program Dave has hosted with his name on it. And now, the winners of WAHOO GAZETTE DAVE4000!
Daytime shows: 90
Late Night: 1810
Late Show: 2096, plus 4 primetime specials.
Grand total 4000!

HELEN READ wrote in with a guess of December 19th. Yes, Helen, congratulations! You correctly predicted the day Dave would host his 4000th program.

KARUN MEHTA wrote in with a guess of December 19th. Congratulations, Karun, you correctly guessed the exact date Dave would host his 4000th show!

GREG DONOFRIO of Ellicott City, Maryland was correct in his guess of December 19th as Dave's 4000th program.

WALTER KIM of New York City, New York was also correct in his guess of December 19th as the exact date Dave would host his 4000th show.

So how do I break the tie? I decide by who sent their guess in first. And so the winner is:
WALTER KIM! Congratulations, Walter, your Late Show Online T-shirt is in the mail. Wear it well! Please allow 6-8 months for delivery.