Here's how I saw last night's show. . .

It's America's Fasting Growing Singing Sensation, it's Stump the Band. Stump the Band is a little something we stole from Johnny Carson but as soon as we're done with it for good, we'll return it. Tonight, some lucky contestant just might ride home in a Buick LeSabre!
Uh oh. Paul must have gotten the wrong memo because he was prepared to play the Carnac, another Carson phenomena. Paul holds up an envelope to his head and tells the answer to the question sealed inside. "William Hung" exclaims Paul. He then opens the envelope to read the question: "Why do ladies like William?"

STB#1. Michelle Orm of Seattle, Washington. Dave greets her with, "Hey! How about them Mariners!" A somewhat disappointed Michelle says they are not doing anything.
Her song: "Popcorn Popping on an Apricot Tree"
Our Felicia says she is familiar with this song and croons the tune. Michelle says it is not the song she has in mind. Michelle sings her version is a rewarded with a "Live on Letterman" CD, a dinner to a fine New York City restaurant, and a box of Explode A Pop Popcorn.

STB#2: Alex Doman, a PH.D student in Chemical Engineering, studying at Cambridge. Alex is originally from Italy. What's Alex got for us?
Alex's song: "The Dirty Golden Bear." Paul is excited because he is quite sure he knows this song. Borrowing from Elvis' "Teddy Bear," Paul sings "The Dirty Golden Bear" the best he remembers. Result: Nope. It was not the song Alex is here to sing. Alex sings his song which ends with "So take that Dirty Golden Bear and shove him up your ass."

STB#3: Karen Kahn, a waitress from New York City. This translates to "originally from California, now involved in theater."
Karen's song: "Wadilacha" - Will volunteers. Adapting the Beatles' "Twist and Shout", the member of the Fab Faux sings "Wadilacha." Yes, it was "Wadilacha" but not the "Wadilacha" Karen was looking for. Karen sings her version of "Wadilacha," with choreography.

And that was Stump the Band. Could you tell I didn't see it?

On the show tonight, Hugh Jackman. Dave says his real name is actually Jack Hughman. Oh such a silly man.

Did you see the NBC Announcement today? Dave saw it and thought it very odd, so he had it Tivo'd and brought it in.

"First America said goodbye to 'Friends.' Then it was time to say goodbye to 'Frasier.' Now it's time for America to say goodbye . . . . to NBC. That's right, there's no point in us continuing. As of this weekend, NBC will show . . . . nothing but reruns of Mexican soap operas." (see scene from Mexican soap opera) Thanks, and farewell, from all of us at NBC."

GEORGE W. BUSH SLICK FINGER POINT: From a May 3rd campaign stop in Niles, Michigan. The President flies out a snappy slick forefinger point.

TOP TEN: Perks of Being an Olympic Athlete - And here to present tonight's top ten list, ten 2004 United States Olympic Hopefuls.
-The 2004 Summer Olympics are in Athens, Georgia and run from August 13-29th.

Helping out tonight:
#10. Gymnast, Blaine Wilson.
#9. Softball center fielder, Laura Berg.
#8. Competing in judo, Jimmy Pedro.
#7. Competing in Taekwando, Steven Lopez.
#6. Men's 105 Plus Weightlifter, Shane Hamman
#5. Star-Class sailor, Phil Trinter
#4. Cyclist, Mari Holden
#3. Competing in Men's saber in fencing, Keith Smart.
#2. Flyweight boxer, Ron Siler.
#1. Swimmer, Jenny Thompson.

STUPID PET TRICKS
STP#1: Sandy Guild with her poodle Scarlett. Sandy is a preschool teacher from central Florida. "Florida. Crawling with tourists?" Dave asks. "Among other things," responds Sandy.
TRICK: Sandy's dog Scarlett can sneeze on command. Dave asks if Scarlett suffers from allergies? Sandy says she doesn't but the family does and that's how Scarlett learned.

STP#2: Gary Noel and his dog Miss Prissy. Gary is a large man and Miss Prissy is a little itty bitty Chihuahua; a miniature Chihuahua. Miniature Chihuahua --- isn't that redundant? Looking at Miss Prissy, Dave thinks it not a dog at all, but a rat! Miss Prissy weighs a mere 4 pounds. Where is Gary from? Gary says proudly, "I'm from Mesa, Arizona, just east of Phoenix." Dave says, "So you're closer to Texas." Gary says that's right. A bit later Dave says, "But isn't New Mexico east of Arizona?" Yes, that's right. Dave is confused. "So from Texas going the other way, it's New Mexico then Arizona." Yes, that's right.

The Wahoo Take On This: Gary was right all along. When he said Mesa was east of Phoenix, Dave followed with "So you're closer to Texas." That is true. Mesa is closer to Texas than is Phoenix. Mesa is also closer to New York thank is Phoenix.

TRICK: Gary will balance Miss Prissy on his thumb while Miss Prissy stands on only one front paw. Gary proudly announces this is the only place you will see this trick in the country. Gary holds up Miss Prissy, balances him up there, and then slowly lets go. Miss Prissy stays up and successfully performs the trick! Very good trick.

STP#3: Lori Stevens and her black lab, Beau. Lori is from Royse, Texas. Dave asks, "When you drive west from Royse, you hit New Mexico." Lori says that's right. Dave continues, "And then you reach Arizona." Lori says, "I don't know." Spoken like a true Texan. Who cares what's on the other side of the state border?
TRICK: Beau can take off Lori's shoes and socks. Lori sits and Beau takes hold of Lori's shoe. Once that is removed, Lori bites on the toe of the sock and yanks and pulls it off. Ta da! Great job.

It was a nice job by all in Stupid Pet Tricks.

Phew…. We just dealt with 16 people who rarely, if ever, speak or appear on television.

HUGH JACKMAN: star of the #1 film in the country "Van Helsing" and a recent Tony Award nominee for Best Actor in a Musical for his work in "The Boy From Oz." In the musical, Hugh Jackman portrays the late Peter Allen. He'll be appearing on Broadway for another 4 months and I'm thinking I should take in the show. Years back, my peeps, fun loving and hard drinkers all, fell in love with a Peter Allen album which included "I Go To Rio" and "The More I See You." The music didn't fit our image but we reacted with great joy whenever one of us slapped on the LP. Denise (wife) and I went to Carnegie Hall some years ago to see him LIVE. Great show. And I hear Hugh Jackman does a great job in Oz. Paul Shaffer went to see "Boy from Oz" when if first opened and Hugh got Paul to participate during the show, getting him to boogy down with the hip shake.
His "Van Helsing" blockbuster made $52 million this weekend and is expected to continue to go strong. Monday morning Hugh was awakened by his wife with news that "Van Helsing" was the #1 film in the country over the weekend and he was nominated for a Tony Award. Not a bad way to start the week.

ACT 5: It's time for a Late Show announcement.
Do you have any brilliant ideas for the Late Show 4 A.M. Show? If so, send them to:
Late Show 4 A.M. Show Idea
1697 Broadway
New York, New York 10019.
Get up and get going. We'll take anything you got."

And that was our show for Thursday, May 13, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

Gee whiz, the way people are talking around here it's as if they've never pulled an all-nighter. We're walking with uncertainty today as we prepare for Friday's 4 AM Show. I'm still not sure what I'll be doing after taping the Thursday show. I usually like to get out of here by 7:30 PM to go home but the "morning" meeting for the Friday show is 12:30 AM. I'm not sure if it'll be worth the trip.
And it seems like we're in back-to-back show mode, the way we used to shoot two shows on Thursday. It feels like we're preparing to shoot the Friday show an hour and a half after the first show. Not so. We finish taping Thursday at 6:30. 6 hours later we start our day again. Right now as I type this it is 9:00 PM Thursday. 4:00 AM is 7 hours away. And we're still looking for stuff to do.
All right, I'm almost done with Thursday. What to do for the next 3 hours? I think I'll take a walk. Buy some pizza. Grab a beer. But I'm afraid to leave. Things in the 4 A.M. show are a changing all the time.
Sure, a 4 A.M. show may be a bit inconvenient, but when it's all over and we find ourselves with the rest of Friday off, I think it'll be worth it.

Dang. Wish I had some stuff to cut and paste.

How about some Useless Facts?
-Samuel Clemens, aka Mark Twain, was born on a day in 1835 when Haley's Comet came into view. When he died in 1910, Haley's Comet came into view again.
-Charlie Brown's father was a barber.
-Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously
-If you have three quarters, four dimes, and four pennies, you have $1.19. You also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
-The largest city in the United States with a one syllable name is Flint, Michigan.

Talk to you in a couple of hours.