Sid McGinnis is a grandfather! Late Show guitarist Sid McGinnis became a grandfather over the weekend. Dave shows photos of the proud and happy family. Welcome, little Liam, and congratulations to Grandpa Sid and mom and dad, Michael and Mary.
Dave looks over to Paul and muses, "A grandfather . . . we're all just too old for this." Then he snaps back with, "Let them come and take it away from us, is what I say."

Out on 53rd Street is Leif Becker, a 3rd degree black belt. He will be attempting to set a world record for breaking boards in one minute. The Current Record is 415 boards broken, by Michael Reeves in 2002.
Leif is 32 from Southbury, Connecticut.
-16 years of training; a 3rd degree black belt
-a member of the World Champion "Team Bergamo" at this year's "Arnold Martial Arts World Games."
-Owner of the Southbury Academy of Karate in Southbury, Connecticut.

What is the secret to busting 415 boards in one minute? It's all "focus" says Leif. "Focus of the mind, focus of the body, focus of everything." His personal best prior to tonight is 370 boards in one minute. As we scan down 53rd street, we see 120 stacks of boards in piles of 5, 4, and 3, for a total of 500 boards.
Dave asks the focused Leif, "Ever kill a guy?" Leif says he never has. But could you? "I guess if I had to," answers the 3rd degree black belt. Dave likes the quiet confidence.
Dave says nothing in tonight's venture will go to waste, pointing out that all the broken planks will go to charity.

The Arctic Climate Impact Assessment recently came out with a report which state what will happen if the Global Warming goes unchecked. The panel created a simulation to allow us to better understand the outcome of unchecked Global Warming. We see a simulation of the sun bearing down on the blue planet earth. The earth begins to tremble in the excruciating heat. And then . . . . POP! The earth turns into a giant popcorn kernel.

Did you watch President Bush's 5-point plan for Iraq that he discussed last night in his speech which was not carried on network television? (It's Sweeps, you know.) The White House came out with a statement outlining the key points.
1. hand over authority to a sovereign Iraqi government.
2. help establish stability and security
3. rebuild Iraq's infrastructure
4. draw other countries into military operations
5. and finally, use his experience as a cheerleader to boost the spirits of the Iraqi people. (see photo of young George W. Bush as a cheerleader with a megaphone)
Dave is proud of our President for being a former cheerleader. Dave and Paul perform an Iraq cheer: "Give me an 'I', Give me an 'R', give me an 'A', give me a 'Q'. What's that spell?" The crowd yells back, "Iraq!"

Back to Leif Becker. Before he attempts the World Record, Leif's associates psyche him up through a round of karate demos. One guy gets beaten by these long sticks, then they karate chop bricks and cinder blocks. The camera flows to find Leif Becker ready to go. Leif takes a few powerful karate chops . . . . . and then he's off! Wham Wham Wham Wham Wham Wham right down the line. With the clock ticking, Leif was whamming down the line about 2 stacks per second. Wham wham wham wham wham. With one minute up, Leif karate chopped 119 of the 120 stacks. He skipped some stacks along the way because they were knocked off line. Some he couldn't break. Most did. At the end of the minute, Leif falls to the ground on 53rd Street, reminding me of Paul falling to the ground during the Cape Thing. The whole thing was very impressive. Did he break the record? We don't know. We'll check back in later for the official count.
Dave says if he didn't break the record, we'll let him rest up and try again.
Dave simulates a karate chop and says, "I don't think I've done this 500 times . . ." and then stops when he remembers that he has.

Back from commercial, Dave speaks to a somewhat recovered Leif. Leif's hand is purple, swollen, and bruised. The record is 415 broken boards in one minute. Did Leif break the record? The final tally isn't in yet but he thinks he may have. We'll check in again later.

TOP TEN: Signs Your Team Is Not Going To Win the NBA Finals
#10. Oscar Robertson - 1971 NBA Title Winner and 12-time All-Star
- "Owner won't pay for team to travel to away games."
#9. Robert Parish - NBA's All-Time leader in games played and a four-time NBA champion.
- "Coach used time-out to go get Spike Lee's autograph."
#8. Rick Barry - only person to have led the NCAA, ABA, and NBA in scoring.
- "Your teammate spends whole game guarding the ref."
#7. George Gervin - Four-time NBA scoring leader.
- "Power forward has been out two months with the hiccups."
#6. Willis Reed - Led the New York Knicks to NBA Championships in 1970 and 1973.
- "During the season, you lost to the Lakers and the Laker Girls."
#5. Walt Frazier - teammate of Willis Reed's and 7-time All-Star.
- "Your team logo is a guy asleep in a hammock."
#4. Clyde Drexler - a member of Basketball's Hall of Fame Class of 2004.
- "Much of the 24 seconds is spent on uncontrollable sobbing."
#3. Bill Walton - named one of the NBA's 50 Greatest Players
- "No one on your team can dunk without a stepladder."
#2. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar - Six-time league MVP with 6 championships and 19 All-Star appearances.
- "Your best player is named Shaquille Wasserstein."
#1. Bill Russell - 11 Championships and a 5-time NBA Most Valuable Player
- "Many nights team has more groin pulls than points."

Dave is looking forward to a Pacer/Laker NBA final. The Lakers are halfway there. I'm hoping Reggie Miller makes it one more time.
Game 1 of the NBA Finals: Sunday, June 6th. Be there.

I pitched a joke for Bill Russell's line. It was shot down.
DAVE: "And the #1 sign your team is not going to win the NBA Finals, winner of 11 Championships and a 5-time NBA Most Valuable Player, Bill Russell."
BILL RUSSELL: "You're playing against ME."

DENNIS QUAID: From the sure to be blockbuster, "The Day After Tomorrow," the ultimate disaster film where the world is destroyed by Global Warming. The Ice Caps melt which results in sudden global climatolgical changes. Dennis plays a paleoclimatologist in the film, someone who studies "old weather." He says he often misspoke in the film, calling himself a paleogynocologist, which is the study of . . . well, never mind.
Dennis and Dave talk a bit about their places in Montana. Dennis like to fish for trout; he's got horses and wildlife around the ranch; lots of moose and bear; and says how he came home one day to find a black bear standing on a table in his kitchen. Dave shares his story of a bear taking up quarters in his abode for 5 hours. If I remember correctly, a high school kids with M-80s finally got the bear to leave.
Dennis has been keeping busy recently working on a remake of a 1965 Jimmy Stewart film, "The Flight of the Phoenix." Dennis plans on using his "Jimmy Stewart" voice while performing the Jimmy Stewart role. He feels it's critical to the part.
The film was shot in Africa in Namibia. He went on a safari and saw "The Big Five." Dave and Dennis try to name the Big Five of Africa. I'm not sure if they got them all. Dave suggested "squirrel" to be one of them but I don't think he was right. Another guest was on our show some time back and mentioned the Big Five. If I recall, the Big Five are Elephant, Rhino, Lion, (those were easy), and the leopard and the buffalo. He said the animals look at you while you're driving safely inside your car and you can tell they're thinking, "Come on out. Come on. What's the big deal? Just step out of the car, just for a second."
"The Day After Tomorrow" opens Friday. We see a clip. I don't usually go for the big blockbusters with over the top special effects, but this looked pretty darn cool. Flying cars and roaring floods down city streets. Of course there was your overdone shot of an overweight bald guy who doesn't notice the world is coming to an end until the very last second. Most disaster movies have that same guy. He's usually eating a sandwich.

ACT 5: Dwight the Troubled Teen:
Alan: "Dwight, what are your plans for the summer?"
Dwight: "I don't know. Hand out with my friends. What's it to you?"
Alan: "I was thinking it might be good for you to go to summer camp. I have some brochures."
Dwight: "Camp is for losers."
Alan: "Dwight, I went to camp."
Dwight: "Oh, you make it too easy, Grandpa. I hate you. I hate all of you!"
Dwight exits.
This has been Dwight the Troubled Teen.

This just in: Leif Becker broke 415 boards to TIE the World Record. I talked to Pat Farmer after the show and I asked who did the counting? He said he counted, two of Leif's guys counted, and a Guinness official counted. And they recounted. The number they kept coming up with was 415. Congratulations, Leif. I'll be looking for you in next year's Guinness Book.

VELVET REVOLVER: From their soon-to-be-released CD, "Contraband," the former members of "Guns and Roses" and "Stone Temple Pilots," performed "Don't Tell Me."

And that was our show for Tuesday, May 25, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

This is going to be a long week. I woke Tuesday morning and for 15 seconds I thought it was Friday and the beginning of vacation.

Top ten: very cool indeed, seeing the greats on the stage of the Ed Sullivan Theater. When looking at the 10 I realized I had a story for every one of them. Their size is truly impressive; their bodies so proportioned and coordinated. During rehearsal I was standing to the side looking down the row of NBA legends. First in line was Oscar Robertson, followed by Robert Parish. Since they were in a straight line, I couldn't see the rest of the players. I wanted to get a look at New York Knick great Walt "Clyde" Frazier. I looked down at the shoes worn by the Hall of Famers and saw one guy was wearing cloudy white shoes. I knew that must be Walt Frazier. It was. Speaking of Walt Frazier, he played possibly the best Game 7 game I can remember. It was that glorious year of 1969 when the Jets, Mets, and Knicks won their championships. (Knicks actually won in 1970 but the season started in '69.) It was the L.A. Lakers vs. the Knicks and Captain Willis Reed gets hurt in Game 5. The Knicks rally together in that game to somehow defeat Wilt Chamberlain and the Lakers. Game 6 was all Lakers to send Game 7 back to New York. Without Willis Reed, the Knicks had little chance of beating the mighty Lakers. Seconds before the opening tip, Captain Willis Reed struggles out from the locker room onto the court. The Garden is in complete bedlam. Willis makes the first two shots of the game and the place is goes crazy! Willis sits after a few minutes and plays no more the rest of the game. How did Walt Frazier do? 36 points, 19 assists. That's responsible for 74 points. Knicks win 113-99.
I remember it well. I saw it on the radio. Thanks for ever, Marv.
That Game 7 was one of the two greatest events at Madison Square Garden in my near half-century. The other? Ali-Frazier I, March 8, 1971.

And speaking of sports: The New York Yankees are off on Memorial Day. Idiot schedule makers. Absolute idiots. I'll have to check Sunday's papers to see how many other teams are off on the holiday.

From Sunday's New York Post:

THE FAB FAUX:
BEATLES COVERS, SANS THE SILLY WIGS
May 23, 2004 -- Who says five middle-aged guys can't love rock stars as obsessively as teenage girls love Justin Timberlake?
Meet Fab Faux, a five-member Beatles cover band playing the Bowery this week (Tues., Wed. and Thurs.).
Why five?
"You just can't do the later stuff with four people," says drummer/vocalist Rich Pagano, who would also like to make it clear that they "don't dress up or wear wigs or have fake accents."
Besides Pagano, the band includes Will Lee, who plays bass in David Letterman's band; Jimmy Vivino, who plays on "Late Night with Conan O'Brien"; Frank Agnello; and Jack Petruzzelli.
You can expect a heavy dose of the later, trippier stuff: the group favors post-1966 albums like "Abbey Road," "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band," "Revolver" and "The White Album."
And they pull it off. Fans include Art Garfunkel, "Little" Steven van Zandt, Kurt Russell, Goldie Hawn and Conan O'Brien.
Yoko, however, "is not into us," says Pagano "[But] she knows who we are."
The surviving Beatles know about the Fab Faux, too. "Ringo was on Letterman and Will told him about the band and said, 'Here's our pin," says Pagano. "And Ringo looked at it and gave it back," he says, laughing.
As for whether any Fab Faux members have a favorite Beatle, Pagano swears that there are no divided allegiances: "We love them equally. They knock us all out. Even Ringo can knock you out."