It's a Wahoo Doubleheader! Thursday and Friday's coming at you.

Something seems to be bothering Dave and he wants to get it off his chest. Dave admits there was a time when he and CBS weren't on the best of terms. Now there is a truce.
With that out of the way, Dave gets back to the show business. He turns to Paul, "Do you like the country music, Paul?"

Have you seen the FBI Most Wanted Poster of Suspected Terrorists? You probably have. But have you taken a close look? There, right at the bottom is terrorist #7, Alex Trebek.

GEORGE W. BUSH EXPLAINS 'NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND':
From a May 12th speech in Maryland: "This act is called the 'No Child Left Behind Act' because we want to make sure no child gets left behind."

We have a free moment so Dave asks if we can check in with Telemundo. From "La Corte de Familia" we see one angry judge.

And now it's time for A MOMENT WITH GEORGE W. BUSH:
From a May 25th speech in Youngstown, Ohio.
Don't worry if you missed this. I wouldn't be surprised if this one resurfaces some time in the future.

IRAQI TIMELINE: some of my favorites include -

Back from commercial . . .
It's the 17th Annual Fleet Week here in New York City and every year we like to bring them out: SAILORS!

Hundreds of sailors march out to the tune of Anchors Aweigh and stand at attention on stage and in the balcony. It's always gives a nice feeling to see America's best before us.
The sailors on our show tonight were from the:
USS Barry
USS Anzio
USS Iwo Jima
USS De Wert
USS Halyburton
USS Monterey
And the Naval Air Station

Also berthed in New York City this week:
USS Carney
USS Mahan
USS Shamal
ONR Starfish
USCGC Reliance
USCGC Katherine Walker

This just in: Dave has learned how tonight's band got the name "blink-182." They were originally called simply "Blink," but then they discovered a band in Ireland had the same name. They then decided to add the number 182 to the name because a certain word was said 182 times in the film, "Scarface." What is that word? Dave won't say it, but I'll write it for you cryptically. "Givl."
Now you know the rest of the story.

I was trying to look up this information on the internet. Then someone suggested, "Why don't we just ask them?"

TOP TEN: Things You Don't Want To Hear At A Gas Station - we sent a guy to a local gas station with a hidden camera and listened in as he said things you wouldn't want to hear at a gas station.
#9. "Maybe it's the gas fumes talking, but you're kinda hot."
#7. "For an extra ten bucks, I'll pump your gas without pants."
#2. "Good luck figuring out what I did to your engine."
#1. "I checked your fluids. Now you check mine."

IS THIS ANYTHING? Behind the scrim is something. Sometimes it's nothing. Sometimes it's something. What is it tonight? The scrim rises and we find . . . MARINES! Marines from the 2nd Marine Division aboard the USS Iwo Jima. They stand at attention, then march out.
Dang, Marines look good!

Back from commercial, Dave says there are two people you can't push around. You can't push the Marines around and you can't push Oprah around.

DARRELL HAMMOND: From "Saturday Night Live." This fall will be his 10th season on the program. He must be approaching some sort of record.
He's a very easy guest.
"Did you see the Bush speech the other night?" Darrell will then say something about Bush, followed by a very good impersonation of Bush saying something unintentionally funny.
He says Bush has a "sneeze of a thought." He gives an example of Bush saying "Geez," coupled with a sneeze, tripled with a suppressed laugh.
"Does John Kerry have a chance?" Darrell says something funny about John Kerry, then does a very good impersonation of John Kerry saying something unintentionally funny.
He says John Kerry speaks as if he's doing "Les Miserables."
Rumsfeld? The man will not break, will not bend.
Clinton? His memoir has a centerfold.
Chris Matthews giving a college commencement speech: "Glad I'm not you."
Terminator 3: it's getting weak, these Terminators. The catchphrase in T3 was "Talk to the hand!" What's next? "Oh, no you don't!"
Trump: The guy believes in himself like no man he's ever seen.

ACT 5

BLINK-182: From their self-titled CD, blink-182 performed "Down."

So If I have this right, CBS is willing to delay their regularly scheduled programming for a country music show, but not for a speech by the President of the United States of America. Friday, May 28, 2004
Show #2180

Andy Dick; and Bob Woodward.
PLUS: Stump the Band; Will It Float; a Top Ten list; and who is on cape?

It's the fastest growing music sensation, it's Stump the Band.
STB #1. Chris Ericson of Beacon, New York. He's a health inspector. His song: "Sittin in the High Chair."
Will Lee jumps at the chance to do this song, as he is quite confident he knows the tune. Borrowing from his knowledge of the Beatles, Will sings to the tune of "I Am A Walrus."

"Sitting in a high chair,
Waiting for my food to come.
Baby made a fuss cause
Yellow matter custard
Tasted mean like mustard
Spitting out my pabulum
Cancel the Egg Man
I want my Teddy Bear
Sitting in a high chair
Goo-Goo-Ga-Joob."

STB#2: Linda Morrison of Lakeland, Florida. Linda is here celebrating her daughter's birthday.
Linda's song: "Hobby Horse."
Paul says he knows it. It's a song he once did to open for Dinah Shore down at the shore.
His performance doesn't come close to what Linda was looking for.

STB#3: Lieutenant J.G. Heath Richardson of Suffolk, Virgina.
Lieutenant Richardson is a Naval Officer on the USS Iwo Jima. He looks inspiring in his Navy whites.
Lieutenant Richardson's song: "Little Ol' Rabbit."
Paul says he knows this one. Singing to the tune of Prince's "Raspberry Beret":

"Little Ol' Rabbit'
Can't you hip hop no more
Little Ol' Rabbit
Go Ask Alice
Take Some Cialis
Then You'll find
You'll hip hop like before."

WILL IT FLOAT? Item: a 48-ounce porterhouse steak. Discuss.

TOP TEN: Signs You're Watching a Lame Disaster Movie - go ahead and make up your own, then compare with the professionals.

ANDY DICK: Dressed in a nice cool blue pin-striped suit. You can see Andy in the new MTV program "The Assistant," which premieres July 12th. He can also be seen on ABC's "Less Than Perfect."

ON CAPE: Vice President of CBS Late Night Programming, East Coast, Vinnie Favale.

BOB WOODWARD: author of the bestselling book, "Plan of Attack." This is Mr. Woodward's 10th book on the New York Times Bestsellers List.
When you watch him Friday night, tell me if you think he sounds a lot like George Miller. A quick Google Search turned up:
George Miller was born in Seattle, Washington.
Bob Woodward was born in Geneva, Illinois.
Not a match.

And that was our show for Friday, May 28, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

My baseball surprise team of the year is the San Diego Padres, which I stated at the beginning of the season. As of Thursday morning, they were tied for first in the NL West with the L.A. Dodgers.

Other things I'm watching this year in Major League Baseball is:
-Derek Jeter's steady rise in his batting average.
-Detroit Tiger pitcher Mike Maroth who had a record of 9-21 last year. He was the first major leaguer in 23 years to lose 20 games in a season. Maroth was 3-0 to open the year and I had early hope of his making the All-Star team. He's currently 4-3.
-Nothing against A-Rod, but I hope Alfonso Soriano has better numbers than him this year.
Speaking of Yankee shortstop Derek Jeter: Early in the year in the middle of his 0-32 stint, the Yankees were playing the Boston Red Sox. There was a foul pop by the 1st base dugout. Yankee catcher ran a long ways for it, circled under it, and then dropped it. I noticed immediately, and the announcer mentioned it some time later, that is should have been 1st baseman Jason Giambi's ball. If he showed some hustle and a desire to catch the ball, he would have called Posada away and made the play. What went unnoticed by the announcers and probably most anybody else who was watching the game, was Derek Jeter's proximity to the dropped ball. If the ball had popped out of Posada's glove in a different direction, Jeter would have been there to make the catch.
Why was Jeter way over by the 1st base dugout on a foul pop-up when he plays shortstop? Because Derek Jeter is never a spectator when he is on the ball field. He knows there is always something for him to do on every batted ball, no matter where the ball is hit, no matter what the situation.

NEXT WEEK'S PREVIOUSLY VIEWED PROGRAMS:
MONDAY, MAY 31: From April 13, 2004; Show #2152. Chris Rock and from the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus, the Upside Down Act. Plus: Biff at Yankee Spring Training.
TUESDAY, JUNE 1: From April 29, 2004; Show #2159. Kelly Ripa; and Jenny Finch.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 2: From February 11, 2004; Show #2120. Adam Sandler and Eve.
THURSDAY, JUNE 3: From May 24, 2003. Show #2176. Nicole Kidman; and Avril Lavigne. Plus: a top ten from the cast of 'The Sopranos.'
FRIDAY, JUNE 4: From April 12, 2004. Show #2151. Billy Crystal; and Alex Rodriguez. Plus: More With Les.

Check your Wahoo Archives and make your plans accordingly.