John Kerry is riding high in the Democratic primaries and looks to be the surefire winner as his party's candidate for November. I'm more than a bit troubled by this, especially since what I heard him say just the other day.

"I will never / tell the truth about / what we're going to do in this country."

Come to think of it, he sounds like the only honest politician out there.

Lots of talk about President Bush's military record during the Vietnam war. Did he or did he not fulfill his National Guard duties during the early 1970s? The White House release some records yesterday and today they released rare, never before seen footage of President Bush in combat. This should answer once and for all any questions as to whether he served or not.
We see the video from a Rambo movie. George W. Bush's head is crudely cut out and placed over the head of Rambo, . . . John Rambo. If the White House is trying to fool anybody, they are not fooling this writer. George W. Bush is left handed and the figure we saw shooting the machine gun was using his right hand. Something's not right here. I question the veracity of the footage shown.

CBS MAILBAG - assisting in the presentation of the letters is Monty/Smitty/Stephanie dressed as a member of the 1980 gold medal winning U.S. Olympic hockey team. The film, "Miracle" is in theaters now.

LETTER #1: From Kay Reese of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
"Dear Dave, While I was watching your show on my little black and white TV, I noticed that you look more goofy in black and white than you do in color. Why do you think that is?"
Dave is unsure but his curiosity is piqued. He wonders if anyone is in the Control Room who could change the color picture on the monitor to black and white. Is there anyone in the Control Room. Late Show oft' Emmy nominated director Jerry Foley says "we're here" and turns the shot into black and white. Dave looks at himself in the monitor and notices no difference. What does Paul think? We get a shot of Paul who appears bloated and chubbed out. Paul says Dave looks no different to him either in black and white. With that settled, we go back to color.

Before presenting the 2nd letter, Smitty offers this little fact about the 1980 U.S. Olympic team.
- "In the 1980 Winter Olympics, the U.S. hockey team defeat the Soviet Union 4-3, and two days later defeated Finland 4-2 to win the Gold Medal." Applause!

LETTER #2: From Ray Rejimball of Randolph, New Jersey
"Dear Dave, What are your Valentine's Day plans?"
Dave plans on keeping it simple, spending some time with his wonderful family. Our announcer Alan Kalter has other ideas and plans on keeping a long-held Valentine's Day tradition.
Alan says Valentine's Day is his favorite day of the year. "It's that day when romance blooms within my heart, and I want the whole to know," he reads off the cue card. He then rubs his chin, which is the universal sign for a memory sequence to come. We fade to a video clip of Alan at a bus stop. Two women walk by. He eyes a third and approaches her, saying something in hopes of attracting his prey. The woman quickly pulls out a can of mace and sprays it into the face of our red-headed announcer. Alan withers to the ground in agony. "Happy Valentine's Day" rises across the screen.

Before presenting the 3rd letter, Smitty offers this little fact about the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team.
- "Two weeks pri . . ." Dave stops her. He wants the fact that is third from last. Smitty waits for the proper adjustments to be made.
- "Kurt Russell plays . . ." No, that's the wrong one. Some more shuffling and straightening.
- "Do you believe in miracles?" Dave answers, "YES." Smitty continues, "82% of Americans say they do."

Dave feels that wasn't really worth all the trouble.

LETTER #3: From Michael Newell of East Lansing, Michigan
"Dear Dave, Now that the terror alert has gone back down to yellow, what should I do with my excess duct tape?"
Don't rest yet, Michael. Just last week, Ricin was found in the mailroom of the United States Senate. In fact, now would be a good time to check in with our mailroom to see if everything is okay. Do we have a camera up there? We cut to the mailroom to find our mailroom guy dressed head to toe in a HazMat protective uniform. He is busily handling the mail. Dave asks, "Have we gotten any suspicious-looking letters lately?" Tom, our mailguy, says, "Dave, you've been getting poisoned letters every day for nice years." Tom shakes an envelope from which white dust falls.

LETTER #4: From Steve Desanto of Bedford, Texas
"Dear Dave, How do you stay physically fit?"
Dave says he runs and watches what he eats. A lot of people like that Atkins diet, but saw an odd commercial promoting it. Dave brought a copy of the promo in with him today and decided to share it with us. We go to the video clip to find a Dr. Rothstein sitting at his desk in a white buttoned shirt. Dr. Rothstein is a spokesman for Atkins Nutritionals, Inc. He delivers a message from Atkins Nutritionals, Inc.

Dr. Rothstein: "For years, we here at Atkins Nutritionals, Inc., have encouraged Americans to eat large quantities of red meat, eggs, and butter. I, myself, have been on the Atkins diet for several years and have achieved sensible, steady weight loss while enjoying all my favorite foods: chicken fried steak, barbeque beef ribs, 36 ounce London broil sauteed in butter, chicken fat sandwiches and for dessert, sugar dipped butter sticks Here's how the diet works. . ." Suddenly, Dr. Rothstein's heart explodes, blood gushing out from his chest. "Oh, crap. That ain't good," the doctor deadpans.

And that was mailbag for tonight.

TOP TEN: Perks of Winning the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. -The 128th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show was held at Madison Square Garden Monday and Tuesday. "Best in Show" went to Josh, a 155-pound Newfoundland. Josh bested 2,500 purebreds for the title. This was Josh's last competition. He will now retire. Dave says Josh can spend the rest of his life chasing cars and humping the couch. Dave thinks for a moment and adds, ". . . . just like Uncle Earl."
And here to present tonight's Top Ten list, your 2004 Westminster Kennel Club Best In Show winner, Josh and his handler Michelle Ostermiller.
#9. He's been invited to the White House to drink out of the toilet.
#7. Mayor Bloomberg has given him special permission to smoke indoors.
#6. That old slipper Josh chewed on? I just sold it on ebay for $500
#3. Fun to call the Red Sox and ask, "So have you ever won anything?"

After the top ten, Dave walks over and makes nice with Josh, giving him a basket of dog biscuits and a dozen roses to Michelle Ostermiller. Upon returning to the desk, Dave says Josh smelled great, like a Christmas tree lot. I Played the Dave and guessed Dave would say to Adam Sandler when he sat down, "You know, you smell like a Christmas tree lot as well."

ADAM SANDLER: He's in the film, "50 First Dates," which opens Friday. Dave didn't say he smelled like a Christmas tree lot. Adam got married recently. He learned an urban legend that says a wedding ring on a man is like a chick magnet. For some reason, it's believed women love a man with a wedding band. Adam tried it. Soon after getting married, he would walk into a bar, hold up his ringed finger and shout, "Who wants to make out with me?" Nobody ever took him up on his offer.

Adam had 500 of his family and friends at his wedding but, unfortunately, his wife wanted to be married on the beach and Adam doesn't have a home that could provide that. Luckily, Dick Clark offered his house for the ceremony and reception. Did Adam see Dick Clark at the wedding? Yes, but it was very embarrassing because Dick Clark kept running onto the dance floor asking, "So, how do you like the song?" That wasn't true, of course, but Adam does admit he saw Dick in the driveway and he gave Adam one of his little salutes.
Honeymoon? Of course, in Hawaii. Adam was nervous the whole time. It seemed his wife wanted to go all the way. "What's up with that?" he wondered.

Life is going great for Adam but he worries how his not-yet-conceived children will react to having so much money. Adam didn't have much growing up. If the family ever went out to dinner and one of the kids wanted another soda, they got slapped and admonished, "Time your drinks! French fry, French fry, sip." You got to make your one soda last the meal.
Two sad events have befallen Adam recently. Last year his father died. Adam wanted to do something special for his father so before the wedding he asked his dad who his favorite singer was. His father said, "Leon Redbone." Adam had Leon come to the wedding and sing a song especially for his dad. Adam's mom elbowed his dad and said, "What, you couldn't say Pavarotti?"

And just a few weeks ago, Adam's beloved dog Meatball passed away. Adam had a big ceremony for the dog and actually held Shiva for his pet. About 100 people came. He's glad his father wasn't around to see this. He knows how his father would react: "JUST BURY HIM ALREADY! IT'S A DOG!"

If I owned a dog, I think I would name it 'Shiva.'

Going in and out of the commercial break, we see Adam's other dog Matzoball lying down in the green room with his paws pointing to the ceiling. He looked very relaxed.

Before leaving, Adam performs a song he wrote in memory of his father. Some of the verses included:

"Right away they started on a family,
Three smart kids popped out of mom's tummy.
But then one steamy night
Dad forgot to wear his 'raincoat.'
Nine months later out came the dummy."

"So dad thanks for letting me stay up late to watch Johnny Carson
Thanks for swimming with me at Livingston Park
And thanks for telling me to always punch a kid in the face
If he made an anti-Semetic remark"

EVE: She's a Grammy winning rap artist and one of the stars in the #1 film in the country, "Barbershop 2: Back in Business." I missed most of the interview as I had to sneak out to make sure Tony Cue Cards had Dan Aykroyd on his thank you card.
Eve is dating a special guy at the moment but isn't sure if he'll still be special a year from now. Dave says if things don't work out to give him a call.

Eve's second CD sold 4 million copies and won a Grammy for a single duet with Gwen Stefani. She recorded her first album in the tenth grade. (I brought my first album in the 9th grade)
I'm looking at the Eve notes and if you're wondering if there should have been a 2nd Barbershop movie, the answer is an obvious yes. The first one cost $12 million to make. It made $75 million in theaters and an additional $102 million on video.

You can also see Eve on the UPN's "Eve."

And that was our Adam and Eve show.

Before saying goodnight and closing the show, Dave thanks his guests, adding that Adam Sandler did not smell like a Christmas Tree lot. DING! I won at Play the Dave. Sure the Christmas tree lot reference was about a half hour delayed and was actually the opposite of what I predicted but the idea and the connection was there. The judges in the shack ruled it a hit and a successful, "Played the Dave."

And that was our show for Wednesday, February 11, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

So what were some of those other 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey facts?
-Two weeks prior to the "miracle" on ice, the Soviet Union defeated the U.S. Olympic hockey team 10-3 in an exhibition game.
-Sports Illustrated magazine voted the Gold Medal victory as the "Greatest Sports Moment of the Century."
-Kurt Russell plays Coach Herb Brooks in the film, "Miracle." Other roles played by Kurt Russell include Snake Plissken in "Escape from New York" and Dexter Riley in "The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes."
-Defenseman Ken Murrow won an Olympic gold medal and three months later won a Stanley Cup with the New York Islanders
-Coach Herb Brooks was the last player cut from the 1960 gold medal winning U.S. Hockey team.

Beatle memories from February, 1964
Tony Reyer of Silver Spring, Maryland:

"Here's an extremely sketchy Beatles memory ... my mother was pregnant with me at the time of the Beatles first appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show. That Sunday night she watched the show and had such a rousing goodtime, she went into labor. I was born the next morning on Mon Feb 10th, 1964. Fortunately, she already had a name picked out for me or else I might have been called Ringo Reyer."

Bruce Alter of Fairfax Station, Virginia:

"Mike, if you'd like to listen to some of Tony Randall's narration of the Beatles tribute special "The Beatle Forever" go to http://aprilwinchell.com/multimedia/ media/mp3/Within%20Without.mp3 to hear him introduce Anthony Newley singing "Within You, Without You."

From Don Giller

Here's what I've found so far:
http://www.otisfodder.com/365days/01-2.html
Do you miss the variety specials of the 70's? Remember this one, "Beatles Forever" from 1977? Well, there's no wonder why you should. This one never hit a reissue on any format (including BETA). This special starred a ton of folks, but this performance by Anthony Newley (with his over-dramatic vocal stylings) take the cake. The video clip of this is a laugh riot in itself with Anthony's eyebrows doing most of the singing (as they move in a hypnotic motion that send you into a pure Zen state). It's also very important to note that while Anthony sings this song he is in a Grecian bath room, in a toga, fog covering the ground and there are ladies in waiting! I just wondered if any of the fab four caught this one on the tube in '77? I took the audio off a second or third generation video copy and cleaned it up a bit for you (but was that really necessary?!?) Tony Randall introduces the piece and I tagged on the ending of the special with Tony naming off all the stars that were on this travesty."
- Otis Fodder

"Tony Randall sings the Beatles!
A search of the web turned this little tidbit up.
A quote from:http://www.apologetix.com/bio4.html
"Then at the end of 1977, I saw a T.V. tribute to the Beatles. I remember seeing Tony Randall sing "Honey Pie!"