On our show tonight is Nicole Richie. She stars on the FOX reality show, "The Simple Life 2: Road Trip" with Paris Hilton. Dave says Paris Hilton is the heiress to the Hilton Hotel fortune. Dave says he's the heir to the Stadium Motor Lodge fortune. Some jokes work for me no matter how many times it's told. Any reference to the Stadium Motor Lodge always brings me a smile. Another sure-fire funny reference for me is the size of Ted Kennedy's big head.

During the pre-show Q&A, Dave was asked what his plans are for this weekend's Gay Pride Parade in New York? Dave says he and Paul will do what they do at every Gay Pride Parade: ride a float dressed as Liza Minnelli and David Gest.
Hearing that the Gay Pride Parade is this weekend, I turned to who ever would listen and said they should all attend this parade. For entertainment value, there may be no better parade. Lots of fun. I worked it as a Police Officer back in the day. After being assigned my first year, I put in for it for my remaining years on the force.

Dave can't let go of this "Jeopardy" thing. Ken Jennings has won 14 straight times and is up to $472,000 in winnings. But something ain't right. Take a look at what Dave Tivo'd from last night's game.
Answer: "Unlike the honey bee, this large bee doesn't die when it stings, but can sting numerous times."
Ken gives the question, "Who is Lou Dobbs?'" Obviously that is incorrect, but Alex says, "Lou Dobbs, right!"

And did you hear about those guys in California who built a rocket and shot it into space? It is the first privately financed manned flight into space. Dave said a couple guys built it in their backyard and he was able to procure a video from CNN. We see our beautiful blue orb. In the foreground floats a station wagon with wings.

More from "Jeopardy."
Answer: "Another name for a handbag or purse?"
Ken's question: "What is the Tower of London?
Somehow that was marked as correct. But yet, they get away with it.

GEORGE W. BUSH LIE:
-From a May 3rd campaign stop in Niles, Michigan:
-Answering a question: "I don't know the specifics of your request, but I'll look into it."

SUPER TRUMP OR MONKEY: With returning champ Jennie Ford. Back on April 15, Jennie Ford participated in Trump or Monkey. She won, our first and only winner. She was able to pick out the photo of Donald Trump in a photo array of three; two of the photos being that of a monkey. For picking Donald Trump, Jennie won a trip to Acapulco. She was with us tonight to participate once again, and she was also here so we could get something out of the money we spent sending her to Acapulco. Jennie has some photos of her stay at the Qualton Club Acapulco. She had photos of the pool, the nightclubs, and the nightclubs. And tonight, she's to play Super Trump or Monkey. In Super Trump or Monkey, we have 6 partially obscured photos on a board, with only one being Donald Trump. And what is Jennie Ford playing for tonight? A Cuisinart Citrus Juicer. Jennie studies the Super Trump or Monkey board and eventually picks the photo at the bottom center. Rupert reveals the photo and it's . . . . Donald Trump! She wins again. Congratulations, Jennie Ford! Enjoy the Cuisinart.

Jennie Ford reminded me of someone. Not till this morning did I realize it was Sandra Bullock. And now that I type this, I reconsider. I think she may be reminding me of the new babe on "The View."

Back from commercial, Dave says that since we were speaking of firing off rockets earlier in the show, he would like to inform us that on July 4th our friend Don Rickles will be dropping his pants and firing a rocket.

IS THIS ANYTHING: It's the Tipsy Twins. Pretty and shapely, the Tipsy Twins pose and then make a two-women pyramid, stretching their limbs in a number of directions. Dave asks Paul, "So, is this anything?" A stunned-speechless Paul can only mutter, "Yeah." Very funny.
My favorite part of the performance? Paul and the band's accompanying music of "Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This."

TOP TEN: Thoughts That Went Through Ken Griffey, Jr's Mind as he Hit His 500th Home Run. And to present tonight's top ten list, the newest member of the 500 Home Run Club, Cincinnati Reds Ken Griffey, Jr.
Ken Griffey, Jr. and the Reds are in town to play the Mets at Shea Stadium this week. We had Ken via satellite.
#9. "I owe it all to Dr. Phil."
#6. "I'm five percent of the way to 10,000 home runs!"
#5. "Now I gotta go on Ebay to buy the ball back."

Ken Griffey, Jr. - was the youngest to hit 350, 400, and 450 home runs.
-the 1997 American League MVP
-voted the 1990's Player of the Decade
-a member of Major League Baseball's All-Century Team.

Tonight's Top Ten was taped earlier in the day at Shea Stadium. During the taping, we had to keep stopping to allow for noise from the overhead planes flying out of LaGuardia Airport to pass by. What a dump of a stadium. After the noise, what I find most annoying about the place is the orange seats. Orange is a terrible color for seating at a stadium. Every unoccupied seat is like a neon sign proclaiming an empty stadium. Anaheim Stadium, or whatever the stadium the Angels play in is called, has bright red seats which have the same effect. You gotta to with the dark blue or green. But what do I know? Hey, hold it a second. Come to think of it, I do know something. In college, my major was psychology and one of the course I took was Sensory and Perception. Using what I learned from that class, I changed the look of New York Knick great Patrick Ewing forever.

Here is my story. I've told it here before but I really have nothing tonight so I've decided to repeat it. When Patrick Ewing arrived on the Knicks, he wore white wrist bands from his wrists almost up to his elbows. When he ran up and down the court, my eye was immediately drawn to the bright white wrist bands on his dark pumping arms. I figured if my eye was attracted to the wrist bands, so too must the referee's. I theorized that if the ref's eye was already drawn to the arms and hands of Patrick Ewing, the referee would be more likely to "see" Ewing committing a common hand foul. During the basketball off-season, I sat down with pen and paper and wrote a letter to the President of the New York Knicks, Ernie Grunfeld. I figured if I wrote to Coach Pat Riley or to Patrick Ewing himself, the letter would get lost in the shuffle. Ernie Grunfeld, a former player, would have a better chance of reading and heeding my theory. The next year, game 1, Patrick Ewing was wearing dark blue wrist bands.

And now you know the rest of the story. How I got on this subject, I don't know. But look how much space I used up!

KEVIN KLINE: Kevin stars in the July 2nd release of the film, "De-Lovely," a film about the life of Cole Porter. Dave wonders if the kids today know who Cole Porter is? He's mentions how a kid in Trenton couldn't place the name Bruce Springsteen, how could you expect kids to know Cole Porter. Kevin agrees, telling a story of how today's teens don't know the Rolling Stones. I shake my head and wonder how kids could be so ill-informed. I shake my head bewildered. And then when I say I never heard of the Von Bondies, they look at me and wonder how I could be so ill-informed. They shake their head bewildered. All I know is that a lot of the kids here are excited about the Von Bondies tonight. I don't know. I guess I have to stop getting out of the house and start listening to the radio up in my room some more.

ACT 5: Music from Vernon Reid. His new CD, "Known Unknown."

NICOLE RICHIE: She's from the FOX reality show, "The Simple Life 2: Road Trip", with Paris Hilton. Paris became famous from a recent video. Nicole became famous for pouring bleach on a pool table in one of the episodes. Nicole must have the flair to be an interior designer because the bleach actually made the pool table look more snazzy! The young Nicole is one year clean from her heroin addiction. How could something like that happen? Let's see: young, money, lots of free time, and wanting to be cool. When I was young, I was two of the above and I ended up abusing cheap beer. If I had all 4, I'm not saying I would have dabbled in the heroin but I probably would have drank a lot more green bottled beer. Dave says when he was 21 he wanted to be Zorro. He gave up the dream when he had trouble growing the pencil-mustache.
Nicole Richie - on FOX "The Simple Life 2: Road Trip" Wednesday nights.

And that was our show for Tuesday, June 22, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

Before leaving work last night, I stayed around to watch "Jeopardy." The guy Ken Jennings won again. He's up to $486,000. I got an answer right which all three contestants got wrong. I love when that happens. The question involved math and baseball; something to do with ordinal numbers. I knew it to be 1st, 2nd, and 3rd.

Yesterday I listed the bands that performed out on 53rd Street. I sensed that I left one off but couldn't place it. I was right. I did leave one out. The missing band on 53rd Street - I forgot about Motley's Crue. Many wrote in to inform of the omission. Most of the e-mails either ended or began with, "Dude!"

I got one of those things in my e-mail the other day.
Life in the United States 100 years ago in 1904
-the life expectancy was 47 years old
-only 14% of the homes in the U.S. had a bathtub.
-Only 8% of the homes had a telephone
-A three-minute call from Denver to New York City cost $11.
-There were only 8,000 cars in the U.S. and only 144 miles of paved roads.
-The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
-Alabama, Mississippi, Iowa, and Tennessee were each more heavily populated than California.
-The average wage in the U.S. was 22 cents an hour.
-The average U.S. worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
-More than 95% of all births in the U.S. took place at home.
-Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.
-The five leading causes of death in the U.S. were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke
-The population of Las Vegas, Nevada was 30.
-Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and iced tea hadn't been invented.
-Only 6% of all Americans had graduated high school.
-Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at corner drugstores.
-There were only about 230 reported murders in the entire U.S.

Makes you wonder how Americans will look back on 2004 in a hundred years.