Dave had a very enjoyable week off. Last Sunday he sat back and enjoyed the Argent Mortgage Indy 300 at the Kansas Speedway where Rahal/Letterman driver Buddy Rice won for the 2nd time this year, defeating teammate Vitor Meira by .0051 of a second in a photo finish. We see a clip of the thrilling moment where Buddy barely beats Vitor. How close was it? After 300 miles, the difference between Rice and Meira was about the distance between the L and N in Letterman.

Not sure what brought this up but Dave had a bit of trivia for Paul and the audience, asking what is the most frequently used alias. Paul says "Mitch Lubart?" That's incorrect. Dave says it is actually "Clifford Weintraub."

My curiosity piqued me into dong a quick Google check on Mitch Lubart/Lubard/Laubard/Laubart/etc. and Clifford Weintraub. I found nothing on Mitch, but this popped up on some genealogy website under Clifford Weintraub

A request from Doug Weintraub on October 12, 1998 at 10:57:36: "I am looking for relatives of Clifford Weintraub. He moved form New Orleans to Indiana in the early 1900's."

This week in Pamplona, Spain, they celebrated the San Fermin Festival with the Running of the Bulls. And as is tradition here in New York City, we celebrated with the annual Running of the Cabs. We see the traditional clip of the Running of the Cabs down 53rd Street.

LESLEY STAHL REACTION OF THE NIGHT: From last night's installment of "60 Minutes" with Lesley Stahl interviewing John Kerry and John Edwards. Lesley asks John Kerry if he is concerned that former President Bill Clinton will steal his thunder with the release of his book, "My Life." John Kerry responds with a surprising, "I hope he does!" Back to Lesley, whose eyes pop wide in a startle. BOING!

MORE WITH LES: Dave takes a moment to catch on things with his old friend, the Co-Chief Operating Officer of Viacom, Mr. Lesley Moonves. It was against our comedic formula but we indeed put two Lesley bits back to back.
We learn what Les did on his recent vacation: Went to Spain. He lived went to college in Spain for a year back in his early days. Wow, a year in Spain during his college days. When I went to college in Cortland, New York, I barely had enough change to spend at the local Champion Outlet in Binghamton 22 miles away. If you're keeping score at home, that's another difference between me and Les.
Why did he spend a year in Spain going to college? Les says he wanted to get out of the United States . . . . because people were after him.
Before Dave continues with the phone chat, he first asks Les to "please turn your radio down." Always makes me laugh.

Which reminds me, I was listening to sports radio the other day. Most of the phone calls sounded like this: "Th kees are d'g m ter. (crackle) Do y th maybe th R 'son? (static)" The host would then say, "I'm sorry but you're breaking up. Try again later." It went like this for about an hour. Each caller would say hello, tell how much they enjoy the show, how long they've been a fan of the show, say something about the weather, and then when told to get to the point, the phone line would break up.

Les is hard at work as the Co-COO of Viacom. What's Viacom run? They've got Paramount Pictures, MTV, BET, Showtime, Simon and Shuster publishing, UPN. Dave asks what about Spike TV. Les says, "Yup, we got Spike TV." And what is Spike TV? Les says it's a TV network for men. (Isn't that ESPN?) Dave wonders if there is a need for a network for men. I agree with Dave. All I need is ESPN and 11:30 PM Thursday night HBO.
What's new with "Big Brother"? Dave wants to know how the contestants are chosen. Les says the selections are made by a crack staff of Big Brother contestant choosers, and then Les comes in with some final input. That's usually how bosses operate. The underlings spend hours and hours researching the best collection and combination for a project, taking everything possible into account, and then the boss comes in and alters the delicate structure on a whim over something like, "I didn't like her French-braid." One half of the staff will fume over the move. The other half of the staff will regale the boss for such a wise decision and marvel how he could see things so clearly. The 2nd half of the staff eventually gets promoted. In the end, half the contestants on "Big Brother" are convicted felons.
Dave thanks Les for taking time out from his busy schedule and, for talking to us, rewards Les with a $100 gift certificate to Del Frisco's Double Eagle Steak House.

WHERE THEY WOULD HAVE GONE ON THEIR SUMMER VACATION: It's something new here at the Late Show. It's "Where They Would Have Gone For Their Summer Vacation." The scrim rises and we see Biff Henderson sitting at a small table. A crystal ball lies in front of him. Says Biff, "Tonight I will guess where the late Charles Bronson would have gone for his summer vacation. I will now go into a trance. Do not be alarmed."
As Biff goes deep into trance, Paul plays eerie swami music. The image of Charles Bronson appears in the crystal ball. When Biff suddenly comes out of his trance, Paul stops the music. Biff says, "Mohegan Sun Resort and Casino in Uncasville, Connecticut."
Come to think of it, I'm not sure if that was Charles Bronson seen in the crystal ball of if it was Late Show Security Chief, Bill Delace.

TOP TEN: Ways to Irritate Alex Trebek.
-Alex Trebek has been the host of "Jeopardy!" since 1984.
-And to present tonight's Top Ten list, the man who won over $900,000 on "Jeopardy!" Ken Jennings.
#9. Instead of responding, get his attention by throwing nickels at his head. #8. Buzz in without using your hands.
#6. Whenever he says the word 'potpourri,' you mumble 'woman.'
#5. Tell him he's no Wink Martindale.
Ken Jennings has won 29 consecutive games, earning over $900,000. The old "Jeopardy" record is a 7-game total of $185,000.

KRISTIN DAVIS: Her "Sex and The City" can now be seen on the TBS cable channel. Will "Sex" ever gather once again for a movie? Kristin says at one time it looked like a done deal but now someone is not interested. Which one? Hmmm. Turns out to be Kim, the blonde one. My guess is they wouldn't provide enough soft lighting during her scenes. I suggested they use the Angie Dickinson body-double from "Dressed To Kill" but no one listens to me.
Dave asks if Kristin ever appeared nude in "Sex and The City" and if so, how much and how often? Kirstin answers, "If you were really watching hard . . . ." Did you see it coming? Dave interrupts, "Oh, I was watching hard . . . ." When the laughter eventually slowed, Dave says "I thought that was the way everyone watched."
So what's next for Kristin? She says she hopes to produce a new show for HBO. Dave excitedly exclaims, "Really! What is it?" Kristin just as excitedly answers, "I don't know! But I would like to produce a new show for HBO."

SACHA BARON COHEN: He's the Ali G guy from HBO's "Da Ali G Show." I think the show is sort of like "The Kennedy Experiment," or "Spy TV" or "Punk'd" or "Candid Camera." I usually find these shows to be rude and mean spirited, taking advantage of unknowing and I end up feeling sorry for the stooges. But on "Da Ali G Show" he makes fun and pokes fun and ambushes famous people, people with diplomas and stuff, such as Boutros Boutros Ghali and Pat Buchanan. He basically asks clever people stupid questions. We see a clip of "Ali G" interviewing Pat Buchanan, where Ali "mistakenly" references BLT when he means to say WMD. A confuses Buchanan goes with the "mistake" and uses BLT when giving his thoughts on Iraq and the war. Quite amusing and somewhat unnerving. So what's next for Sacha? He's currently working with Ricky Gervais on a show called, "The 11 O'Clock Show."

ACT 5: It's hot! It's summer! It's time for frozen yogurt! Yes, Frozen Yogurt from the fine people at Tasti D-Lite. Tasti D-Lite Frozen Yogurt: the freshest, best-tasting, only all natural, low-calorie, low-fat frozen dessert on the market. You Go for Yogurt, once you try Tasti D-Lite.

And that was our show for Monday, July 12, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

I went to the Drive-In movies Sunday night to see Shrek 2. I love the drive-in and try to make the one-hour trip to the nearest one at least once a year. This time two other families joined us in our venture to Warwick, New York.
The Warwick Drive-In has 3 screens. Screen 1 was showing Spider-Man 2 and White Chicks. Screen 2 was Shrek 2 and King Arthur. And Screen 3 was Anchorman. From where I was sitting I could watch either Shrek or Anchorman. If I had arrived early enough I could have positioned my car for a clear viewing of all 3 screens. And with the audio now supplied via FM radio rather than the little speakers on the poll, one could dial in to any of the 3 movies from the one location.
And all day today I've been singing, "Let's all go to the snack bar, let's all go to the snack bar."

And now my Drive-In Movie story. It was back in high school. 4 car loads were on our way to the local drive-in. What was playing? Didn't matter. We had coolers of beer that had to be addressed. Being a high school student with barely enough funds to satisfy my alcoholic needs, I volunteered to hide in the trunk to avoid paying for the movie. A block from the theater we stopped and I hopped in the trunk. The other 3 cars in our group were doing the same. A half block farther down the street, two other cars were stopped and also "adjusting attendance." Back in those days, the only cars we had were big old clunkers and there was always a lot of room in the trunk because the spare tire was usually already on the car. Once in the dark trunk, I waited patiently as we slowly approached the entrance of the Monsey Drive-In Theater. There must have been a long line because it was stop and go. Stop and go. Stop and go. I was rocked to a restful nap. Once inside the drive-in perimeter, the trunk was opened and I was free to join the rest. Some had beach chairs, some sat inside the car, some sat on the roof. The scene is what high school was like back in the 1970's; cheap nights, cheaper beer. An hour into the movie I realized something was odd. I noticed we weren't at the Monsey Drive-In Theater. We were at the one in West Nyack, 15 miles away. I was confused. What happened? Why weren't we at the Monsey Drive-In and how did we get here? I was told that when we finally got to the entrance of the Monsey Drive-In, it was sold out so we quickly drove to the West Nyack Drive-In. They didn't want to miss the beginning of the movie so to save time they just kept me in the trunk. I didn't realize the 15 minute detour as I was napping in the trunk. I couldn't decide whether to be mad or not, so I decided to simply have another Piels. And that's my Drive-In Movie story.

Urgent message to the Boston Red Sox: Sign Randy Johnson! If you have any chance, no matter what it takes, sign Randy Johnson. Schilling, Johnson, and Martinez 1-2-3 in the playoffs and World Series would be awfully tough to beat. With many of the BoSox big stars going the free agent route at the end of this year, now is the time.
Tell Randy signing with the Yankees will do what? Give them their 27th World Series championship? Big deal. Sign with the Red Sox and Randy can bring them their first Series since 1918. Imagine the celebration. Plus, wouldn't Arizona owner Colangelo love to grind it into Steinbrenner? Now get going.

Perhaps the reason why I forgot to send Late Show online Producers Walter and Jay the Wahoo edition prior to our week off was because I was watching the Red Sox/Yankee game that Thursday night, July 1st, the most thrilling regular season game of the year. That was the game Derek Jeter went flying into the stands after making a catch and coming up all bloody and bruised. Meanwhile, Boston Red Sox All-Star shortstop Nomar Garciaparra sat out the game due . . . . . uhh . . . . I don't know, a sore foot? Anyway, Nomar received some heat hear in New York and I imagine in Boston as well for his sitting out the entire extra-inning game. My biggest disappointment was in the next day's paper. Not once did I read any headline which included "Nomas Garciaparra."

And one last thing about baseball: The Mets Mike Piazza experiment at first base. Piazza does it all wrong. I've mentioned it before, but who cares. When he reaches for the ball, he stretches his legs as wide as he can as if that will enable him to get the ball quicker. He's wrong. Shortening the stride will allow him to stretch his upper body farther. And the other thing he does wrong when he stretching for a thrown ball; he keeps his front leg stiff, not his back leg. He's got it backwards. A stiff front leg provides no balance; no maneuverability. Come on. Hasn't he learned anything being around the baseball field all these years? I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong. Any first base coaches out there? Paging Keith Hernandez, Mr. Keith Hernandez.

My days at the Late Show and here at the Wahoo Gazette may be numbered. I've just been e-mailed a great opportunity to earn up to $50,000 a month! All it takes is an initial investment of $60 in something called "Contagious Marketing." It's quite simple. All I have to do is find a few fellow investors and my $60 should snowball. My future rests with "Contagious Marketing." Once my investment comes to fruition, you can all kiss my ass goodbye!