Downtown Manhattan at the Trapeze School New York in Hudson River Park, we find Stephanie/Smitty/Gunther/Monty preparing to learn all there is to know about the trapeze. Instructing Smitty will be Frederique, a trained professional. The outdoor learning center hugs the Hudson River and has been seen on that Sex and The City show. It also hugs the West Side Highway. “Why is the site so close to highway traffic,” Dave wonders? Frederique can only shrug. She’s not involved in that part of the business. Me, I figure it’s because the drive up business is great. While the two prepare for their first stunt, Dave will put on a show.

GEORGE W. BUSH LIE: Hey, sometimes a politician has to lie, even the most honest. From a July 13th campaign stop in Michigan, we see the President say, “I like to be with the people.”

Have you heard about the rumors concerning John Kerry and John Edwards? It’s hard to believe but it’s equally as hard to ignore. We see a clip entitled, “Kerry/Edwards, Gay?”

The clip is a montage of their time together at rallies and campaign stops. There seems to be a lot of touching going on. Yes, it gets awfully lonely on the road.

To set up the scene downtown, Dave reads the day's weather conditions.
- 77 degrees.
- 60% humidity
- barometric pressure at 29.58 and rising
- wind from the west at 13 mph, gusting to 21 mph.
- visibility: 10 miles.

I’ve been putting together these weather conditions for some time now and I’ve noticed the visibility is no longer categorized as “unlimited.” The maximum distance given by the www.weather.com website is 10 miles. The change was made in the past 6 months.

Now you know the rest of the story.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE KERRY/EDWARDS CAMPAIGN: Some of the more interesting events of the day:
7:00 AM – Kerry and Edwards get up extra early to do each other’s hair.
11:30 AM – At an IHOP outside Memphis, Kerry and Edwards are waited on by Al Gore
Noon – At a Town Hall meeting, Kerry is asked what it’s like to have served heroically in the military.
12:01 PM – Kerry notices the question is being asked by President Bush
2:00 PM – Kerry visits doctor for monthly face-lengthening
6:00 PM – Kerry wins the 5th race at Belmont.
11:30 PM – After a long day, John Kerry quietly bores himself to sleep.

We take a look back at the Trapeze School New York and find Frederique prepared to do a professional fly on the trapeze. Her stunt is called “The Backhand Whip.” She leaps off the platform and away she goes. Releasing her grip from the trapeze, Frederique falls to the net. Ooops, what happened? Apparently nothing. Her simple swing and release was the backhand whip.

When we come back, it’ll be Smitty’s turn.

Standing on the 23 foot high platform, Dave makes the talk with the nervous Gunther/Smitty/Monty. With the winds high, it was hard for Steph and Frederique to hear Dave. Smitty’s first attempt on the flying trapeze will be the knee hang with a back flip dismount. As Frederique barks out instructions and sets the cadence, Gunther concentrates on her first-ever fly on the trapeze. Monty leaps from the platform on within two full swings on the trapeze, Stephanie has maneuvered herself into a fine knee hang. Proving she could do that, it was now time for her back flip dismount. And she performs that perfectly as well. My favorite part of the whole stunt was her getting down from the netting; grabbing the edge of the safety net backhanded and flips over to the ground. I had to pinch myself as I thought I was watching the Hollywood Palace.

We do the top ten as Smitty prepares for her more difficult maneuver: The Catch.

TOP TEN: Signs Bush Might Be Getting Ready To Dump Cheney
#9. Latest bumper stickers read: “Vote for Bush and (to be determined.)”
#4. G.O.P. has spent 20 million dollars on campaign commercials giving exact location of Cheney’s undisclosed location
#1. Bush asked his dad if he still has Quayle’s number.

We find Smitty back on the platform ready to perform. Dave reminds her that the wind is gusting to 21 mph and the barometric pressure is 29.58 inches and falling. A quick check by Dave and he realizes the barometric pressure is rising, not falling. He advises Gunther to make the necessary adjustments. Frederique stands beside Monty offering encouragement and setting the rhythm and coordinating the jump with the catcher of The Catch, some guy named Rob swinging on the other trapeze. Frederique watches Rob closely trying to time Smitty’s jump. Just at the right moment, Frederique orders, “NOW!” Smitty remains still. She doesn’t leave the platform. Frederique tries again. “NOW!” Again Smitty doesn’t feel the right vibe and wisely stays put. Frederique reminds Smitty that she has to jump the moment she says so. A third time Frederique says “NOW!” Smitty leaps from the platform and swings out to meet Rob. Smitty gets into the knee hang position and upon her swing back, releases and is caught by Rob. Success! Great job by Gunter/Smitty/Monty/Stephanie on her very first attempt on the flying trapeze. Congratulations go all around.

CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER: His DVD, Johnson Family Vacation comes out August 10th. Funny guy. I enjoyed his take on being a security guard in the neighborhood. It’s understood that you let your friends help themselves to some of the goods.

Cedric has a 3-year-old son who is currently in pre-pre-kindergarten . . . . and it costs $11,000 a year. Cedric is expecting great things from him when he begins the coloring book curriculum. And they have his son speaking French already. $11,000 to learn French. Cedric says he learned all the French he need from “Lady Marmalade” --- “Voulez-vous couchez avec moi, ce soir?” It’s a lot cheaper, plus, what more do you need to know in French?

Later this summer, Cedric will be in Ireland shooting a film version of The Honeymooners, where he’ll play an African American Ralph Kramden. OK, but why shoot it in Ireland? Something to do with taxes. Not to mention the Guinness.

ACT 5: It’s a slo-motion shot of the successful knee hang and catch by Stephanie.

LAIRD HAMILTON: the surfer dude who produced and is featured in the documentary surfing film, Riding Giants. (sounds like a better title for the Clinton book)

Upon his entrance, my first thought was “Wow, first time in a suit.” He looked so stiff, he reminded me of Wayne Newton on I Love Lucy.

Laird is from a surfing family, his father being pro surfer Bill Hamilton.

Laird is considered by many to be the world’s greatest surfer, yet never competes. Why? He says, “I don’t like to be told what to do.” In competition, there are too many rules. You have to go in the water when you’re told, have to come out when you’re told, and surf when told. Dude, surfing is all about no rules. It’s like pro wrestling.

We see a clip from the film, Riding Giants, and the size of the waves are pretty impressive. As a kid, I would always look forward to ABC’s Wide World of Sports for the surfing competition. It came around a once or twice a year and it was great. The Hawaiian shots of the ladies in bikinis may have added to my interest.

And that was our show for Thursday July 15, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

And here are our Emmy nominations:

Directing: Jerry Foley
Show #2170 – the 4:00 AM show

Up against:
- The Academy Awards
- Bill Maher’s guy
- Chappelle’s Show director
- The Daily Show director
- Elaine Stritch: At Liberty – HBO special

Lighting Direction: Lighting Designer Steven Brill, and Lighting Director Tim Stephenson
Show #2117 – the Friday show following the Tara Dakides incident

Up against:
- A&E in Concert: Paul McCartney in Red Square
- A&E in Concert: Sting
- The Academy Awards
- American Idol Finale
- The Grammy Awards

Technical Direction: Timothy Kennedy
Show #2048 – the New York Philharmonic on the roof.

Up against:
- American Idol
- Late Night with Conan O’Brien
- Saturday Night Live
- The Tonight Show

Writing: The 4:00 AM show

Up against:
- Chappelle’s Show
- Chris Rock: Never Scared
- The Daily Show
- Late Night with Conan O’Brien

Show: The 4:00 AM show (I think)

Up against:
- Chappelle’s Show
- The Daily Show
- Late Night with Conan O’Brien
- Saturday Night Live