Dave saw Miracle this weekend, the film about the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey team. He loved it. All you need for an Academy Award caliber film is a good story nicely expressed. Miracle was that film. I thought of seeing the film but I remember living it and I didn’t want the movie to influence my reality. I want my memory to remain pure.

After watching the Miracle movie and having sports on his mind, Dave gives his views on athletes and steroids. He thinks everyone should take them. He believes we want to see people run as fast as they actually can.

I saw a New Yorker comic the other day. Guy sitting at a bar. Says to guy next to him, “I may be in the minority . . . . but I would have liked to have seen Mantle on steroids.”

I was in college. SUNY Cortland in central New York. I just returned from class. I plopped down in front of the TV set and watched Jerry Girard on WPIX-11 News say, “I’m going to tell you this twice because you’re not going to believe it the first time. The United States Olympic Hockey team just defeated the Soviets. (pause) The United States Olympic Hockey team just defeated the Soviets.” My eyes bulged, my mouth dropped. I ran to my bedroom and grabbed as many quarters and singles I could find and ran to the Stadium, the bar right around the corner. I burst in to the bar and could tell immediately they hadn’t heard. There were only 7 or so inside. I pant, “Turn on the TV! Turn it on!” The bartender looks at me with a puzzled look. He moves slowly to the set. “We beat the Russians!” I say. He stops and looks, “What?!” “Turn on the TV!” I can only say. As he turns on the set, I yell out to the rest of the bar, “WE BEAT THE RUSSIANS! WE BEAT THE RUSSIANS!” Guys walk over to the TV, pool sticks still in hand. In seconds they hear the news. The place goes nuts, as much as a bar with 7 people in the early evening can go nuts. Drinks are poured. Drinks are poured over each other. Minutes later a steady stream of bodies fly into the Stadium. The celebration was beautiful. And somehow my few singles and quarters lasted the entire night.

TEAM RAHAL: Buddy Rice and the Rahal/Letterman racing team, winner of the 88th Indianapolis 500 a month and a half ago, were invited to the White House earlier today to meet the President. Paul asks, “And did they go?” At the meet and greet were Buddy Rice, Bobby Rahal, Indianapolis Motor Speedway President Tony Green, the team members of Rahal/Letterman Racing, and other racing types. I saw the actual feed from the White House during rehearsal and many of us were pleading for the President to get into the car. He never did. The whole thing lasted about 10 minutes, first shaking the hand of Buddy Rice. The President worked his way among those in the center, talking about whatever. We had no audio, only the visual. The President then walked among the Rahal/Letterman team members, spending what seemed to be more time with them, asking questions about the car and shaking lots of hands. Just off camera were a couple photographers who I believe were snapping candid photos of the President with each team member. Four years ago I found myself in the Sound Effects room with Presidential candidate Al Gore when he was here as a guest on the show. He made a quick stop as he was making his way under the theater. I introduced myself as the executive producer. We chatted. A couple weeks later I received a photo of me with Al Gore. I didn’t even know there was a photographer there. I realized then that the President must be constantly having his photo taken, and then those photos are sent to the starry-eyed citizen.

PAT AND THE BOYS: Tonight we’re doing something special. Pat Farmer and his buddy stagehands are on the roof of the Ed Sullivan Theater. Each has in his possession a tube of sunblock with 30 PF. 90 feet below on 53rd Street is a camera. A little later Pat and the boys will attempt to squirt the lotion and hit the camera. Dave says, “You guys go ahead and unscrew your lotion.” Meanwhile, we’ve got a show to put on.

MARTHA STEWART LIVING: Martha Stewart was sentenced to 5 months in prison and people are wondering how that’ll affect her media empire. Dave got an inkling today when he saw this commercial.

We see the opening of Martha Stewart Living. The announcer says, “Coming tomorrow on ‘Martha Stewart Living’ . . . .”. Cut to an empty kitchen. Nothing happening. “That’s tomorrow, only on ‘Martha Stewart Living.’”

GEORGE W. BUSH CRANKY PRESIDENT. We find the President at a July 14th campaign stop in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. He is working the stage and says to someone off camera, “You have any people working here and how many if you do?” We hear a voice asks, “I’m sorry?” The President snaps back, “How many people you got working here?”

CHARTS AND GRAPHS: We got charts. We got graphs. Charts and Graphs: A visualization to help us understand the ratio and relationships of variables on a subject.

Most frequently occurring words in Bill Clinton’s ‘My Life.’
- “The”: 4,843
- “And”: 3,181
- “Gravy”: 1,922

Components of Bling Bling.
- 50% Bling
- 50% Bling

Price breakdown of a $40 barrel of crude oil.
- 3 dollars – oil
- 37 dollars – barrel

Reasons people don’t watch ‘Star Trek’
- 60% -- It’s for nerds
- 39% -- The show’s stupid
- 1% -- My parents were killed by Klingons and it’s still too painful

United States Staircase Production, 1850-2000.
- the graph escalates one step at a time from 1850 through 2000.

An audible is called to abort the Charts and Graphs and to check in on Pat and the Stagehands, Gene, Tommy, Sean, and Bill. Dave is a bit disappointed in having to quit the C&G but for something as exciting as sunblock on a camera lens, he can understand.

PAT AND BOYS: Up to Pat and the boys. The time is nigh. We are ready. The 5 stagehands lean over the ledge at the camera 90 feet below. They squirt their sunblock. Once they empty their tubes, the camera remains as clean as it was before. They grab more tubes of the stuff and try again. We get a smatter here, a smatter there. More sunblock is grabbed and again they squirt. This time we get a good couple dots on the lens.

Great television? Uhh, not really. Ever done before on television? No, so at least you witnessed history being made.

So what were the other Charts and Graphs? I’m going to wait a day to give you some of those not used. I’m going to suggest we do the remainder Tuesday night, without introduction, without referencing, without explanation.

Before opening the Top Ten, Dave says he takes steroids because he wants to be the best he possibly can be. We see a shot of Dave before steroids. His thin, reed-like frame makes one want to offer him a chair. We then see a shot of Dave after taking steroids. Yikes! Did somebody say “The Hulk”?

TOP TEN: Things Yelled by Dumb Guys While Watching ‘I, Robot.’
#9. “Don’t kill the Fresh Prince! Take me instead.”
#5. “Rumor has it, later the robot has sex with the pie.”
#1. “Let Cheney run the country, I’m watching the movie.

DENZEL WASHINGTON: What’s his favorite sports movie? He says Miracle. This satisfies Dave. Other favorites include his own Remember the Titans. Raging Bull. Bull Durham. Hoosiers. And of course, The Manchurian Candidate.

I missed most of the Denzel segment as I was putting together a list of sports movie in case Dave called for it later in the show.
Rudy
Bang the Drum Slowly
Pride of the Yankees
8 Men Out
Rocky
Rocky 5
Seabiscuit
Caddyshack
The Longest Yard
Chariots of Fire
Bad News Bears
Field of Dreams
Breaking Away

I included the list of sports movies I compiled because I meant it when I said I didn’t see the Denzel segment.

Denzel is in The Manchurian Candidate, which opens July 30th. It’s a remake of The Manchurian Candidate. The original starred Frank Sinatra, Denzel’s character. What did Denzel think of Frank’s performance? “I never saw it.” Denzel never saw the original, not wanting to bring in preconceived notions about the film or the part. In The Manchurian Candidate 2004, Denzel plays a soldier in Desert Storm. A fellow soldier has been chosen as a candidate for Vice President. Denzel’s character believes that what is being said happened in Desert Storm may not be what actually happened. Through torture and brainwashing, he suspects there may be a plot by big, global corporations to install a brainwashed candidate in the White House. And there’s your story.

JIM ROME: radio and television sports talk show host. Rome backs Dave’s idea of all athletes being allowed on steroids. It’ll even out the playing field and no one can be accused of cheating. Let’s see how much the human body can accomplish. A one minute mile . . . sure! 1000 home runs? Let’s do it.

Dave throws out a topic. Rome slams it back.

British Open? The courses in the UK are like goat tracks. How come if it rains everyday, why is everything brown? Tiger Woods? He keeps saying “I’m close, I’m close.” But he isn’t. He hasn’t won a Major 9 times in a row. He’s lost his game since his ‘golf swing” coach left. Now Tiger is too prideful to ask him back.

Will New York City get an NBA franchise soon? Ha. Unlikely. Will Isiah Thomas coach? Likely.

Baseball All-Star game? Boring. Hometown favorite gets yakked for 6 runs in the first inning. Not much to go on from there.

Shaq/Lakers/Kobe/Phil Jackson? It’s one player running the whole thing, then denies it. Kobe wants to shoot the ball 35 times a game but with Shaq in the center and Phil coaching, it wasn’t going to happen. Kobe manipulated the whole organization and now has gotten his way. Hey, Kobe, say hello to “double-teaming.” You’re going to be quite familiar with it now that the Shaq is gone.

Best sports movies? Miracle? Jim liked Miracle. Rome makes special mention of Slap Shot and Caddyshack.

Rome says Herb Brooks was a genius as a coach, leading the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team to the gold medal. No other coach in the world could have done that. He was never close to his players but he knew how to motivate them, knew how to make them a team, knew exactly what buttons to push.

Lance Armstrong? Nobody’s been tested more than Lance, and he’ll continue to be tested until it is found he uses or until he’s run of out bicycling.

Jim Rome. Ask him anything and he’ll have something to say. Rat-a-tat-tat.

I found I was agreeing with much he said. I’ll be listening to his radio show tonight on the ride home.

ACT 5: It’s time for ‘Dwight the Troubled Teen’. Tonight playing the part of Dwight the Troubled Teen is ‘I Want To Be Dwight the Troubled Teen’ contest winner, Annette Guardabascio from Bellville, New Jersey.

Alan: “Dwight, I understand you have a new girlfriend.”
Annette, as Dwight: “Yeah. So what?”
Alan: “A relationship can be quite confusing for a teen like yourself. Do you have any questions for me?”
Annette, as Dwight: “Yeah, I got a question. Why would I take advice from a freak like you? I hate you. I hate all of you.

And that was our show for Monday July 19, 2004. Wahoo EXTRA!

Physicians live by the Hippocratic Oath, which includes something to the effect of “First, do no harm.” I wish the computer software people who come to fix your PC lived by the same. Usually their first visit involves making things much worse. Their next visit brings it back to where it was. You thank them for the help, afraid to call them back a third time. You end up adjusting and adapting to your broken computer.

I don’t want to say my computer is slow, but I think I could get information quicker if I ran to the local library and checked out their microfilm.

But forget about my computer woes. The big news this weekend was found in the Saturday New York Times in the Arts section.

Reality Radio: A Faceless Confessional
By FELICIA R. LEE

Published: July 17, 2004

With her chic short haircut and tasteful big jewelry, Raquel G. looks the sophisticated suburban matron and homemaker, which she is. But on a recent Saturday night, seated inside a womblike Manhattan studio full of microphones and nervous energy, the life she described was not that of a Westchester mother of three but that of a compulsive overeater.

"My name is Raquel and I'm a food addict," she said into the microphone, bringing a wave of "Hello, Raquel," from the other guests.

And so it went at the taping of "Steppin' Out," the syndicated 12-step radio show broadcast on 22 stations nationwide, including New York City, Anchorage and Las Vegas. It is also heard on Sirius and XM Satellite Radio.

As the name suggests, the program is loosely based on the myriad 12-step programs inspired by Alcoholics Anonymous to battle addictions ranging from cluttering to sex. Past shows have featured nights devoted to drug addicts or gamblers or alcoholics — all members of real 12-step addiction programs — or the people who support them. Call it reality radio for those who value privacy, even in a cultural moment when television is glutted with people who have plastic surgery, update their wardrobes, renovate their homes and search for spouses in front of millions.

"I thought there were a lot of great stories," said Denise McIntee, the show's producer. She started doing the shows about every other week in 1999, spurred by the stories she heard at the Alcoholics Anonymous meetings she attended for a college course on women and alcoholism. "They were full of inspiration and hope," she said. "It was just a beautiful thing, actually, and radio was the one medium that would respect anonymity."

Ms. McIntee, a veteran radio producer who hopes to add more stations this year, and the host, Drew Martin (whose day job is as a Web designer), say they are providing a public service. In fact, they plan to appeal to stations to heed the Federal Communications Commission's call for radio stations to increase their public affairs programming in this election year.

The show grew station by station and began syndicating nationally in 2002. Guests gather from 11 to 1 every Saturday night at the ABC studios on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. The program goes live to some stations and is taped to others. Raquel G. and Lindsey W., Carol B. and Paul M., all Overeaters Anonymous members, met on a recent night in Studio 12, a low-ceilinged room with gray walls and a dark blue carpet. In keeping with the philosophy of 12-step addiction programs, they asked to remain anonymous.

There was a lot of easy banter as the four waited to be interviewed by Mr. Martin. "Stay away from the jargon," he warned. Ms. McIntee wondered aloud how one manages a food addiction, given that everyone eats. "What do you do when you go on vacation, when you go to a wedding?" she asked. Ms. McIntee and Mr. Martin explained that tonight, as always, the one-hour program would follow a simple format. Mr. Martin would shoot out questions about their lives. When did you know you were an addict? How did you hit bottom? No experts weigh in, just real people who overcome real problems: they drank, gambled, snorted coke, binged on food. In the studio was a file cabinet laden with cut vegetables and dip and a bowl of peanuts, but none of the overeaters touched the food.

Two shows would be taped back-to-back that night, Mr. Martin said, and with the commercial breaks, each guest would talk about 20 minutes.

Raquel G. spoke easily of losing 80 pounds and learning to abstain from sugar and flour as a member of Overeaters Anonymous for 31 years. She drew laughter when she recalled Halloween with her children. "I'd walk them to death getting candy," she said. Of course, she added, she had to taste half the goodies to make sure everything was safe.

Raquel G., a youthful looking 65, is the sponsor of 38-year-old Lindsey W., a baby-faced man who once carried 400 pounds on his 5-foot-5 frame but has dropped more than 200 pounds. "I got into a depression mood every once in a while," he said evenly during his turn at the microphone. He revealed that he calls Raquel G. virtually every day to tell her what he eats, how he is feeling.

Carol B., a tall, thin retired clinical social worker and an overeaters member for 27 years, told of years lost to binge eating and abusing laxatives and diet pills. "You feel like you have a double life," she said. "Everything's very secretive. I analyzed my eating to death. It did no good."

Paul M.'s story was that he had been overweight most of his life and still battled with a stubborn 60 to 70 pounds that had been tackled with everything from special diets to fat farms. The only thing that worked, he said, was calling himself an addict and abstaining from sugar and white flour.

If nothing else, "Steppin' Out" reflects the diversity of talk radio and the desire among audiences for both information and entertainment, said Michael Harrison, the publisher of Talkers, the leading trade magazine for talk radio and cable talk shows. The show is well respected within the industry, he said.

"The impression of talk radio is that it is all Rush Limbaugh or Howard Stern or politics," Mr. Harrison said. "But it's a large, thriving, dynamic industry, and half the adult population of the U.S. listens to talk radio regularly.

"Everybody knows a drug addict or an alcoholic or someone with an addiction. Even if you don't there's something about hearing the details of someone's life that is, at worst, entertainment." He added that people increasingly turned to television, books and talk radio for self-improvement advice. Ms. McIntee estimated that "Steppin' Out" had about 500,000 listeners, but the program doesn't subscribe to Arbitron so the figure is inferential. Based on e-mail and letters, that audience consists of those who like the soap-opera aspect of eavesdropping on other lives and people with their own problems. (She recruits the guests through 12-step groups.) For instance, one recent e-mail message to the program said: "I found your radio show tonight, and I couldn't have found it at a better time. My boyfriend is currently in rehab, recovering from alcohol abuse. I'm going to visit him tomorrow, and I've been a little worried. Hearing those stories tonight made me realize that he isn't a different person. He needs love and respect just like all of us."

Another listener, named Susan, said she was an Alcoholics Anonymous member who had multiple sclerosis, so it was hard to get to meetings. "I always hear something that helps me," she said of the radio shows.

Gary S., a member of Gamblers Anonymous from Plainfield, N.J., who at one point was betting $1,000 a day, said the show reveals that help is available. When he appeared on "Steppin' Out" two months ago, he said, he did so thinking, "I hope they can relate to my story and understand perhaps they have a problem."

Is "Steppin' Out" therapy or plain old voyeurism? Diane Churchill, a Manhattan therapist who specializes in addiction, said that the radio show is not a substitute for therapy but that "it provides an inspiration to come a little closer."

She said: "Most people wait until someone can take them to a 12-step meeting. If people can hear what it's like, get to know the language, they'll have a little more confidence going in. People, whether they know it or not, are waiting to hear a piece of their story so they don't feel so isolated, so marginalized, so judged."